by snugglebunny 45 Replies latest jw friends
I think it probably has less to do with producing more baby dubs than it does with training a pattern of obedience and a "put the cult first" mentality. That and if you know your spouse has been trained to be loyal to the cult before you, you're more likely to subdue your doubts with an appeal to consequences - you won't let yourself doubt because it'll mean losing your spouse.
Born-ins have proven to be a retention nightmare, and the ones that stay are usually half-assed about it.
It's also a very standard practice where I live. Which explains why I'm still single
Totally pointless though cos people who want to get married will just fake their time. How do you find out if they really did 15 hours in the Month? And if they genuinely did it out of their hearts?
Ask your parents and the co's wife that question.
There are more vital and relevant issues when considering a marriage mate and you should rather focus on those.
Stupid man made rules propagated by brainless robots.
By the way, I remember an elder asking in a talk: 'if an able bodied person puts in 2 hrs in a month, how many will s/he put in once faced with the responsabilities of marriage?'
I remember nodding in agreement. If only I knew back then!
Stupid fools. Everything is good to get people to preach. Like...if you don't preach, you'll be punished by not getting a spouse.
Funny the things I accepted back then that now make my stomach turn. I read this to my wife, and she said that her father told her the story recanted earlier by Joe and Faye. He was trying to get her to test me. I would have passed with flying colors back then.
A person I know had a young sister that he was dating and she inquired of the elders about him, and they told her family that they wouldn't let their daughter marry him. Yeah, he had some issues in life, but at least he was real about them. They were more mental issues than anything, and I don't think it should be up to them to decide who is or isn't worthy of a marriage mate. After all, many of those same elders live in absolutely miserable marriages like the one I grew up watching. Not the person I want marriage advice from.
I don't remember this being a thing 20 years ago. It's horrifying to think that anybody who asks can just be shown your record card.
This religion really has a privacy problem.
I don't remember this being a thing 20 years ago. It's horrifying to think that anybody who asks can just be shown your record card.
This religion really has a privacy problem
I've always understood the process to be that the elders look at the records for you and give you a yes/no/maybe type answer. So not a total betrayal of privacy, I guess. When you contrast it with what would be likely to happen if you asked if brother McPedophile is safe to have around your kids, though, it becomes indefensible.
The idea that an elder can work out someone's heart condition based on a few numbers on a publisher card is just absurd.
I remember they also said the same thing about cleaning the hall: the singles who do it, despite being nicely dressed are humble and therefore will make good spouses!
Ow!
OneEyed and Faye.
I heard that BS story too. It was told as truth, except they were on the beach of the Pacific, the young man refused to throw his field serve us bag into the waves and he passed the test and they got married and lived happily ever after.
If that had ever happened to me I would have told the girl to F.O for trying to test me and left her standing there with her precious witness bag!
As a side point, with that many incarnations and variations of the same story it stands to reason that the story is a lie.
I always wondered "what happens if he refused?" If he says no, shouldn't he be equally obligated to break up with her for making the suggestion? At that point the "it was just a test!"retort would just seem like backpedaling.
It's no wonder that the happiest marriages I've seen in this cult were between "spiritually weak" couples. The more you follow the rules, the worse job you'll do finding a compatible spouse and the worse you'll be at putting them first before anything else.
