by cofty 30 Replies latest members private
It's a sad situation Cofty. Your feelings are totally understandable. I only wish your parents could see things from your perspective - but probably that is asking a little too much. After all, they are cult victims.
I really do admire your resilience and tenacity in the face of a terrible illness. Well done for continuing to fight and stay positive.
Cedars
"Meh" is a symptom of emotional health IMHO.
How are you doing?
Etude,
I got nearly the same damn treatment at all of my neices and nephews' weddings. There are 3 of us sisters, I am the youngest, myself and my middle sister left in the 1980s. 1985 we both received a wedding invite to my nephew's wedding (it was not even a JW wedding, it was a civil ceremony held in a VFW Hall of all places.) Well one week before the wedding, after I gave them a shower gift, our JW eldest sister said, and I quote: "Would you mind not coming to the wedding or reception?" "Are you nuts?" I said. "Well if you come, none of our friends or relitives will come". I did not say a word, but I went to the bride's house and asked to see the gift I had given them (a leaded crystel bowl), I took it outside and smashed it on the concrete. Both my nephew's fiance and her mother were puzzled. I told them if they wanted to know why I did that, they should ask the groom's mother so they will learn what kind of a family she is marrying into. Oh Yeah....it caused quite a stir.
Roberta is not one to be messed with.
It is a Silcilan/Italian thing I think.
Roberta said:
I did not say a word, but I went to the bride's house and asked to see the gift I had given them (a leaded crystel bowl), I took it outside and smashed it on the concrete.
LOL! Classic... Good enuf to accept a gift from you, but you're not good enuf to share the occasion with.
However, I'm sure the bride made a mental note to NOT hand any future offspring over for Auntie Roberta to hold, if she asks, LOL!
It amazes me how JWs can stay loyal to an organization that destroys their families...
Interesting and encouraging comments everybody thanks.
I have learned to be a bit more "Zen" about my feelings in recent years. I admit to myself how I really feel about things instead of how I think I ought to feel. Never beat yourself up for your thoughts and feelings - you are what you are. Observe yourself without judging.
I was surprised to find I don't feel much for my parents even though I love and respect them. I have no desire to get them out of the borg at this stage in their lives. I'm not sure if I want to have that conversation about why I don't excuse them for their shunning or not. I think they assume I "understand". Probably I will leave it that way....well maybe I will?
I admire your strength dealing w/your cult parents and your illness.
I understand how you feel toward your parents -- my mother was never in the cult but just evil/toxic and I really have to apply empathy dealing w/her (as little as I possibly can) or talking to her at all. I'm sure your mother really loves you underneath the cult control but mine is just acting civil because she's old, scared and, unfortunately, trusts me.
Thanks for your words of wisdom, "Never beat yourself up for your thoughts and feelings - you are what you are" and the following sentence, too. Think I'm far past that but will remember in case I ever go to that realm of fantasy.
Stay strong.
Roberta, that was so cool. That's one "almost" gift they will never forget!
