I just wanted to say something about your original post.
Suicidal thoughts, I believe, cross almost everyone's mind if even for a second or two. Where it lingers is with people trying to cope with a cult situation such as Jehovah's Witnesses. Having to face shunning or being mind fucked by the teachings of WTS into believing one is "bad" or "wrong" creates such a double bind where someone is damned if they follow their conscience and damned if they don't. Like a rock dropped into a pond the ripples go on for years and sometimes decades. My son has never met his grandfather. Which is actually a good thing but I digress.
But suidical thoughts are even stronger for survivors of abuse. Long story less long, growing up in an insane world you just reach a point where you want out. You just want to quit the game, you don't want to pass GO, you don't want to collect $200, you just want it all to stop.
My last therapist, Carol, once told me that although we can deal with abuse issues they will always be a part of us. All that pain, all of that craziness will be part of who we are until the day we die. But she said that recovery wasn't a 60 minute TV drama solution. She said it's a lifetime process with ups and downs and sometimes it means we take a few steps backwards before we can move forward again. She said that the goal of recovery is to make that pain smaller every day until it's the size of an atom. But it will still be attached to us and always have an influence on our thoughts and reactions.
Just a thought LL. Where we came from, even now, has a big impact on how we react and feel about our life in 2012.
Chris