I just informed the parents about me and the TTATT... heart wrenching

by sosoconfused 77 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Phizzy

  I too am really pleased your Dad has not let the cult get a complete grip on his personality or his thinking. With your Mum it is to be expected that she feels the situation very keenly, it is as though her child has decided to kill himself, that is how she feels.

  A poster above said, "Love never fails", which is true, it is people's failure to react as they should to love that is the problem.

  Keep telling them you love them, and will be there for them, whatever happens.

  I have told my old Mum this, and also said that I " haven't left the truth, I still love the truth, wherever I find it", which I think she knew was a barbed comment, but we have had a normal family relationship ever since, we just don't talk religion, suits me.

  Well done, you have made your life much more free and much better by what you have done, been honest and yet loving.
• 

  Oubliette

  Phizzy: I ... also said that I " haven't left the truth, I still love the truth, wherever I find it"

  I love it. I recently told an elder, "The truth is as important to me now as it ever was, maybe more so!"

  It was priceless to see his face because I know he sensed he was being had, but couldn't quite understand how. Cognitive dissonance is a bitch until you learn to love her.
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  RayPublisher

  sosoconfused - Awesome job. I LOVE YOUR DAD! Keep us informed please...
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  sosoconfused

  Welp I found out why my dad feels the way he does and why he has for a bit. apparently about 4 years ago they had a C.O. visit and the secretary was not keeping up with peoples time. The report said there were 4 pioneers irregular along with 24 publishers. The C.O. wanted to know why this was the case. My father told the C.O. during the meeting that the secretary has not been keeping records appropriately(my dad has always been a straight shooter). The C.O. told him that he had no right to point fingers at his brother and cause disunity. He said, "You asked us what the problem is and everyone here knows it. Would you prefer we all lie?" The C.O. in turn went on to counsel him in front of everyone and it stuck with him. That event made he realize that all his years of serving that doing what was right was always second in regards to keeping good feeling among the "body". He felt as an elder he was responsible before Jehovah for the congregation even if that meant the other elders were not onboard. He said that the decision I made is not the one he would have, but he respects it and feels that Jehovah can not be angry with someone who loves him and is seeking the truth. He said, "I will look at you like Solomon - he had a direct gift from God... he had many blessings from God directly. He knew God was Jehovah. However he was also an apostate. Jehovah knew his heart and that's all that matters. All these labels and titles mean nothing because we have to stand before God. If you think you can stand before Jehovah with this decision then who am I to not respect it? I love this guy... I just wish as a kid that he could have spent more time with me then being wrapped up with this crazy religion.
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  Aunt Fancy

  I just read the message your Dad sent you and it brought tears to my eyes. I would save that message and play it whenever you get down. He is a good man and he realizes he made some mistakes and wants to make up for the time he wasn't able to spend with you. Your Mom sounds like my husbands Mom when he told her recently he doesn't agree with the religion. She kept asking him if he was going to the meetings and he finally told her no and why. His grandmother (anointed) came into the religion in 1912 so you can see how ingrained the brainwashing is and his Mom is not a happy person but at this point we doubt she will ever wake up. He has been to visit her because we live over 1000 miles away and it was left where he can't talk to her about his beliefs but she isn't shunning him either. He had a sibling that died while disfellowshipped and she didn't shun him and he is all she has. Shunning is such a cruel practice and I have a feeling your Mom won't because your Dad won't allow it.

  i am looking forward to hearing how your fishing trip goes. You never know what has been going through your Dad's mind because he was an elder and they see a lot of stuff that isn't right and he may confide his thoughts about how things were handled and you will be there for him.
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  Aunt Fancy

  Wow! I was writing my comment at the same time you wrote your reply. Your Dad is a good man and you are so fortunate he is being loving towards you. I had a feeling something about the religion bothered him. My husband was a long time elder and he stepped down because he did not like the things that were taking place. I honestly think there are many elders that know things aren't right and they either step down, continue because they think they can change things (which they can't), they stay because they don't want to give up their power and position or they have family they don't want to disappoint. I think this is an opportunity for you to have an even closer relationship. There is so much freedom with being honest and you are going to continue to heal now.
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  sosoconfused

  @Aunt your last statement about freedom in being honest is sooo true.

  After I was able to tell them I saw the disappointment but there was an instant feeling that there was nothing left to hide anymore.

  whoever I lose or ignores me so what, atleast I can be myself.

  There is absolutely no way that a loving god would kill people for not being juuuuuust so. If you see corruption and leave why would you be held accountable.

  Watchtower knows full well that peopel stay not because they know it is the truth but because they are scared of what they lose
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  sarahsmile

  Did you ever think that your dad was an apostate?

  At this point I would like to suggest something.

  Buy your mother Christian fiction. Most are about family struggles and the love of God. It will bring her to tears and open her eyes some.

  Just trying to replace her WTBTS books with something else.

  Thank you for sharing.
• 

  Farkel

  sosoconfused,

  Awesome. You are not the least bit confused. They are, though.

  Good luck. (Yeah. I can say that and no lightning bolts hit me, and no demons invade me. They mess with my furniture when I have garage sales, though.)

  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  Farkel
• 

  Crazyguy

  That's awesome about your dad, hes still being a bit judgemental comparing you to Solomon but he much closer in his thinking to what Jesus and Paul talked about. Wish all so called Christians could have actual love for one another.