New Magazine says birthdays will kill you (page 4)

rip van winkle

Hiding in the dark and screaming "Surprise" is probably what kills them.

So, it's really not the birthday that kills, it's the party!!!

I'm thinking with all these lay offs at bethel the writting department took a big hit in the downsizing and so the articles will become more and more a big waste of time for the rank and file to read and then they got big trouble in the spiritual paradise.

They need to fire these guys and get some new writter those magazine sales are gona vanish if the don't get some better editors.

How are they going to survive as a printing corporation if they keep printing this shit, and it doesn't matter how brainwashed are your readers this stuff is crap and a waste of time reading.

prologos

there was another study out that shows people can - and will - postpone their death to experience an important event, passover, family gathering, etc, so perhaps

the two studies are related, you hang on and on to have all that birthday acolade, and then depart in peace, dying old and satisfied like the patriarch's story of old?

take it from the straight shooter

Newly Enlightened

maybe it's the hot young thing jumping out of their cake that does it?

problemaddict

Well lets face it. cake has sugar, simple carbs that have been processed. Sugar is addictive, and not good for you. So you could lead into a life of obesity, get diabetes or heart disease....and BOOM!

Dead.

Thank you for the food at the proper time, and this clearly explains why JW's are the fittest religion in the world. No cake and walking all the time!

(sarcasm)

Heaven

Billy, I like your thinkin'!

Sooo.... using some Botchtower logic here.... one shouldn't have a birthday at all then. This aligns with their ideal of not having children due to the end being so imminent and the life saving work being a #1 priority.

prologos

may be a disproportionate number of that 14% are JWs, because

1) they feel LONELY on that day because the JW relatives would not dare to visit and/or

2) they are AFRAID the elders will find out that they did not protest sincerly enough when well wishers celebrated, remembered another successful trip around the sun for them anyway.

therevealer

SWITZERLAND
A study in Switzerland states that there is a
14 percent greater probability that a person
over 60 years of age will die having sex
rather than on other ways. While having sex, people
in general suffer fatal heart attacks 18 percent
more frequently, women suffer strokes 21 percent
more frequently, and men commit suicide because of sex 35 percent more
frequently. Scientists assume that stress and alcohol are contributing
factors in the increased rates of suicides and accidents. Some experts
contest this study, however, believing that use of viagra may account for
many statistical errors.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Unless someone dies, it isn't much of a birthday party. Maybe that's just my WT upbringing talking.

frankiespeakin

I can just see one of the governing body going over to a writter and asking him if he got any stuff they can use to show why birthday celebration are bad and make Jehovah sad. And the writter says:"well I googled the phrase "bad news for bithdays" and this study came up do you think we can use it?" GB says: " Sure we can enlarge it to fit the whole page this is stuff the publishers out in the field need to know.. this will make a nice follow up for the new Caleb's almost steals a lolipop video.. Oh and I have a new no masturbation for the deaf video I'm working on wanna watch it? over at my room tonite?"

New Magazine says birthdays will kill you

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