Dear mogotan!
Sometimes when under pressure we feel there is no way out.
Yet persons who are not involved and hence have an objective perspective, can sometimes see and suggest things you have missed.
That is why JWN is such a great place.
I pray you get some good advice and support here.
I once read on JWN about a clever fading strategy of moving to (serve where the need is greater like) a foreign language congregation in another state or country...
I was also wondering what would happen if every morning you gave your mom a genuine loving hug, kiss and wink and told her you love her just the way she is, warts and all...
(The "warts" could be her offensive religious views - but you would never tell her that).