ROP use your anger don't let it use you.
jw's are robotic, for years our emotions were suppressed to control us.
Anger is a much needed force of energy n our lives, but it has to be controlled, it is what gives you the strength, it is what will prople you
forwards and get you through this. You are going to need all the strength you can muster, it is going to drain you, it is going to get worse, you feel bad now, it's nothing to what lies ahead if you don't play this game right.
and that is how you view it, game of life and you either want to win and survive, or your going to wishy washy, and get destroyed.
i'm not going to molly coddle you, no, why, it won't do you any service.
yes you need help, you need love, you need support, you will get that from all the mighty fine people here, who will do all they can to help you.
But you got to help yourself first. So don't think I am being harsh. I'm telling you reality of life, not bulsshit, this is a very high stakes game.
Your life is at stake, your kids lives are at stake. You got to be like a soldier girl, 'man up' it's a rough ride.
You can tell me to piss off, I don't care, but I will not pretend, it's no use pretending.
I wasted 20yrs of my life on a man I loved, (non jw) sacrificed my life, literally. It nearly killed me, nearly lost my kids for ever, have a son who 'shuns' me, not even jw.
My family, non jw, don't get me started, lol, no help, I lost my kids, had a breakdown, wandered the streets like a stray dog, watched my mum, my only hope, die of cancer, met a wonderful man, sent to me I belileve to 'save me'.
I have my girls, at a very heavy price, they have suffered much, watching them suffer alone was torture. ( at least we have the rest of our lives salvalged form this shitty situation we found ourselves in. I blame myself, for being 'a good wife'.
I have spent the last 2 yrs rebuilding and fighting for my kids, this man who professed to love me soooooooo much, turned into the devil himself and has pulled some stunts., I have been dragged through the guttter and torured by the very man who was supposed to love and protect me. And the ride aint over yet, not by a long shot.
You got to box up all the jw stuff, put it far away from you and your precious children, and cleanse your brain.
You don't say how old the kids are ?
You don't say if he is fighting you for custody to take the kids ?
This is about survival now, yours and your children.
Can you get away anywhere, go stay with anyone, take kids on a cheap holiday, anything to 'breathe'.
As long as you put that man first, and keep kidding yourself, he is going to control you and drag you down.
Your not responsible for his relationship with the kids, leave him off, work on your plan. don't let guilt and mixed emotions rule you.
Prevention is better than cure my dear. Don't be passive with the jw's or elders or your husband or anyone else, don't be aggressive, be assertive, be strong, smile and stand tall. When your on the floor, there is only one way to go, and that is up, or else stay down and die. It's that harsh, sorry, but true. you got to fight now. You got to be like momma bear.
x
