My JW best friend is bringing a 'heavy' around to my house to talk some sense into me. (page 6)

jean-luc picard

Hi Julia.

Sorry to hear about your bad day.

Looking back on your first post, your reasons for fading were,

first of all for your husband and

then so as not to lose your friends.

I think you now know that not losing your jw friends is not a realistic option. A poster recently said, that in his experience, this is true for no matter what friends made through no matter what common interest group.

It seems that your husband is on the same track as you. You'll now go on to make new friends, who will bring you new and sometimes exciting experiences in your lives. Enjoy that. Try not to be angry at your old friends. Its just that your growing and moving on.......and they're not.

Good luck. Tomorrow will be better.

jlp

LongHairGal

JULIAORWELL:

Sounds unacceptable to me and any "best friend" who tried this with me would NO longer be my friend. You and your health do not need this.

If it was just a face-to-face with your friend that would be one thing. You will not have control of the situation (in your own home, no less) if two are ganging up on you.

I despise JWs for imagining they are the superior authorities and can go banging on people's door! As another poster said: you have to establish boundaries.

I would tell them never to darken my doorstep again.

Oubliette

You could have always turned it back on them: I thought you were here to encourage me. You're not being very encouraging! This feels more like an interrogation!!! I think it's time for you to leave.

- - - - - - - -

In one of your earlier posts you said you were mad at your husband for not standing up for you. I think you should reconsider. It sounds like he was right by your side throughout your confrontation with your friend and "the heavy."

Arguments like this are unwinnable with a cult-indoctrinated individual. It seems you had to get this out of your system and experience it first-hand to see the futility of it.

Your dad is right, "Get df'd and get it over with. "

Unless you have family members left in the cult, you're much better off out of it!

troubled mind

Julia , I have just finished reading through your experience ,and it all sounds so very familiar . I can relate to how your mind is reeling right now because you are coming to the reality that your "old Pioneer friend" is really not who you imagined him to be . When we were active we truly thought we were among 'brothers and sisters ' a family ,but once you leave that illusion dissolves very quickly .

Know this Julia ,you will rebuild new relationships ! You will be wiser the second time around . You will recognize users and people that are not genuine . It takes time ,but you can do this .

Please do not put yourself through anymore JW emotional pain ! You may start receiving calls for invitations to a JC in order to address some of the things you mentioned to the CO ....if you do ,calmly tell the person on the other end of the line to never call you again . If you recieve a certified letter from the Kingdom Hall ,do not open it have it returned to the sender . Your emotional health is being compromised and it is really ridiculous to allow them that kind of influence over your life . The only power they have over you is what YOU allow them to have . You will never convince them that you have valid reasons for leaving ,so don't waste your breath . Be free ,live your life and be happy . Thankfully you have your parents and husband that is a great support system right there so many never have the privilege of having any family left ,count yourself fortunate .

When I first left there were times I really wanted to just hear another ex- jw's voice, and I did reach out to a couple of people from the board . It helped to get me over the hump of losing so much personal contact in the beginning . If you need someone to talk to I will pm you my phone number .

Fernando

Hey Julia! I wonder if we should let those from other countries know that the walls in Australia are made from paper and not bricks?

I hope there is not a next time, but if so what about slapping the hounders silly?

DesirousOfChange

we often shoot off at the mouth and get in trouble

Some people learn from their past experiences easier than others.

Doc

Comatose

Julia, I feel like I know you in a way over the past several months. So sorry for your ordeal. Please know we care and feel for you. You may not be DFd at all over this. My two cents are that what was said was done not in front of two elders from your Cong if I understand correctly. The actual first step would be for two elders from your hall to either ask to meet with you or to ask you to repeat things that are df worthy. So just don't talk to them anymore.

blondie

The thing with talking to many jws is they never finish discussing a point before the jump to the next. They don't listen to what you say, just what they are going to say next. This is why I never get into any discussions with a jw, friend or not.

No pearls before swine; and I don't have to explain myself to them.

Blondie

mrsjones5

I'm not going to get involved anymore though. No more JW 'visits'.

Good. I thought from the getgo you shouldn't let those people in your house but you strike me as someone determined to to do it your way (like your dear father) so I held my tougue and hoped it wouldn't go too terribly south. I'm pissed that they had a go at you but you stood your ground and I think you had to experience something like that to make it more real for you. We can tell you it's not a good idea but that doesn't make it real, sometimes it has to be experienced for a person to get it.

You did fine, you did good, you're a strong person. Try not to be so hard on hubby. Seem you've trained him to be one way and now expect him to be another. Maybe a little clarity is needed.

Watchtower-Free

Hang in there Julia.

This is the place to vent .

My JW best friend is bringing a 'heavy' around to my house to talk some sense into me.

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