How do you feel about smacking at K Hall?

by Latte 44 Replies latest social family

• 

  waiting

  Hey Kenyata,

  My son's girlfriend is from your area. They live in Charleston, SC now, going to Charleston College. He sold his car and they have bikes for around town (it's sooooo congested on those old streets.) They love it. For the amount of rent they're paying, they have a lovely closet-sized apartment - and think it's so cool.

  Ahhhhhhh, to be young again.

  Two daughters, eh? I have one daughter and 2 sons. They fought like hellions while growing up - the best of friends now. Call each other up for opinions (whether they take their advice or not) and so forth.

  I think it's a daughter's right to wrap their daddy 'round their little finger. Just goes with the territory.

  I like talking with you - hope you hang around.

  waiting
• 

  ianao

  kenyata:

  I did not expect that you would hear a thing about molestations in your local congregation, especially when most occurrances are hidden from you by the elders for the sake of not tarnishing Jah's good name or that of his "christian congregation".

  You don't hear of molestations/rape from Mormons either. Does that mean they don't occur? Of course not. It just means that they take special measures to ensure that they ARE NOT printed in the local newspaper. Why would they do that? So they can tell you when they are at your door: "Mormons don't do that sort of thing. We are a respectable people."

  At least the other church groups are open about what goes on, instead of trying to cover it up and pretend it doesn't happen. I am personally glad when I hear about a catholic priest being arrested for child molestation as it means he is no longer on the street putting other kids at risk. I would rather hear about a church group turning in a criminal rather than discovering later that they knew about their activities and covered it up to keep it out of the headlines!
• 

  kenyata

  To Ianao,

  If you did hear about any thing like that going on in the congregation, they would be immediatley disfellowshipped and thrown in jail. They wouldn't be put out of the place of worship just to be put into another congregation, like most pastors, ministers are. They would allegedly supervise their every move. I would love to hear about a elder or brother being punished because of such an unclean act, I'll be waiting for the day. The church people, from what I've seen and heard on the news get a slap on the wrist. Many times they do less than 6 months in jail, they get 10 years probation and have to pay a stupid fine. J's name is tarnished all the time when W's do things that they know is unacceptable.
• 

  nelly136

  have you been to http//www.silentlambs.org Kenyata?
  of course the site hasnt been open long but there seems
  to be a need for it.
  nelly
• 

  kenyata

  To Nelly,

  When I go home, I will take the time this weekend to get on it, thanks
• 

  ianao

  kenyata:

  If you did hear about any thing like that going on in the congregation, they would be immediatley disfellowshipped and thrown in jail. Bold is mine

  I would tend to agree that you hold this belief as nurtured in you by the elders of your congregation (the same people that DON'T tell you when it DOES happen). The big word is *IF* you hear about it.

  They wouldn't be put out of the place of worship just to be put into another congregation, like most pastors, ministers are. They would allegedly supervise their every move.

  In most "christiandom congs" that I have attended here in the USA, the molesting 'pastor/minister' is booted from that cong, and then the molester, when going to other congs (read, churches) cannot hold 'positions of responsibility' unless they have a clean CRIMINAL RECORD. So I tend to disagree with you on this matter.

  I would love to hear about a elder or brother being punished because of such an unclean act, I'll be waiting for the day.

  Yes, and on the day you DO hear about it, it may just be after one of your children have been molested. Then you will truly see why you never hear about it happening in your congregation as you are encouraged to keep your mouth SHUT about it happening.

  The church people, from what I've seen and heard on the news get a slap on the wrist. Many times they do less than 6 months in jail, they get 10 years probation and have to pay a stupid fine.

  And from what i've seen and heard from people directly or indirectly involved with various situations, many witness molesters get a mere slap on the wrist themselves (if the subject is even dealt with on the rare occasion that two witnesses "witnessed" the foul-play). Have you ever been in a judicial comittee meeting kenyata? Don't you ever wonder why they are even necessary? Have you ever wondered HOW a DF/DA'd one apostacised or HOW a DF'd one fornicated? You don't mind reading about the "gory details" in the news about other churches, why shouldn't you know the "gory details" about your own? Lemme guess, it's none of your BUSSINESS, right?

  J's name is tarnished all the time when W's do things that they know is unacceptable.

  No kidding.

  Take a look at the website nelly has suggested. It will make for an interesting read, I can tell you that!
• 

  blondie

  I first I thought this was about "kissing." Wrong!

  I personally don't believe in spanking, smacking, hitting, slapping, etc.

  If I made a mistake a work and my supervisor "smacked" me, especially in front of others, he/she would be in big trouble legally. Why? Because there are more effective and constructive ways of helping me to make corrections. This would be considered a legal offense punishable by law.

  Why then is it all right to do the same to our children who are much smaller and weaker physically? To me it is indicative of an unwillingness of the parent to put the effort into finding other ways that may seem to take longer but end up to last longer. All hitting does is evoke fear. Do we want our children to obey us because they fear physical punishment? I would think then our children would only obey us when we are with them or there is a danger of being caught. We want them to obey us even when there is no chance of being caught.

  Take the time to remove your child from the situation and talk to them. Set a good example yourself. I think time-outs can work with most children.

  Don't be afraid to speak up to a parent who is obviously out of control. Even if they don't stop, the child gets the message that not all adults support this type of treatment and may seek them out for help then or later.
• 

  ianao

  BTW,

  I personally feel that discipline should be administered to a child based on it's base personality.

  If it's a selfish vindictive son-of-a-gun that disobeys (again), then INTIMMIDATE INTIMMIDATE INTIMMIDATE. If that doesn't work, then by all means don't go back on your word and SPANK SPANK SPANK.

  If the child is loving and caring and just goes off the deep end, then GUILT TRIP, GUILT TRIP, GUILT TRIP.

  Sorry to all of you non-spankers, but if my little one (supposing I were actually grown) were to look at me and laugh when I told it not to do something, it's getting popped for it! SORRY! I've seen too many cases here working for my local school system of children having NO discipline railroading their parents and being a general nuisance to everone else.

  BTW: If I were in the KH, I would be "stepping outside" with my child.
• 

  Jason

  You don't act meaner toward a child that disobeys more often. It's not the child's fault if he acts that way. Children reflect behavior they learned from their parents, or behavior they have developed by the way their parents treat them. Children aren't born 'good kids' or 'bad kids.' And, no, you should never smack your child's face, not even lightly. HOW HARD you hit isn't the issue here. It is why you hit, where you hit, and what you hit the child with.

  You should never actually hurt a child while disciplining him. You should also never use your hands. My wife was traumatized by her mother simply because her mother smacked her in the face once in a while. Your hands should always be used to show love. Let the child know he/she is in trouble by using a symbol such as a wooden spoon or a ruler. But at the same time, don't hurt them.
• 

  bijou

  I've honestly never spanked my kids. They've just never done anything to warrant it! They're not perfect, but I can't think of one time where they've pushed me to the point where I've felt it was necessary. Actually, I did try a tap on my eldest daughter's hand a few times. One JW lady recommended I lovingly tap her hand and say "no" when she did something wrong. It just didn't feel right. My other children have never so much as been "tapped" on the hand. Other forms of discipline work just fine.