by Julia Orwell 71 Replies latest jw friends
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry for your ordeal. Drink some warm tea and listen to some soft music to calm yourself down. And so far as your friend is concerned, why did he have to bring around a second person anyway if not to be a witness to what you said? He could have come himself. Some friend.
Tell your friend about the Fellowship of Catholic Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses and see how he likes that.
He'd spit chips. He's of the old school WT which hated everything Catholic school.
Yeah sure the catholics have done some bad things, but so has every church. He chided me saying, "You were never part of another church like I was."
He has a point, but I mentioned all the wonderful Christians I've met who aren't JW.
I just scoffed 2 huge slices of banana cake. Talk about comfort food. Going to make more tea ;)
If i were in your shoes, I'd be looking for some cheesecake. But if you are going to talk to your friend again, in all seriousness buy a book by Jason Everts called Answering Jehovah's Witnesses. It is in question and answer form and will really stump him and make him think.
After 40 years a JW, he's always right. Nothing stumps him, he just talks over the top of you.
The JW double standard annoys me. He was saying about how Jews are told not to read the NT because it might shake their faith in Judaism. I said to him, if the Jews had the truth, it shouldn't be a problem for them, because the truth can stand up to scrutiny. He agreed. Then I said, "So why is it JWs are not allowed to read anything which challenges their beliefs? JW dissenters' websites, perhaps? What are they so worried about?"
But you can't get through. My dad reminded me you can't argue with a zealot, and that's what he is. He's a really great guy, but a real zealot. Well, if he's happy with that, that's good for him. He can't accept my view on things though.
I agree, you can't argue with a zealot. But you never know what seeds you might be planting in his little brain.
Julia, you're in that horrible spot that we've all been through -- the point where you know you want to leave but can't quite believe that the people you thought of as good and steadfast friends are turning on you. You've just seen a demonstration of their tender "love" for a "lost sheep." Wolves tearing at a deer would be a more appropriate description.
As you continue the process of getting away from the dubs, you will see your "friends" for what they really are -- members of a cult. The cult was the only thing that you had in common with them.
Imagine this scenario -- everything's been patched up, and you're attending the meetings again. Could you ever feel the same trust and love you had for your friends again, knowing what they did to you?
You're going through the toughest part now. It will get better. You will learn to assert your rights about who you talk to, who you let into your home, who you call your friends. Someday soon you'll look back on this time and marvel that you ever bothered with them at all.
"Drink some tea. It's a good drink. It'll keep you going."
I am sorry Julia Orwellthat your friend wants you to continue to be victimized by the WTBTS. Your father is right! You are better off being Df'ed so that you can start to live the rest of your life free of the WTBTS and make new non-conditional non-JW friends.
I hope that you will forgive your husband for not coming to your rescue when you wanted and how you wanted him to. He may not be at the same level of critically thinking and awareness as you are now.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
Thanks guys, just had a nice cup of Earl Grey.
My husband really didn't know what to do. He's of a different nature to me, very quiet and non-confrontational. He was afraid if he said anything to my friends, I might bite him. I'm quite assertive and so is Dad, and we often shoot off at the mouth and get in trouble, but our family life was full of all of us being very vocal about our differences, and loving each other the same, whereas my husband grew up without a family and doesn't know how to operate in one. He did tell me after we talked about it that if the elders do want to come here if my friend rats me out, he'll tell them to go away. He doesn't want them sniffing round and upsetting me.
And Parakeet, thanks for your understanding. My dad is right and I can feel it in my bones, but it's so hard for him to understand. He understands that it's hard for me because I've invested my life in these people since I was in my late teens, but not having been there himself he sees it as just going, "Stuff you, I'm going." I'm gonna end up saying that, and he's like, "Who cares if you get dfd? YOu're better off!" I tell him I'm concerned about my reputation etc and he's like, "Who cares? Look what these mongrels are doing to you, who gives a rat's @rse what they think of you! Get some real friends!"
His outsider's perspective actually sees the forest for the trees, and the support of him and my mum is phenomenal.
Hey should I put that huge rant on page one into a separate post?
you don't have any JW friends - just people you used to be acquainted with
dithch them - all thats going to happen is you will get frustrated and DF'd.
time to move on.
