Add your favorite JW prayer cliche' (page 6)

King Solomon

Wtwizard seds:

"Adding his butt-holy spirit. I hate it when anyone prays for Jehovah's butt-holy spirit or his filthy angels to be with me--"

Yup.

More narcissism: as if powerful supernatural beings are in a game of tug-of-war for the precious priceless soul of a boring housewife who enjoys a spot of tea, knitting, and collecting cliches... If her fellow humans she her approaching and start moving away when everyone sees her coming, why Exactly do we suspect the supernaturals are vying for her eternal soul? They'd be like, "no, after you, Lucifer. I insist: you take this one! It wouldn't be sporting for our team to hog them all!!" lol!

james_woods

We had a real ass-hat of a presiding overseer who was hand-picked by the CO and moved into our congregation out of the blue.

He once gave a prayer in which he "thanked Jehovah for the special blessings of holy spirit since he had been assigned to us".

Nobody could believe the arrogance of saying that - in a prayer!!!

BluesBrother

"Jehovah, as we look forward to the rich Spiritual Banquet that lies before us and 2 hours of sweet fellowship in your name - may we ask for a generous portion of your Holy Spirit to fortify us and guide our minds this evening.
May our brothers on the programme be assisted in their assignments and remember also those of us that , due to personal circumstances are unable to be with us tonight, may your spirit make up their lack..
We remember our brothers in lands where they cannot meet openly and ask for your genorous support in their difficult circumstances
In Christ Jesus name, Amen"

Yuk! it is frightening how that repetitive clich'e ridden nonsense still rolled off the tongue

The best prayer ever....Ernie Beaver at Twickenham Convention one year at the close of a long tiring day , he said :

"Jehovah God - Thankyou ! Amen......"

3rdgen

@James Woods, That idiot was at least saying what he actually thought. "All you loosers should thank God I showed up to straighten you out. Hooray for meeeeee." Wouldn't it be cool if everyone who prayed at JW meetings said what they ACTUALLY thought?

"Dear God Jehovah, Please help the speakers to say something interesting. Please help the audience to stay awake for this crap they are about to hear."

slimboyfat

"Please forgive our fallen shorts."

Freudian slip, often heard.

respectful_observer

"...an extra portion of your Holy Spirit..."

"...thank you for the provisions you provide..."

The Memorial was held at the Assembly Hall a few years ago, one the GB members gave the talk and all the prayers were said by annointed brothers. One said in his prayer: "...and we pray that the Governing Body can maintain their unity..." My eyes just about popped out of my head (yeah, they were open).

jookbeard

our great redeemer and exemplar

Add your favorite JW prayer cliche'