In the context of this forum, happiness at its core is generally defined in one of two ways: a) Being a Witness or, b) Not being a Witness. Most of us consider ourselves happier since leaving the Organization. Because of a recent discussion between VioletAnai and Marilyn, I've thought about it some more, only to reaffirm the truth I already discovered some time ago.
Black/white. Up/down. Left/right. Happiness/being a JW. Einstein's Theory of Relativity comes into play here maybe? It all depends on where you sit – your point of view, your frame of reference. Emphasis on ... "your."
Since I've been posting here, the voices of interminable rage have died down a little on this issue (or moved on ), but I still can't help but get a sense that there are those still around who feel that anyone who'd purposely CHOOSE to be a JW just really don't want to be happy – are some sort of raving idiot that needs to get a clue.
Because of our personal experience juxtaposed with what we NOW know, many here would find living life in the organization unbearable, especially since finding out many of the long-hidden secrets that shows the Society to be a little less than what it claims to be. Add to that the list of don'ts that impinge on the freedoms that most non-Witnesses take for granted and the question "Are you happy?" becomes a no-brainer.
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Ex-Dubs remember life as a Dub:
No quiet, guilt-free Sundays spent at the beach or at home on the patio reading the paper or watching sports. No fun-filled holiday celebrations with family and friends. A frown from the "elite" if one sends their kids to schools of higher learning – surely a sign of weak faith. Limited choices at the hospital when unforeseen tragedies occur to our children. Restricted fun and spontaneity in the bedroom, even if you're married.
With all those negatives in mind, ex-Dubs say, "Hell yeah, I'm happier now! I don't have to put up with all that bullshit anymore."
But hold on... not so fast.
True, living life under those conditions sounds intolerable, so what person in their right mind would live that way, if given the choice? And if someone did, could they reasonably consider themselves happy?
Well... it all depends on your point of view. As it is with many other areas of life, where you sit, who you are, what you want all play a part in that elusive goal of "happiness."
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I know a man...
When I read Ray's Crisis of Conscience, I thought of Aaron first. The very next time I saw him, I gave him my highlighted and underlined copy of the book. As it did for me, it was the last thing he needed to hear to set him off on his merry way in peace. Like me, it set him free... to live.
He's 39 now, lives in a half-million dollar house in an exclusive addition in North Dallas. The size of his bedroom suite would cover half of my entire house. There's a heated pool out back... with a diving board! I'd guess he owns fifty suits, twenty pairs of dress shoes. (I laughed out loud, and he laughed with me, the first time I saw his closet – so big!) In the mornings, he has to pick which car he wants to drive to work (at the multi-million dollar company he started). Will it be the 'family' car – the silver 500 series Mercedes? Or the 'fun' car – the black Boxster Porshe?
He *should* be happy. Right? Wouldn't YOU be? For twenty points... is Aaron happy?
Care to guess again?
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Then there's my Mama, the Dub...
Never, not once in her 70 years, owned her own home (why own one now when she can have the home of her dreams in the New World?). Raised six kids by herself – got few breaks in life. Even in old age she works part time since her retirement doesn't quite cover the bills (but it's all temporary... the NW is coming!). Her aches and pains are real... she does her best to alleviate them... but hey!... in the NW, Jah will take care of everything. In the meantime, she spends time with friends who think like her, talks like her, sings (badly... horribly) like her, doing things she and they like to do. Has every reason to be unhappy. Right? RIGHT?
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I use these two people as examples only because I know them personally. I didn't read about them... didn’t hear about them... didn't see news reports on some TV program. I've spent many days and nights in Aaron's high-dollar home, swam in his pool, was among the very first to drive his Boxster (yippee!!!). We've known each other a long time – spent a lot of time together over the years. I've also had some experience with my mother.
My challenge is: Spend time with my mom. Just a little time. Then spend time with Aaron. Listen to the sound of their voices. If you're too busy to do that, just look at very recent photos of the two and try to see who's "happy." Really happy. See the smiles that go to the bone on the woman's face, and the look of constant concern on the man's, the man on Easy Street. I dare say, most, when forced to give an answer, would answer the same. The big question is...
Why?
