My question is who would even be dumb enough to commission such a silly study? Couldn't the same could be said of any celebration like the memorial? I do recall having a lot of stress at those awkward memorials and there was alchohol there...
New Magazine says birthdays will kill you
by RayPublisher 56 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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St George of England
A study by an elderly UK researcher has shown a 25% greater chance of getting laid on a birthday or at Christmas.
How grateful we should be for these wonderful biannual events.
George
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return of parakeet
"So statistically true but I reckon driving your car is much more dangerous than celebrating your birthday"
The WTS should outlaw cars with the threat of disfellowshipping if dubs disobey. Cars are not found in the Bible -- that makes them evil.
Dubs should use only chariots and horses to go anywhere.
WTS, pay attention! What an attention-grabber chariots and horses would be! Dubs would be in the news the world over. What a great way to call attention to the Truth! Another gem of an idea from JWN. You're welcome.
Re: birthdays. I think it's the sugar and rich, cholesterol-laden icing on the cake that nudges birthday celebrators into that just-waiting-to-happen heart attack. Bad cake! Bad bad cake!
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prologos
did it say birthdays or birthday celebrations?
one way or the other, one day is better than the other.
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Heaven
Dubs should use only chariots and horses to go anywhere.
LOL! Yes, parakeet, I think the chariots are key here as we wouldn't want the JWs to be confused with the Amish and Mennonites.
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
What about the increased risk of death from engaging in sexual activity? Granted, I'm still rather new at being "worldly", but wouldn't your b'day be one of the primary days of the year to get laid?
14% greater probability of dying in the arms of a lover with birthday cake and booze on your breath. It doesn't sound so bad to me as a way to go when I'm over 60. It would be the probability of falling down a flight of stairs to my death at a WT Discrap Crapvention arena that would be a terrible waste.
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AndDontCallMeShirley
Statistically, there's probably a better chance you'll eat cake, drink alcohol or place yourself in close proximity to open flames on your birthday too. So what?
I wonder how many people die on their wedding anniversary compared to the other 364 days of the year?
WT should outlaw anniversaries too, just to be safe.
Maybe WT should just outlaw fun. That way no one will ever die.
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tootired2care
These fuck3rs will not be content until they suck every last bit of joy from peoples lives. This is one of things that I slowly came to realize, how could anyone want this for eternity in paradise hell? I can't help but think of that picture in the recent watchtower of dubs at the beach...khaki pants at the beach it's fun right?
Maybe WT should just outlaw fun. That way no one will ever die.
They have "top men" working on this problem as we speak.
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Dagney
I'd like to know who gave the ok for this to print, would love to have a conversation with them.
Someone who definitely doesn't like cake and shiny pressies.
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Satanus
Sounds like a good way to go. I agree w billy.
S