I am going to be just fine :)

by WildHorses 37 Replies latest social relationships

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    I don't know if any of you really want to hear this, so if not please stop reading here.

    I told a few of you about a guy I have been seeing for the past few months. Well, I found out that he has been seeing other women, and I spoke to him last night and tried to break it off with him. He didn’t want to hear it. He said that I was one of the best women he has ever met. Said I was kind hearted, loving, had a great sense of humor and was always well groomed when he saw me.

    It is hard for me to say no, so I let it go for the moment, but when I got home, I really sat down and thought about it. I realized that this is why I have been used all my life. I settle. Well, not anymore!

    I wrote him a letter. This is what I wrote. Please let me know if I said things in the best way possible?

    Dear *****,

    I’ve really put a lot of thought into this so please hear me out, and please do not feel that I am putting you down in any way. I just feel this is best for both of us.

    I understand that you are recently single and wish to retain your
    Freedom. I respect that, if that is what you wish.

    On the other hand, I would hope that you would also extend the same to me. I have been single for two years. No dating or anything. My reason being, I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I am now, and it would not be fare for me to try in anyway to push you to make a decision.

    *****, one thing you need to know about me. when I fall in love, I give 110% of myself. I expect nothing less in return. My only problem in the past is that I didn’t think enough of myself and let men walk all over me. I took two years off from dating to do a bit of soul searching and discovered that I am worth it. If a man can not see that, he doesn’t deserve me anyway.

    *****, I do have strong feelings for you but, if I continue seeing you. I will be in danger of losing my heart to you, and that is when I will end up being hurt, because you are not ready for a relationship with just one woman, and I am not willing to share.

    *****, I may not be “in” love with you, but I do love you enough to let go. I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do. I would hope though that we can remain friends. I would like that.

    Be happy *****, in whatever you do.

    Shari

    I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.
  • TR
    TR

    Excellent, Lilacs. You did the right thing, IMO. You don't need that kind of crap in your life. Chances are, he wouldn't be faithful to you at ANY time.

    What I appreciate even MORE about what you said is that YOU'RE WORTH IT. Don't accept any less.

    TR

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    Thanks TR, I am so unsure of myself, this being the reason I am asking for others opinions.

    Life is waaaaaaaaaaaaay to short for me to be waisting my time on men who cheat.

    Lilacs

    I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.
  • larc
    larc

    Lilacs,

    From a man's point of view, I think that was an excellent letter. If the guy has any brains, he will drop the others and see you exclusively. If he doesn't, you are far better without him.

  • Scully
    Scully

    lilacs:

    wtf???? he commented that you were 'always well groomed'???

    That has to be one of THE most shallow comments I have EVER heard.

    If he had said it to me, his ass, and various other body parts, would be in orbit somewhere between here and Timbuktu.

    Glad you got rid of him, sweetie. You deserve MUCH better than that.

    Love you lots, Scully

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    Larc, thank you for your kinds words.

    Scully, those were my words. He didn't say it that way. What he said is that I always look great.

    Lilacs

    I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.
  • Solace
    Solace

    Shari,
    I think your letter was a good idea.
    It described your feelings and needs.
    You seem like a very open and honest person.
    You are ready for a commited relationship and he isnt.
    You are special and deserve all of your mans attention.
    Maybe he will come around once you let him know how you feel.
    If he doesnt you are better off.
    There are men out there who dont want to play games and are ready for a seriouse relationship.
    Dont settle for less.

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    Thanks Heaven,

    I am very open and honest, ans I also hate to hurt others feelings. Even if it means getting my own feelings hurt.

    I have to leave for work right now, but hope to hear others opinions as well.

    See ya when I get back home. :)

    Lilacs

    I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.
  • KJV
    KJV

    Nice letter Shari,

    You know the old saying "A leopard don't change his spots." If this guy can date several women at once he will most likely cheat on you once he makes a committment. I'm surprised you haven't hooked up with one of the good looking single apostate men on this board. I think apostates make great couples!

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    KJV, I just had to look once more before going to work.

    "I'm surprised you haven't hooked up with one of the good looking single apostate men on this board. I think apostates make great couples!"

    That's because no one here has shown any interest in me LOL
    Now

    Now, I really am leaving for work.

    Lilacs

    I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.

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