Another Newbie

by Skinnedsheep 66 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ding
    Ding

    What is the best way to feel out a friend to find out if he or she has any doubts or criticisms?

    Great question!

    I agree with Cofty that the safest course is to say nothing at all.

    But if you want to get through to your friend and are willing to take risks, I would recommend listening a lot and saying little. If the friend expresses any doubts or questions, DON'T jump in and express your doubts or try to show him what you have discovered... at least not right away. That could overwhelm him, scare him off, and get you DFd. Instead, be nonchalant and noncommittal about it so he knows he has a safe place to vent.

    If you want to initiate discussion, I think the best way is to ask your friend what he thought about the latest WT "new light" article, such as the latest articles on the "faithful and discreet slave." You might mention that you just wondered because you personally have been having a little trouble grasping all the ramifications of the new teaching, probably because you had been trained in the "old light" and even taught it for years.

    They might use that as an opportunity to open up about their own doubts or criticisms.

    But if they are shocked by your comments or seem uncomfortable by your comment, you can say, "Well, it's no big deal. I'm just trying to understand things better and it's taking time."

    If things go wrong, your friend might get the elders checking on you. You can assure them that you are working through the issue in your own mind, trying to understand the various changes. As long as you don't directly contradict the WT or bash the organization, most likely they will let it go at that. But "more likely" isn't a guarantee. You ARE taking risks by saying anything that might be construed as sowing discord or apostasy.

    Of course, if the elders have been making "shepherding calls" on you or hounding you already because they know you have doubts, you need to be extremely cautious because they may be looking for any chance to catch you in something for which they can DF you.

  • Mum
    Mum

    Welcome, SS.

    My exit did not come because I woke up. I was bitterly disappointed about 1975 because I had not planned for old age and retirement. I was only 27 in 1975. I was losing what mental health I still had; i.e., I was bat crap crazy, without hope or anything to look forward to.

    I wanted to go back to college to at least learn some job skills, but my elder husband was against it. Family members gave me enough money to take two classes at the local state university. We had a fight about it every day.

    My cousin, who lived on the other end of the U.S. told me I could come and stay with him while I sorted things out. Little by little I came to realize that it was not evil to get an education or plan for the future. I also knew that I did not want my daughter to have the kind of life I had.

    Fortunately for me, I did not come from a family of JW's. So I did not risk losing family by my choices.

    Best wishes with your roller coaster ride. If you can move to another location, I recommend it. Otherwise, just keep up appearances.

  • Ding
    Ding

    Skinnedsheep,

    You are probably able to gauge the reaction to the "new light" about the FDS far better than those of us who don't attend meetings.

    What do you think? Are a significant number of JWs troubled by all these changes or is it the usual situation where the vast majority simply swallow wholesale whatever the GB tells them?

  • stuckinamovement
  • Skinnedsheep
    Skinnedsheep

    All....thank you for your thoughtful comments. @Ding...the new teaching seems to have bothered some but not others. The problem they have is how do they express their questions without being labeled as disloyal?

    I think that there are many like me who have seen the real side of the organization and have a bad taste in our mouth. Still many of the people within are great moral people. They are just mislead.

  • RayPublisher
    RayPublisher

    " It will be the straw that breaks the camels back for some."

    Yep. That's what we call collateral damage, and the WT has never shied away nor worried about taking out a few with "friendly fire"... It's part of the way they wage war and maintain control.

  • BU2B
    BU2B

    Welcome skinned sheep! You are not alone.. I am still a MS doing a slow fade for now, just keeping up enough apperance so as not to arouse anymore suspicion until the time is right.

    In other news from the inside, the NuLite dosent seem to be ruffling any feathers, JWs where I live seem to be very exited about the changes and the need to keepup with the chariot

    But then again the ones who arent so positive about the changes probably would just shut up about it and say nothing..

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Hi SkinnedSheep!

    Did you know about the UN scandal? If so, what were your reactions and thoughts about it?

    Some additional reading, if you don't mind:

    Visions of Glory by Barbara G. Harrison (out of print)

    Captives of a Concept by Don Cameron (available at http://captivesofaconcept.com/index_for_site_all.html or AMAZON.COM)

    A People For His Name: A History of Jehovah's Witnesses and An Evaluation by Tony Wills (aka Tim White), available from AMAZON.Com

    The Desolations of the Sanctuary by Emil & Otto Sadlack, available from AMAZON.COM

    Best wishes to you!

  • Ding
    Ding
    The problem they have is how do they express their questions without being labeled as disloyal?

    Another great point.

    No doubt the WTS is a thought control organizatio, held together by fear and intimidation. The "Watchtower Studies" are phony. No real comments or questions are allowed, only parroting of WT propaganda. No doubt you have read some of Blondie's threads about Comments You Won't Hear at the kingdom hall. Wouldn't it be great just once if everyone had freedom to ask those sorts of questions at the meetings without fear of being disfellowshipped?

    I gather from one of your earlier questions in this thread that you would like to be able to have some sort of forum where JWs with doubts and questions could get help searching for answers.

    In large part, that's what JWN is all about. Of course, JWN is an "apostate" website on the "evil" internet. It takes courage for a JW to come here.

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    Welcome!

    Your story is a familiar one.

    You will find you can learn much by reading what others have experienced as well as by sharing your thoughts and questions.

    Many here are in a similar situation. There are some new like yourself, some long since out, but maintaining contact for family. Others post here to be of encouragement for new ones like yourself. Of course there are always lurkers: those that are filled with doubts but not quite ready to express their thoughts and feelings even in an anonymous forum such as this.

    Oubliette

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