by jambon1 61 Replies latest jw friends
Steve2 says ...
While I do not believe the WT Society is the direct cause of individuals' decisions to take their own lives.
But there is a plausible and viable influence for certain ones, as the ones I pointed out who were overwhelmed by the WTS's doctrines.
These young people were not DFed by the way.
Continuing on from steve2 comments.
You can be shunned & have friends in the world, a couch to sleep on, a wife or husband, a job, a home. OR you can be shunned & kicked out of your home on the same night, you can take 1 gym bag & have nothing......this happens.
you can walk around train & bus stations trying to find the safest place to hide, this is what happened to me.
i thought about suicide a lot, why not?
would the elders feel responsible?
No, BUT, their organization made sure that I had no life or contacts outside the congregation, and then they made damn sure that every single person I knew turned their back on me at exactly the same time......so, they should bear some responsibility.
There is nothing loving in shunning, it's punishment pure & simple & most in never give any thought to what happens to those who are kicked out. There's a huge myth perpetuated that whole "feet in a hurry to run to badness" stuff, how evil DFs are, how we out drinking & partying & sleeping around.
This is to make sure that those who are still in never know the real reason a lot of us leave, because, we just don't believe it & we can't live a lie anymore.
nothing is ever their fault... pay attention... They blame you for believeing their bullshit it's all your fault...
There have probably been thousands of suicides which can be blame directly and indirectly at the WTS. and its professed doctrines
I know of two locally which can be directly in response to the WTS's lamenting for years that 1975 was going bring the end of the world.
The WTS. is known to be totally apathetic concerning individual personal lives and they certainly do not know anything about human psychology.
They want people to read their books and literature and they'll use whatever means they can think of.
(1) The members are indoctrinated to believe "there is nothing out there" so that being "cast out" or leaving is being in the "outer darkness" The person who finds themselves , shunned, an "outsider" is devastated, frightened, feeling hopeless. Terrified.
(2) The reality is , there is NOTHING in the WT, not "truth" not "special knowledge" not "original doctrines" It is a spiritual wasteland, devoid of Holy Spirit, NOT the "conduit for Jehovah's Spirit", it is a cold, empty, miserable place spiritually. The "sense" of belonging comes from not belonging to or being connected to the community around you, your neighbors, so in isolation you mistake a desert Island for a refuge, when in actuality, when you look up there is a bridge to the place God really dwells , which is in the hearts and minds of billions of people.
(3) Unqualified, uneducated, males, of usually low intelligence and limited reasoning ability, are elevated to positions way above their abilities and given powers they would never be given in society outside the KH, because their lack of qualifications would be identified.
(4) The WT is a refuge for many men who have failed in the outside world, they are the powerless, the unskilled, the poor, and in the congregation they get to have " a place in the sun" They dress up in suits and ties ( not thier work clothes thats for sure) and assume important sounding titles and strut around like dictators in a banana republic, throwing fear into the hearts of women and children.
(5) Sometimes they band together in nepotistic businesses, like the Sikhs and the Mormons and they ban together to accumulate wealth for their families. But never do the WT men set up charities, or do social services with their money, they live large and hoard their money and show it off with big cars, big houses, drinking, and spending on themselves and on whatever makes them look more important. This behavior, in itself, shows who and what they really are. So to be disfellowshipped is actuallt the best thing that will ever happen to you and if your own family shuns you, they weren't your family, they were caretakers for that part of your life.
Pickler ....... so sorry that happened to you
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I think the GB & Co know the damage they cause.
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Otherwise, they wouldn't be high-tailing it to their
new bunker!
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Even tho they know what they do ...they don't relate.
They are Narcissists in the 1st degree!
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clarity
Pickler I too am so sorry for what you went through. As desperate as things got for you, you survived. Even without a strict, fundamentalist upbringing, suicidal behaviour is statistically more prevalent among adolescents and young adults than for other age groups, so there is already a greater likelihood of its occurrence. Young people are simply more vulnerable to the painful events associated with life. Look at the upsurge in violent suicidal behaviour shown by young men whose relationships end. We do not help the discussion of suicidal behaviour by proposing one big cause - because untold numbers of young people have left the organization under dire circumstances and either found help or been given help or struggled alone... and survived.
Statistically speaking I should be dead. God knows I felt suicidal often enough as a young JW. But I am not dead (obviously). My circumstances were dire and desperate. Somehow I found a way through and I am so glad I did. Do I blame the Watchtower? How to put this without sounding contradictory. It bears some responsibility for the way I was treated and subsequently shunned. But other facts were also present that I needed to take responsibility for (too personal to mention). The thing is, if we rob young people of their own relative agency and paint them as little more than victims at the hands of the big bad religion we rob those young ones of opportunities to draw upon their own capacity to seek or receive help. At their worst states it could mean that these young ones are placed under their country's mental health act and treated but that something be done to help them through.
Once I began to leave behind the suicidal thinking (and behaviour) I was able to see that I could do things to slowly but surely take steps to re-build my life. A steady diet of "Poor me..I'm a victim of the Watchtower" would have simply sealed my fate and I would have disappeared down a dark hole.
By stating that the Watchtower Society does not bear full responsibility for enacting its dreadful shunning policies does not absolve it of some responsibility for the way it treats people. But more important, when individuals realize they do not need to collapse under the weight of rejection, they can make the most of help to slowly but surely rebuild their lives and yes eventually even thrive.
I wouldn't wish my experience on anyone and i wouldn't want to go through it ever again. It would be a shame not to have learnt some pretty helpful lessons on recovery along the way.
Steve2 - I'm glad you mentioned the WT cautioned their elders about people threatening to take their life during a judicial commitee...and there lies the problem. Most people who commit suicide do not "advertize" their intentions and those who do usually don't follow through or are attempting to get help. Others use the threat of suicide as black mail...So how do elders know the person they are about to isolate from everyone he loves not going to end it all?
The Watch Tower Society will never concede they do anything wrong.
Just Lois
The fact that the WTS has seen fit to caution elders and other senior officers on the possibility of suicide resulting from how people are treated is an open admission that they bear responsibility for some of the suicides that occur among Jehovah’s Witnesses. Otherwise, they would say nothing at all when instructing elders during KM school. And while steve2 is right to say that we as individuals must cultivate the strength and fortitude to endure trials, that doesn’t mean blame shouldn’t go to those who bring on those trials in the first place.
The root of these problems lies with empowering elders to police the lives of others in the first place. These men are unschooled and unskilled and should never have these positions. Furthermore, the entire judicial committee arrangement is unscriptural. Far from meeting in some kind of secret conclave, both the old and new testaments talk about open discussion involving the entire community when wrongdoing by members had to be addressed. Additionally, the elder arrangement as presently constituted is the Society’s way of insuring that it has the final say in how a congregation is managed since it appoints all congregation officers. The rotten fruitage has been on display for more than seventy years now but this does not convince the ruling clique in Brooklyn to abandon the setup.
Quendi
