Getting Back In (yes, its for family) What do I Say on 3rd Try?

Meadow36

In my last meeting to be re-instated they said for next time figure out which person from the bible I'm most like. And be ready to tell them what I pray about and how I feel about what I did to jehovah. Being honest , speaking from the heart about Jesus forgiving Peter and having a hard time answering the prayer question didn't work Getting hysterical and nervous-breakdownish at the end didn't help, nor did running out of the hall after saying I could never do any better. I can't give up, though for my family. I need to know exactly what to say so I dance for them right next time. Getting uspet again just typing this! It happened last week. Please help.

Fernando

Sorry you have to play this game that millions more are also forced to, albeit to varying degrees.

What about moving to a congregation that is more loving and down to earth with less or no Pharisees?

At any rate the best you could ever do is to have a vibrant personal faith and spirituality which no Pharisee can understand or steal...

00DAD

Say you've given it a lot of thought and you're like the Prodigal Son but are confused why they aren't like the father! - Luke 15:11 - 32

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's completely unscriptural and the hoops they're making you go through aren't even according to any WT directives. It sounds like the elders really have something personal against you.

Sadly, this is not uncommon. It feeds into some dark part of their individual egos.

I understand what you're doing and why. Going back for family is harder than just walking away. Just remember, you don't have to give up any part of yourself and you don't have to tell them everything about how you truly think and feel.

The are not entitled to get inside your mind and heart.

Tell them you're repentant and you're relationship with Jehovah is repaired and now you want to rebuild your relationships with your family and anyone else that wants to.

(I'm assuming you've stopped doing whatever you were DFd for or at least you've stopped as far as the elders are concerned)

Best wishes and keep us posted!

00DAD

BroMac

if ever their was any doubt that holy spirit has anything to do with judicials/reinstatements.......

so sorry your going through this

cobaltcupcake

What about moving to a congregation that is more loving and down to earth with less or no Pharisees?

The JC that disfellowshipped you is the one that has the say on reinstatement, which totally sucks.

Meadow, I wish you well. I don't think I could make that sacrifice for my family, even though I love them. People come and go in your life, but you live with yourself forever.

Sally

http://scottleblog.wordpress.com

The Odd Life of Jehovah's Witnesses

braincleaned

I love the idea of the prodical son choice. You can play on what's true - that it's not easy to get back in because you need help. Make them feel as they are the key to your spiritual well-being. Make them the heroes, careful not to over play it.

I really feel for you. I understand why you're doing it. But I will be bluntly honest with you - you won't be able to hold it for long. This is NOT a solution that will make you happy, unless your goal is to pry out your family from the cult.

cobaltcupcake is spot on! Think about it.

watson

Sounds like they've got you figured out.

wannabefree

It is Theocratic Warfare, only you have to play the game against them.

Whatever they say is correct, you must kiss their butts.

You are like the progigal son. You did wrong, you are so sorry, you wish they could read your heart, you hurt Jehovah and are so sorry for damaging that relationship, you are sure of your repentance, you are crushed in spirit and are trying to return to Jehovah and His people, you feel so empty and alone in the world, you need the association of the friends, you want to share in the ministry with your brothers and sisters again ... do not show any sign of thinking you were ever right or justified in anything that goes agains the organization, the elders who disfellowshipped you were right, you needed the adjustment and recognize it as loving ... etc.

What do you pray for? ... perhaps something like ... I pray regularly , I pour my heart out to Jehovah about everything, I have asked him many times to forgive me and I am confident that he has, I pray that He will allow me to be a part of His Organization again, I ask Him to help me endure through these difficult times, I tell Him about my crushed spirit and I know that I am able to continue each day only because of His help ...

Jim_TX

I do not know you personally, and so the following may not apply.

I'm not an expert at getting undisfellowshipped, but have a few suggestions...

In any negotiation, body language and appearance have a lot to do with ones' success.

I am going to assume that you are a woman...

In the case of JWs, you might need to dress wearing a long flowery dress. Lots of browns and fall colors. Make sure the neckline of the dress is up to your neck - showing no cleavage.When you sit, the dress must come down to the ankles, and not show any leg. Wear pantyhose, but not black. A light tan or neutral color.

Wear low heels, a dark color like brown to match the dress. No light colors or reds. No black shoes, either - that indicates 'sexy' and stylish. You don't want that.

Light make-up and pink lipstick (no reds).

If you have longish hair, put it up in a bun, tightly on your head. (Not too tight, you don't want to pull your eyes into a slant.)

You need to look as drab as possible. No jangly jewelry, or rings on the fingers. (well, except for a wedding ring - if married) If you have to wear earrings, make sure that they are modest... like pearls. No long dangly earrings.

When you sit, have a 'submissive' posture. Do not look them in the eyes, always look down, and look humble. (You don't have to be humble - just look it)

Basically, you have to look like you stepped out of the '50's. If you need a reference for this, watch the movie 'PleasantVille'.

Be sure to have all of the books that are used for whatever meeting that you are at. If there is a 'study' involved, make sure that you have your book or watchtower underlined and highlighted - to excess. Scribble scripture references in the columns (they don't have to apply, and write them small enough so that they can't actually read them) If it is a watchtower, make sure it is folded so that they can see you studied it, but not too show-off-ie, have it tucked inside your bible, and sticking out the top about an inch or two.

If you're a guy - forget the advice on the dress... it won't work. Wear a suit and tie. Make sure that the suit is of the proper fashion for fellas there. Get a haircut. Military-style - above the ears. Clean-shaven - no moustache.

Shoes polished and shined. If your shoes are old, get new ones.

The tie should be browns and dark colors. No bright or light colors.

Same advice about the studied mags and rags. If you really want to impress, use multicolors for studying. That way, it looks like you are really into it.

As for the 'pick a character from the bible', that gets a bit tricky...

You could pick Job... but it might get difficult to explain how you feel like you're the brunt of a 'bet' between god and satan... naw... don't go there.

Jesus, perhaps? No... don't try that one...

Mary Magdelene - you feel like a whore in the JW religion? ... naw... not good. Don't use that one...

Perhaps you could choose one of the 'humble' women in the bible... I seem to remember a few of them... Naomi?

My memory is bad on bible characters. Pick an obscure one that very little is known about, but you can use a few bible verses on.

Good Luck with Try #3. I know I have perhaps made a humorous posting to your dead-serious request, but I hope that you can get at least one or two tips from it, if not a chuckle or two.

Regards,

Jim TX

blondie

After the third time...might I ask why 2 reistatements didn't take. Whatever you did to get df'd, I'd stop getting caught doing it. They might find it hard to believe you are repentant because this is the 3rd time. I would bet it is going to take some period of time of "proper" behavior before they reinstate this time.

Moving does not work because the original JC makes the decision for or against reinstatement.

Faking it doesn't seem the best way to go; generate some real sorrow based on not being able to get back in and associate with family. Don't need to fake that.

Getting Back In (yes, its for family) What do I Say on 3rd Try?

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