I would go nuts at meetings too, therefore my fade was very short. I really feel for those who have to go for family reasons. I really do.
Since you've left, are you still good friends with your bestest JW buddies?
by Julia Orwell 39 Replies latest jw friends
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Aunt Fancy
I do too Julie! Did I understand you correctly that your husband has stopped going to? Does he realize what is really going on?
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Ucantnome
two both female.
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nugget
No. I had believed they were my friend but in the end they were merely cult puppets unable to think for themselves or appreciate what we shared and meant to each other. The difference between us is that if they came to my door I would welcome them in, if I went to theirs they wouldn't even open the door. Their friendship was conditional on what I believe mine is not.
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Julia Orwell
" I do too Julie! Did I understand you correctly that your husband has stopped going to? Does he realize what is really going on?"
Yes he's stopped going. I'm not sure what he really thinks. He's a quiet one and doesn't talk about it. Religion is a bit taboo in Australia, especially for men, if you're not a JW. Whatever is going on in his mind, he's still thinking on it.
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Witness My Fury
I've been disowned by my so called friends.
Not a single phone call from anyone within my circle of friends apart from one 2 memorials ago to invite me out for a drink with two mates, one being a young elder the other an MS, the drink and chat etc was all a bit forced and basically boiled down to an effort to encourage me to return topped with an obligatory offhand memorial invite at the end. I said I wasnt planning on going, which was an ultimate conversation killer.
I chose not to say anything about why I'd stopped going, but did near the end when it was obvious they were avoiding the subject ask them point blank if they wanted to know, ....and they didnt. The elephant is in the room!
Friendship is entirely conditional. It's a cult.
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l p
I have to say that when I left I left all my friends behind.
Luckily I have reunited with some friends that have left and you know I just spent this weekend with them and jwfacts and his wife and son. It was just like the "old" days. There is such a closeness there even though it was over 10 years ago when we were all together.
Its so great being reunited. i dont think I will find other friends that will be as close as these as we all were in the same place for many years.
Lp
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SophieG
Ok i am fading and this is weird but yes, I have friends who I still associate with. I went to dinner with one last week and I told her: " I don't do that anymore" concerning jw life. I talk about my life how much more happy I am and my plans for the future which will not revolve around JW life. Surpringly afterwards she turns around and tells another friend about our dinner and they both want to meet up again.
Another friend openly on FB told me we need to meet for Happy Hour! ?? And she knows that my belief system has changed. In most cases I have left these friends alone and they are ones who reach out to me.
i do not talk doctrine to them at all, I steer clear of it. I came to the realization that it's not up to me to pull them out. I think talking to the authentic person vs the cult person may seem less threatening to them. I use the same tactic on my family.
However I am fully prepared if they shun me at some point. Won't be my loss. Ces't a vie.
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HarryMac
Sorry, Julia, not gonna work. In my experience you end up making all new friends. If you've left recently then I realize this is hard to visualize. It snowballs faster than you might think.
All my JW friends are ex-JW.. and they are some of my favourite people in the world. One of them looked me up when he decided to leave years later... I basically ignored them while they went to the KH.
You have to sacrifice your soul far too much to be their friend whilst they are still in... speaking for myself.. I'm just not willing.
Like, what? You're going to be sitting around with some old 'friend' having a nice visit when she quotes 1Cor 15:33 at you? You're then going to dive and tackle her while you scream 'You shut your mouth whore!' ... I mean, honestly... is this how you want to live your life?
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franticfran
We had realy close friends in the congregation for almost 25 years we would holiday together and when I look at family photos of weddings etc they are everywhere,we were closer than family but now I never see them and if I do they pretend they dont see me! So much for "brothers" but now I have made new friends here and locally who seem to like me "unconditionaly" so thats fine. Glad to be away from those shallow people.