Need Some Tough Love & Help

by Simon Morley 100 Replies latest jw friends

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  l p

  fakesmile: you are completely ignorant. The fact that someone turns to porn has got nothing to do with someone has sex or not. It is not an issue of not getting sex...Masturbation can be done without porn...however porn is something that turns some people on.....im not one to comment on how it makes Simon feel...only he can say that....

  and to support refuting your ignorant and offensive comment is I never denied my ex partner....in fact he would ALWAYS deny me....I went into that relationship with what I thought was a healthy sex drive,...i would have been happy with sex at least once per day,...some days probably twice....however over time he abused me in every way emotionally, psychologically, financially, sexually, physically.....as per the experts it was "extreme" domestic violence...so with due respect you are not coming from a position of strength.......

  some people are just turned on by porn....im not saying its abnormal thats not for me to say....some women like porn and like to watch it with their partner.....as i said it needs to be in a consentual relationship so that no one gets hurt

  Lp
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  fakesmile

  lp. i like comic books. should i make my partner feel guilty for not liking comics? ignorant is the last category i might fall into. so check the personal attacks. you do not know me and as a woman i doubt you understand men completley. if you cant accept your mans turn ons than you might have a better time with te females.
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  fakesmile

  watching strange online is NOT wrong. nor is it a diss to women.
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  Qcmbr

  Oh wow, I so want to ring you up for a heart to heart. Gotta go out shopping now but I'm going to post something that I hope will be useful for you when I get back.
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  l p

  fakesmile I object to your comments...Ive said you are ignorant of the situation. I have admitted I do not know all about this topic and especially why men or even women like it...Im not saying it is wrong....however you are completely ignorant in your comments...I have not had personal attacks against you except that your comments are ignorant....

  they are ignorant how: you blamed Simon's wife for his viewing porn.....you cannot support this as you know absolutely nothing (as I do) of their private life...

  secondly I said it is a form of abuse to women or men if it is not a part of consentual relationship with defined boundaries...which it completely is.....and i have given an example to you to support this and broaden your knowlege on the matter as you probably have NO experience with relationship violence...and demonstrated that it does not mean that the other partner has been refusing their spouse...

  so my comments are based in fact

  however you are the one with the personal attacks saying that: if you cant accept your mans turn ons than you might have a better time with te females

  you are completely offensive..... and have absolutely no empathetic feeling

  consider this...if porn was not damaging then it would not be considered as a part of sexual harrassment/ discrimination to have it in the work place (this is because it is degrading to people depending on their form of sexuality...i mean by this now a days i guess a gay man could take offense at seeing a woman...a straight woman could take offense at seeing another woman...a straight man could take offense at seeing a man...it all depends on how people feel)

  Its about being kind, considerate and feeling....which obvioulsy you dont as evidenced by your comments to me

  I expect a public apology

  Lp
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  Resistance is Futile

  Is your wife outraged at the pornography, or merely the act of masturbating?

  I think you're both blowing it way out of proportion, it's not that big of a deal. Let her cool off for a while.
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  fakesmile

  LP. i apologize to you and simon. but i will say this, if any lady TRIED to make me feel guilty for watching porn; id trade you in for a newer model. dont you see, you are making yourself obsolete. GET WITH THE TIMES. and if you have a man that you can guilt trip, id keep him. remember womans lib? bra burning? screw tha man? its the mans turn to be free. you should apologize for insolance and telling a guy that he SHOULD feel guilty for being human.
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  Hortensia

  The only thing that bothers me is that your wife wants to tell your daughter. That is absolutely out of line, and not playing fair at all.

  I think Mrs. Jones has called it, and her advice is really good.
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  l p

  fakesmile: apology accepted ( im not one to take offense and keep the gate!! - poor attempt at turning this into some humor.... i really appreciate your genuine response...i dont keep hold of being offended or anything)...

  um i get where you are coming from......dont get me wrong....im not....let me resay NOT saying porn is wrong... I can't claim to know a lot about men....however I have gathered that men do tend to be more visually stimulated.... nothing wrong with that at all.....

  but on the other hand you do need to accept that porn CAN have a damaging effect on the partner in the relationship (whoever and whatever sex that be) bec it can degrade the person....

  having just said that....im sure it wouldnt bother some people either....the key that i am stressing is being sensitive to the others needs or feelings......

  thats not just for porn thats for anything in life....

  and no i am very pro PEOPLES RIGHTS...that includes men as well.......

  so I dont ever desire to dictate to another human being...i believe personally you should accept someone for who they are....if you aren't compatible that is fine...you move on until you find your compatible partner....

  and please re read my initial comments to Simon....Please see that my approach was firstly trying to be very nurturing of him too as well as his wife....Im not nasty, cold or insensitive....or judgemental...

  and really "getting with the times" .....after thousands and millions of years as humans we have evolved or developed...and we are developing into a human society of one that should be developing 'emotional intelligence'....this means being aware of our actions and the effects this has on other around us...

  over the years society has moved away from degrading anyone based on sexuality and these things have been enacted in law....so if this is the standard or the 'gold standard' as it were say in the workplace...why shouldn't that be so in the home.....

  basic human rights is that no one should be degraded sexually or in any other way....the way is forward and not being aware of the effects of our actions is something for the past...

  Lp
• 

  soft+gentle

  simon hi

  has your wife threatened to tell you daughter or are you afraid that you might have to tell your daughter why the marriage failed if it does fail? Or I guess your daughter will try dig as to why your marriage has broken up and may find out that way. I see that you have been keen to exonerate your wife as much as you can. sounds to me that you are concerned about your own part in the trouble that is ensuing and want to explore this here on JWN rather than blame your wife.

  My suggestion is to try counselling - maybe even sex therapy. this may open up a way for you both to enrich your sex lives without having to be secretive