It disturbed me a little when I read happy man's words that "this was the best i ever read on this site," but then it registered that he was a JW and I understood.
In my initial post, I didn't mean to say that Dubs are happy and ex-JWs aren't; that people of little means like my mother are happy and that rich people living in half-million dollar homes aren't – that wasn't the point at all in using Mama and Aaron as subjects. All I was saying is that "happiness" is not the exclusive property of ex-JWs ONLY. People can leave the Organization and end up more miserable than ever. The Organization is neither the cause of unhappiness nor the creator of it.
Part of my thesis is that people decide to be happy. Period. If they decide to be happy with little... good. On the other hand, if they have much but continually quest for more, constantly thinking that something in their life is missing, "happiness" will always be elusive.
Prisca said: But I'm not 100% happy, and I don't expect to be. There are things in my life that I'd like to change...
That was kinda what I was driving at. "Happy" Dubs aren't the only ones in the world with negatives in their lives that they have to deal with. Regardless of what you do for a living or where you live, whether you've been to college or haven't, what kind of car you drive... Dubs and ex-JWs have some issues in their lives that lessen happiness. That's a fact of life.
Since we've left the Organization, some negatives have either been minimized or have disappeared completely, but others have increased or new ones have appeared out of nowhere. Sometimes being an ex-JW CREATES problems we would not have if we had stayed "in the truth." In or out, Witness or Ex... such is life. There is no panacea, no place where we can go to find the epitome of happiness.
Happy man spoke of field service, one aspect of Witness life unknown to most who've never been a JW, so I'll speak of it.
Personally, I loved it. I liked the camaraderie, the car groups, the sense of purpose, meeting people with "good news," taking a break and socializing at Mickie Dees, watching and listening to the antics of the little kids, meeting back up at the Hall afterwards and making further service or secular plans – the sense of family associated with the entire process. Yeah, if you want, you can easily find negatives about field service and FOCUS on those, but my point is that there are many positives about the activity, also. Something else not to be forgotten is that Kingdom Hall's are not all the same, so someone's experience as a JW in one place may be far different from someone else's in another place.
Of course, as Englishman and joelbear alluded to, happiness itself is difficult to define and even if you do, the feeling of joy and well-being is something less than permanent. Whatever we might accomplish in life, whatever activity we engage in, will ultimately come to an end. Whether we build a multi-million dollar empire following our release from the evil clutches of the WTS or spend many years sharing the JW version of "good news" with others as a regular pioneer, eventually it's all over. Like every other human to ever live, in the end we all learn the truth that Solomon (?) spoke of: "All is vanity." That being the case, why denounce others for the time they spend doing what they THINK makes them happy? Who's to say they aren't?
As Xena said of a family member: She lives for the hope that they offer her... I don't want to take that away from her. Everyone had to decide what they need to be happy and it is different for everyone. All we can do for others is be when they want us to be with a non-judgmental, open-minded attitude.
'nuff said. Thanks for everyone's comments.
