So if you tell a JW they were raised in a cult... (page 4)

DATA-DOG

I would freak out if someone handed me a card because they knew what I would say.. OMG!! DEMONS!!! Actually that is a really good idea! It would just be a matter of readiness on his part, because there is no argument against authority. If he believes that the FDS is in charge, then that is an obstacle. Still, you won't know until you try.

garyneal

You seem to really care about him and while I can respect and appreciate that given that I am married to a witness, I would say that you are better off without him. Too much emotional baggage as he juggles you and his Watchtower friends around. He actually said that Jehovah would be disappointed by your marrying him? Seriously, you deserve much much better than that.

happytobefree

Neverknew...I apologize for saying you are codependent. Because I don't know you...but you stated a few things that I think have nothing to do with dating a JW. He's not acknowledging you (and if he's telling you he's working on more priveleges in the JW faith...then acknowledging you anytime soon is not going to happen), he has legal issues (this is not a good thing for a JW or nonJW).

Now you are meeting him to remove the scales from his eyes regarding the JW. If you love him and he love you. The biggest issue would be to love each other no matter what religion. So starting with him acknowledging you would be a first priority.

I was a JW and married a worldy person...and I know of many who have done the same. But the people that I know....did not hide their mate. They seem to have solid marriages...2 I know of have been married 22 years and 35 years and both spouses have never become JW. And when they support their mate by attending the KH or the Conventions, dinners, etc...the JW treat them very well.

...so my point is as you stated you have more going for your life. So I would be very cautious in regards to this relationship. You really deserve better treatment.

NeverKnew

At work, hard to type on phone so forgive me for not being thorough.

I am loving your ideas and thoughts! The notecard idea is perfect, except that i wouldnt know the standard responses. Please help me.

I have read CCMC but it was a library book so its not in my possession anymore.

Even if he and I dont make it, if my efforts get another person to question, its a win against the Society at this point.

Happy.... no offense taken. i didnt know some were open with their dating.... thats something to consider.

notjustyet

Phrases that might be said,

-----

new light

independent thinking

imperfect men but a perfect organization

The world or worldly

the truth

-------

others may be able to add more

I would also try to look this thread up and read #6 of the first post regarding loaded language and thought stopping phrases.

NJY

problemaddict

Hey Never Knew,

I would never presume to say your thinking is flawed. :) Sorry for the late response as well. The Socratic method is the ONLY method that has a chance of working. You have to give up the C word though. It simply is a box to narrow to allow the JW mind set to fit into. It puts up a wall, carries an overtly negative conotation, and creates a defensive response that rivals very little. My wife is still attending meetings, and she comes from a legacy of families serving in various capacities. She has had the opposite experience of most of those here. In fact for most of my time, I did as well. I had the benefit of having elders and others that seemed to really care. To love people. To act not in a Pharisaical way, but in a kind and humble way.

So what do you tell that person? You can't tell them JW's are "unloving". That isn't their experience. It wouldn't have worked on me for example. Even with me not attending meetings, and being more outspoken that I should be, my friends have maintained their friendship with me. Its like we agree to disagree and move on.

So you can't assume when he gets "deeper" that it will be a catalyst for him leaving. it might give him the social structure and friendships he wants. Who knows? Everyone has a different button. For me, it was blood. Then it moved onto why are we being taught salvation is dependant on us tying ourselves to the GB? The amount of frustrating conversations I have had since this realization has let me to one conclusion.

You can't discuss doctrine with the indoctrinated.

Go to meeting with him. Make yourself a part of it. If you want him out, that may be the only way to adress it. Head on!

NeverKnew

Okay, all... I've read all of these.

Let's see if I'm absolved of any sin. I may not be so to go in to this conversation maybe dangerous.

Right now, I'm struggling with how to apologize for my delivery. I can peddle backwards and say that the religion is, at the very least, an HCG but I have to be careful.

Depending on how things go, I may post when I get home.

Gotta go.

Londo111

I wish you well.

NeverKnew

UPDATE: I'm absolved of my sin! He approached me with open arms. After the embrace, I looked him dead in the eye and apologized for...

...my delivery.

*ahem*

HEY! GIVE ME CREDIT FOR MY HONESTY!

The two hour conversation that followed needs to be on another thread. I have a few questions.

l p

all I know from experience is that it doesn't go down well

Lp

So if you tell a JW they were raised in a cult...

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