Reach out then.
Let her decide whether to discuss religion.
Listen to what she says about it rather than giving her a list of all your issues with the organization.
In other words, go slowly.
I need some advice please!!! I'm torn on what to do.
by Gojira_101 34 Replies latest jw friends
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Theocratic Sedition
I had an issue with a girl I worked with at one point and it caused me to stop speaking with her and even with necessary work related matters I was cold towards her. As time went on I started to realize how petty the whole thing was and apologized to her. Have to say it was a wonderful moment of relief after getting it off my chest. The best part though was she understood where I was coming from and we moved on from the incident and I still get along well with her. I bring this up because with your friend being a former JW, she knows all too well how this religion works and likely will be completely understanding of where you're coming from. I say like others mentioned, say hi, wsup, let her know where you stand at on this religion, etc..
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punkofnice
Just do it.
She'll either accept you or she won't.
You'll never know unless you try.
If it all goes pear shaped then it's a lesson in life and a bridge burned.
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OnTheWayOut
You think she might still believe it's the truth and want to go back? I disagree but- That's even more reason to reach out and say hello. You are her friend regardless of where she is and what she currently believes.
If this is your reason, I think you might be the one still under the influence. You might be afraid she will reject you, because despite her being gay, she at least believes the lies. NO WAY. Call/FB your friend. Go out of your way to reconnect.
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punkofnice
...and if she is still 'in', you might be the person to make her see TTATT
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Gayle
Most gay individuals had to go through alot of personal honesty issues to be able to 'out' publicly about their orientation. I would expect she of all people would respect your honesty about coming "out" of the organization. If she is still 'stuck' about any WTism condemnation, you owe it to her to be free of it all.
A 'hello' from anyone in our past, I consider it a wonderful 'blast from the past."
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Wasanelder Once
You dont need advice, you need to make a decision based on what you know and feel. How's that for advice?
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Gojira_101
OnTheWayOut, I am not afraid of her rejecting me, crying out loud! I've lost all of my JW family, and most of my JW friends... You think one more person rejecting me will make me afraid? I don't think so.
The reason I'm unsure how to handle this is because 1) I'm new to this whole apostate thing, and 2) since I was a born in and been a JW almost 30 years. I know how these people think, even if they leave, they are still mentally tied to WT. I have another friend who was a born in too and left. Until recently when I mentioned something about JWfacts, and until she went on there, she still though JW were right! And she's been out for 9 years and is a Mormon now. and SHE still thought WT was right. My point is, if someone is still mentally connected to WT and thinks they are right, no matter what life they are living, you can't reach them!
Thank you everyone for the advice. I sent her a message and let's see if she replies. I actually had her phone number, but I lost it when my phone crashed on me. I don't even know if Sara will get my message because it looks like her Facebook settings are really strict, I can't even send a friend request.
Also when did Facebook start charging $1 to send messages to someone who isn't your friend? That is so stupid!!!!
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return of parakeet
Call her. The worst that can happen is that she rejects you as a friend. Unpleasant, but at least you tried.
If you never call her, you will always wonder if you made the right decision and regret that you didn't try.
I'm speaking from personal experience.
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Suraj Khan
I think you would do a wonderful thing for 'Sara' to reach out to her. She's undoubtedly suffered a great deal of rejection in her last few years.
Do understand, though, that with that rejection often comes shame and a very defensive mentality. She may reject your overtures, or see you as part of the Witness organization: that is to say, part of the problem rather than part of the solution. Be sure you let her know, before she tries to cut you off, that you believe it is up to each individual person to choose loving concern over hateful shunning. All the organization can do is influence and suggest.
It seems you have much more love in your heart than to be led by wicked organizations into un-Christian acts. Let that heart be your guide.