Add your favorite JW prayer cliche' (page 5)

King Solomon

Don't worry, folks: when this thread is exhausted, I'll be assembling all of these into the Holiest Prayer, EVER! I'm going to show Jesus a thing or two about How to Pray, JW-style!

Which reminds me... In the Lord's Prayer, he said this:

"Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth, as it is in Heaven..."

I'm guessing Heaven is soooo perfect since God casts the troublemakers like Satan et al down to Earth, keeping the Pearly Gates of heaven free of graffiti.

Hint: if Jesus wants Earth to get better, he should tell his Father not to use it as a penal colony for fallen angels. He's got no one to blame but Himself....

jam

The arrogant Prayer;

May we all be mindful of our conduct, we are on the

stage, we are theatrical spectacle onto the world and

to Angel and to men. 1 Cr 4;9

Oh really, most people in the world have no idea who

you are.

sir82

We've got a MS who throws in gratuitous "Jehovahs" every 4th or 5th word, it goes something like this:

"We thank you Jehovah for this wonderful meeting we're about to enjoy Jehovah, and we pray Jehovah for your forgiveness of our sins Jehovah, and may your spirit Jehovah be with the speaker Jehovah so we can benefit from the wonderful spiritual food Jehovah and sink it Jehovah into our hearts Jehovah....."

Oh, did I mention he speaks at a rate of about 10 words per second, and in a monotone?

If there is a "Jehovah" listening in, he must bust a gut with some of the things he hears!

Gorbatchov

2 weeks ago the brother who did the prayer used the opening line: "He you Jehovah, how are you".

jookbeard

Jerkhooobah;

we would really like to ask that you shine an extra portion of your holy spirit on our brothers around the globe who are in less fortunate positions then ourselves , who maybe are undergoing persecution and suffering, especially our poor brothers in Malawi(who our loving gibbering body purposely voted in secret meetings to make sure their suffering was confirmed yet your loving kindness is letting our brothers in Mexico dodge military service by being able to purchase forged military service certificates), you really are such a loving considerate generous God Jerkhoobah!

Amen.

JakeM2012

"We thank you Jehovah for this wonderful meeting we're about to enjoy Jehovah,"

I only called my father by his name when we were in business meetings. Other times when with ourselves I would call him Dad. It somewhat sounds artificial to say Jehovah instead of "Father" like Jesus instructed. If you have a "relationship" with a deity I hope it is on a more friendly basis.??

flamegrilled

Lately prayers have become a "how many times can I say Jehovah" during my prayer contest. I seems to just get thrown in like a word whisker like "um" would get used

So true. As if we would do that talking to our father. I don't even call my dad by his first name - I know some do these days. I find it less personal. But even if I did use his real name, if I said to him "and Joe could you do me a favour Joe, and Joe please look after mum because Joe you know she needs supporting ... Joe" he'd think I'd completely gone la-la.

flamegrilled

Jake - that's funny I must've still been typing the same thought when you were posting yours.

King Solomon

Jam said:

"The arrogant Prayer;

May we all be mindful of our conduct, we are on the

stage, we are theatrical spectacle onto the world and

to Angel and to men. 1 Cr 4;9"

The whole idea of talking to God is rather narcisstic: you cannot call the President or PM just to prattle on; why should the Powerful Almighty give a flyin' whit to listen to the same ol' boring spiel?

Flamegrilled said:

" Jake - that's funny I must've still been typing the same thought when you were posting yours."

Coincidence? Or had the Holy Spirit moved both of you to say it, since the vocal tics and informality really pisses it off and it wanted to emphatically make the point?

WTWizard

Adding his butt-holy spirit. I hate it when anyone prays for Jehovah's butt-holy spirit or his filthy angels to be with me--because they are already there interfering with Satan and His poor Demons trying to work on my experience with life so I will not be damned. The fxxxing angels and the butt-holy spirit already have the upper hand, so why would those witlesses want any more angels on me?

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