How do you feel about smacking at K Hall?

by Latte 44 Replies latest social family

  • ianao
    ianao

    Jason:

    You don't act meaner toward a child that disobeys more often. It's not the child's fault if he acts that way. Children reflect behavior they learned from their parents, or behavior they have developed by the way their parents treat them.

    Sorry Jason, but my father's stern hand kept me in line. It also kept some of his grandchildren in line as well. He taught me kindness, caring, and love. But I have ALWAYS had a problem with authority from day one of my ability to socialize, according to BOTH parents. My father had to physically teach me to obey authority through SPANKINGS, but ONLY after I would not listen to reason. Let me tell you he only had to do it twice, and that's all it took for me to realize 'him daddy, me son'.

    On the other hand, I have a set of nephews who have been OVERLY disciplined to the point that they have become somewhat 'immune' to the idea of discipline and consequently hate their mother and readily disobey her.

    It seems to be a point of balance from my perspective. My father busted my rear-end a time or two, and I learned to listen when he speaks. If he did not do that then I would no doubt be just like my older brother is today, a no-good, lousy drunk with no respect for anyone.

    Was my brother SPANKED when he would not listen? No. He was put in a corner with my own families special version of a dunce cap. I'm kind of grateful to my brother though, as he seemed to have taught my parents a valuable lesson on how to raise children, as my two older sisters seem to show.

    Every child is different Jason. Not all serial killers come from broken homes. (Psych 101 teaches you those sort of things.)

    -ianao

  • Jason
    Jason

    Ianao,

    I completely agree with you. Stern discipline is needed from time to time. What I don't agree with is smacking a child in the face because they can't sit still. there is a fine line between discipline and abuse. I did what my father told me to because I was afraid of him. Being beaten and put down every day will do that to a person. Some good did come of it as I got older but mostly it just gave me severe complexes that i can't seem to get over.

    jason.

  • ianao
    ianao

    Jason:

    I completely agree with you. Stern discipline is needed from time to time. What I don't agree with is smacking a child in the face because they can't sit still. there is a fine line between discipline and abuse. I did what my father told me to because I was afraid of him. Being beaten and put down every day will do that to a person. Some good did come of it as I got older but mostly it just gave me severe complexes that i can't seem to get over.

    The utter irony of your words, and how they parallel with the theme of this discussion board.

    Sorry to hear of your complexes Jason. I have my own to fight so I know what you are going through.

    -ianao

  • individuals wife
    individuals wife

    Just a couple of posts from the GreatCrowd.net board... sad how things never change isnt it?

    Platinum
    Administrator
    Member # 5
    posted October *, 2001 **:** AM
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    Teaching your little ones to sit still and be quiet during meetings?
    At our Kingdom hall we have some mothers that just let their kids run barefoot all over the place. Oh, they SORTA sit during the meetings, but just as often you will find them in the lobby, running.
    Another older mom, recently had a baby which is now about 1 year old. She thinks it is CUTE when the baby screams funny baby noises during the meeting and smiles at her. She says it's "normal" for her to make baby sounds.

    Do y'all feel the same way? Should we allow "normal" behavior at KH, or should we train our kids to show respect for Jehovah's house?

    Platinum

    Should we allow 'normal' behaviour at KH???!!!!!! Good grief...
    Here's another gem from the same poster... glad she's not my mother...

    Platinum
    Administrator
    Member # 5
    posted October *, 2001 **:** PM
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    a baby's sweet little coos are adorable, but it has sometimes come to the place where the baby is more audible than the speaker, and that's where there is a problem.
    I have a few suggestions that I used when Tina was a babe that seemed to work. I know all children are not the same and some are more difficult than others. Still we do have to make an effort.
    Does anyone have particular suggestions that helped for their kids?

    I know with Tina, we began training at home. NOT at KH. We had quiet times when she was expected to sit still -- not in front of the TV, but we played Kingdom Hall or Bible Study, and she had to keep her babies quiet. These "meetings" would not last very long, but she got the drift. We did not have these practice sessions on meeting days. Her quiet time was saved for KH>

    When she was very small, our KH was so packed there was no room for me to bring any little carrier for her to sleep in. She was one kid that when she was going to sleep, she had to be by herself -- not held, except when she was sick. So at KH she got overtired and screamed, cuz she refused to sleep in my arms. So.... We praticed at home. Nap time came and I held her. Tight or firmly. Told her she had to learn to fall asleep in my arms cuz we couldn't have her make such a ruckas at the KH. Others were trying to learn about Jehovah and so she had to learn to be quiet while there. So it took several sessions of me holding this screaming baby, and talking to her, till she DID fall asleep. And then she fell asleep easily at the Hall.

    We did the practice sessions at home because I didn't want a situation where the ONLY place she was expected to sit still and be quiet was at KH. I felt she wouldn't like to go there. I think because she was trained first or right along at home, she loved the meetings.

    Even when she made the babbling noises babies make at the Hall, I tapped her lips just a bit with my finger and put my finger on my lips. If she made too much noise, I didn't sit there, but took her out and we had a talk, about this being Jehovah's house and we needed to be quiet. She caught on. I didn't even have to spank her but a very few times. Even at just a few months old, she seemed to understand. Babies are pretty smart. They can learn obedience by love or they can learn to manipulate mommy and daddy.

    Toys and secular books? That will be another discussion here in a few days. Meantime, let's hear your thoughts.

    Platinum

    Holding her tightly to stop her crying? Trying to reason with a baby?
    Sessions of holding a screaming baby?

    I didn't even have to spank her but a very few times. Even at just a few months old, she seemed to understand.
    Doesn't that make youre blood boil?? How could she do that???
    Babies are pretty smart.
    Shame the same cannot be said of the mother.
    Meantime, let's hear your thoughts
    You wouldnt want to hear them dear, you wouldnt want to hear them.....

    Edited because I forgot this beauty...

    tammigotchi
    Junior Member
    Member # 90
    posted October **, 2001 **:** AM
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    When our daughter was born and we first took her to the meetings, we had a game plan! It was this!
    Before the meeting she was fed good, changed into a dry diaper placed in her car seat.When we got to the hall, we put her seat on the bench between us(not on the floor, like I've seen some do), no one played with or held her! She stayed in her seat for the entire meeting, UNLESS a diaper needed changing, but usually she was fine the whole meeting. Also there were no toys brought to the meeting! We did this every meeting and as she got older then we gave her, her own copy of the bible, song book, watchtower whatever we were studying, she also had her own bag to put her books in. We never did have any problems with her not wanting to sit. She's 8 now almost 9 and has been using a notebook to write the scriptures in for the last 2 or 3 years, follows along and comments at almost all the meetings.
    They can learn so quickly and easily with a little patience and effort!I've seen the difference right in our own cong. It seems when they are allowed to run and play before the meetings, then parents have problems the whole meeting, and no one gets anything out of it! Our daughter now visits with everybody, especially the older ones and they love it! When it's time for the meeting to start she's in her seat and ready.
    --------------------

    no one played with or held her! She stayed in her seat for the entire meeting....Also there were no toys brought to the meeting!
    How cruel. Poor baby.
  • Eyebrow
    Eyebrow

    When my brother and sisters were little, my mother used to make picture books for them out of pictures from the Paradise and other colorful brochures. She also had us mark down in a notebook how many times we heard Jehovah, Jesus or another keyword for that meeting used. It worked with most of us. But she would always take us out back in the library for a little bit when needed..because kids just usually cannot sit that still very long...awake anyway.

    One time my brother sang the theme to the Batman song during the prayer. hehee!

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