by magotan 94 Replies latest jw friends
I had'nt done and research untik fairly recently. I typed in 'gay jehovahs witness' in google and I came cross (John?) from australias story. I thought it would be a terrible story, but i identified with it nearly totally.
I would try and think critically about my faith, and it would unravel.
Also,im in thr USA, in Ohio,actually.
Magotan you might be surprised who reads or monitors JWN.
You may want to avoid giving away too much personal details that could be used to identify you, your family or congregation. It's great and empowering if you can stay in control of the process (proactive instead of reactive).
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Best wishes
Fernando
Honestly, I'd be enthralled if they found out.
Magotan....Welcome. I am very impressed that you have discovered the truth about the truth at 19! I got out at 23 so you are sharper then I was.
Also impressed with your determination to get a degree. Congrats on that as well.
A lot of good advice here and good people. I personally am a non believer in god , the bible etc. So the only quilt I feel is if I do someone some harm.The funny thing was 45 years ago when my wife and I walked out we didn't change we remained the same decent people we were as witnesses. What did change is that we decided to start giving back to our friends and community.
You are starting on your own journey. In a few years you will be helping other Margotan's with loving advice. It is your destiny to heal yourself and grow as a human being. Your parents and family on the other hand will still be living a small existence.......... waiting for the rest of us to die at Armageddon so that they can finally become something better. Pretty strange way to live.
You have come to the right place mate, nobody here will judge you. Being gay is as natural as being straight. No straight person decided to be straight at any point in their life, likewise you are what you are. You have the right to a long happy life....... anyone that tells you any different, tell them to go fuck themselves.... they don't deserve to be in your life right now.
Get to college and start a new life. You will never look back.
Don't miss out on life or love because of the small minded, ancient bullshit some people have to swallow for their own fears and inadequacies. These people don't believe in fecking dinosaurs.... their opinions are insignificant. Your opinion, your feelings, your beliefs are the only things that matter.
Parents don't always behave the way they should, family can be difficult. One ay they will realise the error of their ways, until then, go enjoy your life elsewhere bro.
;)
Snare x
Welcome magotan,
I hope you will find your way soon. I good friend of mine is also gay, but he suppresed his feelings almost forty years. His way to freedom was a very hard one. The sooner you are going to loose the chains that prevent you from being yourself, the better for you.
I've had some serious issues about my faith for quite some time
- The hex put on higher education. I go to a congregation where we typically are poorer, my family likely being the poorest. I am watching kids come out of HS with no employable skills and viewing college as the evilist of all places to go. ANd when their life sucks, of course it's "Satan's system"
-They put a hex on anything they don't like; but they do it under the guise of spirituality. They have an attitude of "It's your personal choice" (to choose to not do it) (Blood is a good example, entertainment is another)
- The often circumvent and dance around issues that sound suspect to those outside (and inside) the faith. Last week's talk no 2 is a good example. The sisters doing the part started out talking about why the householder thought it was odd that she didn't pray with her. They use some scriputural BS, but the real reason is because the JW's don't feel you're qualified to talk to God, because you're not a JW.
-They use emotional bullying tactics to get members to do certain things - ex; not buying a house, or car, or getting married (singleness is the best way of life!), or having children (you can have children in the new system - they'll be perfect!)
- They guilt trip the shit out of people who don't agree. Disagreement is badged as a lack of understanding and faith. Lack of understanding and faith = you are doing something wrong.
- Appointments are done by 'holy spirit' but at the same time they harp more on the 'qualifications' than the 'spirit'.
- The hope for the Paradise IMO is borderline unhealthy - many JW's don't actually deal with death properly. "Oh she'll be awake on the other side! And we can tell her all she's missed!"
- They treat non JW's with contempt.(this has never sat well with me, ever) Any non JW will stab you in the back and kill you.
- Anything you personally do is insiginificant. Anything the WT does is great and grandiose and deserving of praise.
- a bit of a pet peeve, but they talk in phrases. "Anointed". "Food at the proper time". "Make time for the More Important Things", "Spiritual Banquet of Well-oiled dishes", many, many more.
- the timeline for Noah's Ark makes no physical sense, and the WT's explination is an affront to my intelligence.
- Too many young people rush into marriage purely on sexual fantasy. When those sexual fantasys evaporate, they're left in an empty marriage. And of course, the 'older men' critcize the young couple on getting married for sex.
- I hate the term murmuring.
Being gay is what you are it is not a lifestyle choice it is what makes you you. You deserve to be happy and to be able to find someone who loves you for who you are not what you believe.
In the JWs life has to be lived within very narrow parameters and they ask all of members to make huge sacrifices for the organisation to remain part of it. In order to make these demands then the organisation needs to be worthy of you not you them. This should be where you start. If they themselves are whiter than white and if what they offer is valid then sacrifices may be justified but if they themselves are lacking they have no right to impose their morality on you or anyone else.
You are still young but are in the dreadful position of having family held hostage to the organisation. However if you have not been baptised then do not make any moves towards being so and walk away.
Moving out doesn't seem possible either, although I can afford it, I would never get my parents blessing.
You don't need their blessing. Not even the Jehovah's Witnesses have a rule against simply growing up and moving out on your own.
Disassociating myself would give me the freedom, but my family would hate me.
I've also gotten the gist that my dad would have to step down as an Elder. My brother couldn't change congregations while living at home; dad would have had to step down.
I don't want to hurt anyone.
If only they worried about not hurting you the way you worry about not hurting them...
Your dad joined a religion that said if his adult son left the faith then your dad couldn't have a stupid status position in the religion and would be socially disgraced.
HE said, "Sure! That sounds good and fair and Christian to me! Sign me up!"
Whelp, he followed all the rules, and if you DA he is going to be 'punished' for something he did not do, something he has no control over, and something that is not even wrong.
That is REALITY. And he has to face this reality, sooner or later. He picked this F'ed up religion that would disgrace him for NOTHING.
You can't live a lie to protect him from the reality of his mistake. (Besides, no matter what you do, he will probably protect himself from that reality quite well on his own.)
HE picked the wrong religion. NOT YOUR FAULT.
YOU are not hurting him, you are just being who God made you to be. The Org is hurting him. His own choices are hurting him.
(All that said, I would move out and try to FADE instead of DA-ing...if it were me.)
I've given myself six months (before the DC of this year) to get out. If I can get my car paid off by then, I will be gone.
