Need Some Tough Love & Help

by Simon Morley 100 Replies latest jw friends

  • Simon Morley
    Simon Morley

    Not sure how to approach this but here goes.....My wife discovered a porn site on the computer tonight. Yes, I was going to them, and I was foolish to think I could never get caught. I have been visiting them for some years, not a daily problems, but occasionaly every month or so - still a problem wethere its once or a hundred times. Yes, even while I was an elder (hence I would find a way to avoid both talks on the matter and dealing with anyone as an elder). Yes I am a huge Hypocrite - with a capital "H".

    My daughter is in her mid thirties, I know she will be devastated when she finds out - she always thought that while we were JW's that I tried to be different - really I am no different and so face the consequences.

    So needless to say I have a huge hole to dig myself out of. My wife is really, really angry saying she could handle adultery better and wants me out of the house and her life. We have been married for almost 40 years, I don t want to give up on that but know I have horribly let her down in the biggest way possible - betrayal, lies and loss of trust. So I am turing to my only friends I have and ask is there anyone that has been in the same boat and what worked or did not work in the early days to rebuild the trust? To the dear women we have on this site - what did you do when you found out your hubby or boyfriend was looking at porn?

    If there is a great possibility I am facing the rest of my life without my family - be honest with me. I need it, but I need them even if I have been a complete selfish pr%&k.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    " To the dear women we have on this site - what did you do when you found out your hubby or boyfriend was looking at porn?"

    Hm, I laughed and showed him the porn site I sometimes look at. I know that's not helpful. I hope you and your wife can work through this but I'm not sure why your daughter would need to know something so private.

  • Simon Morley
    Simon Morley

    mrsjones5: She has never viewed a site and she feesl that we have been living a lie and that we should not keep it form our dughter.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Ah no, in my humble opinion this is quite frankly none of your daugther's business. Sounds like a tactic to shame and embarrass you in front of your daughter. This issue should be kept between you and your wife.

  • fakesmile
    fakesmile

    if you are watching porn than she is not doing her job. you are not weird. REPEAT you are not weird. and respect mrs. j.

  • Simon Morley
    Simon Morley

    I see, I guess I dont blame here for doing that. I have shamed her in a way. She is even madder that I am was an elder with a dirty secret....

  • fakesmile
    fakesmile

    i actually got caught full handed. i offered my gf to join.

  • fakesmile
    fakesmile

    and who is she to judge?

  • fakesmile
    fakesmile

    please dont refer to what we all do as dirty, please.

  • Simon Morley
    Simon Morley

    fakesmile: She did try repeatedly, It was not her. Plus I was a hypocrite.

    I really need to win her trust back - long and hard road I know - but what works to do that? let the dust settle? she feels horribly betrayed.

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