Welcome skinned sheep,
I have often wondered as you do, how I could know if my friends or family were having doubts or even if they just were around as I was....for appearances. It hurts to live an inauthentic life. It hurts to have people you love think you are insane or "weak" for stopping attendance at the meetings. Fortunately, there are no original scripts. The stories here mimic each other in striking fashion. I have only been inactive a little over 6 months, and i attended the most recent District Convention, just to have all my concerns and fears justified by the content of the teaching. All the while some family and friends were so happy I was there, I think it gave them false hope.
You are exceedingly fortunate to have your wife with you. Mine is half in half out.....mainly due to family and friends. We love each other and that has superceeded organizational loyalty, but it took time to get there. It can also be interesting to look at YOURSELF and take time for reflection. i mean, I used to actually teach people Jehovah wanted them to die rather than take a blood transfusion. I taught many people this. People I still know and now pioneer and have children. I brought many a person into "the truth". Now I constantly think about how I can UN-witness to them. There really though, is no way. You have to just be open to other peoples concerns, and when they express them....verify them!
I was thinking, the change regarding the FDS actually makes more sense in many ways now that the malarky that was taught before. Of course, it isn't about the teachings subject to revision is it? Its about the control. COntrol never given to men from Jesus in the bible. The concepts of "new light" that give men impugnity to be falsely teaching, and still somehow be right. There is an elder here named COBE beef. He wrote notes from one of the elders schools here. Those notes were a wake up call for me. So don't be shy about contributing. Stories and information benefit people here and mostly lurkers, in ways you can't really imagine.
Let me know if I can help you with anything brother.