by King Solomon 56 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
My poor brother who is still stuck in used to always open his prayers with I started to dub "his prayer preamble". I started to mouth along with it and pointed it out to others for a laugh because it was word for word for a long time! It went:
"Our heavenly father, Jehovah in the heavens, we deem it a grand privilege to approach your throne of undeserved kindness in Jesus' Christ's name....etc." It's a wonder he didn't pass out from that long-winded intro!
NR
Praying for "justice to be done" and "Armageddon to come soon", which is code for, "kill all the worldly people already".
"Wasn't there a KM once that addressed what should not be said in a prayer? Like.....Give our greetings to Jesus and the angels."
Yes, Magwitch, there was. In addition.....it advised that it would not be appropriate to say things like "how are you doing today, God?" Such informal conversation would be inappropriate between lowly humans and the almighty. If I recall correctly that magazine (or maybe it was a KM) said we shouldn't even say such things in private prayers. Isn't it amazing that the GB can manage to even police a person's private conversations with God?
I like it when they say "we approach your heavenly throne through your son Christ Jesus......blah....blah....thank you....blah....blah......and in Jesus' name we pray....Amen" They make sure to mention that we are praying through JC not once but twice. gotta be sure, I guess
It isn't a prayer cliche.....but one of the last meetings I attended....the speaker made sure to bring out in his talk that God doesn't provide miracles today and he doesn't intervene in people's lives. We simply cannot expect Jehovah to miraculously protect us because "time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all".
Then he gave the closing prayer and asked that Jehovah "watch over each of us and keep us safe as we travel back to our homes".
Insert face palm here.
measure of your holy spirit to...
we gather here today...
I can't think of anymore; it's been so long.
I always wanted to say, so be it or so mote it be instead of amen. Means the same thing, right?
"How are you today, God?" *booming voice*"How dare you ask! I'm much too high and almighty to listen to your puny questions!!! *thunder and lightening*
'We humbly approach your lofty throne"
Then the bro. prays for 5-7 minutes, which isn't very humble at all.
RRRRRrrr, during the closing prayer on a Tuesday night, brothers asking God to give a special portion of holy spirit on the governing body during their meeting on Wednesday.
At large JW food-eating gathering prior to eating:
"Bless this food and bless the hands that prepared it."
I don't hear this one very often, but there's on JW around these parts who is guaranteed to include it in any pre-meal prayer.
How exactly is the "blessing" of the food and the hands supposed to happen?
om
It just does, ok?
