Another story... possibly final story (page 2)

OnTheWayOut

I consider family obligations very serious. In this case, however, your parents are using you and your duty to family. They are using you and avoiding asking for help from the one in their cult because of his cult activity. That is actual JW training to "use the world." Total BS.

I would tell them simply that you need to know if they will change their relationship with you depending on what happens with you and the JW's- inactivity, disfellowshipping, whatever. If they say they may, will, might.... then I would tell them that my love is unconditional and that only after exhaustively asking the JW for help and coming to realize that their deatbeat JW son won't help them, to call you again and see if their answers have changed. Otherwise, you will check in on them and send them a card every now and again and let them know how you are doing and you wish them well.

But that's me.

LongHairGal

confusedandalone:

I am just floored by the logic your brother showed when he said "Jehovah is allowing his kindness to be showed to you a little longer..." this in regard to you giving your parents money to pay their debt incurred on behalf of their other son.

In other words, you should feel privileged to be put-upon. This mentality never failed to amaze me and it is sheer arrogance and presumptuousness.

Now, I am not saying you should not help your parents (they are your parents and you love them). It is just that this is not the first time I have heard about JW parents being bailed out by the children who are OUT of the religion. Meanwhile, the ones still active have excused themselves from their responsibility.

There may be some ex-JWs who would refuse to pay the parents' debt in this case and let the super-spiritual brother deal with his own mess.

If I'm no good, then my money is no good either.

confusedandalone

OnTheWayOut - 3 Days ago my dad asked me to go fishing... Instead he decides to bring me back to the house and show me the credit card bills they have and why they can no longer pay them... HE IS 75 years old!!! He wants to borrow 10k and will pay me back 100 a month.(Like He will possibly live long enough to pay it)

He specifically stated in nearly the same words that my brother die, "If you get put out before I borrow the money I am afraid of what it will do to my relationship with Jehovah".

So in essence he wants me to hurry up and fork over money so that he can accept it with a clean conscience...

These are the same people who never bought me a bike as a kid, but bought him everything he needed to stay in the FULLTIME MINISTRY. When I got my first real job after leaving BETHEL i paid their full rent and various other things. When I got married they never paid for anything and never bought me a gift. I have never recieved an anniversary gift after 13 years of marriage. I owe them nothing. Still, I was willing to do this. Yet I will not be rushed into it over some stupid cult technicality about getting the money before an arbitrary event occurs. I told him I am no longer one of Jehovahs Witnesses by declaration so he should be SHUNNING me already. They want the money though.

Minds poisoned to that degree by this cult generally can not be salvaged. It isd sickening

confusedandalone

" There may be some ex-JWs who would refuse to pay the parents' debt in this case and let the super-spiritual brother deal with his own mess"

This is how I feel at the moment. The problem is when looking at a 75 year old man and wife who's online income is Social Sercurity, you feel bad.

I said file for bankruptcy... his response is, "I have to let my yes mean yes... i made the bills so I have to pay for them". There is always some Watchtower rule to keep you in a state of want / need and that your only hope for joy is to wait for the New System when all this oppression is gone. Freaking pathetic.

I honestly just wish someone would disfellowship me already. I mean it just seems like it makes life easier LOL

Yan Bibiyan

Articulate and proper response to such nonsense, nevertheless due to a medley of sad reasons.

Sorry for your having to deal with such crap...I am not close to my brother either (for different reasons) and not having contact actually feels better.

confusedandalone

" .I am not close to my brother either (for different reasons) and not having contact actually feels better."

I know the feeling. Every conversation seems to be forced like neither of us wants to be there - but we have to muddle through it.

Calebs Airplane

Confused... you really show an incredible amount of restraint... I would have blown up after his bit about Jehovah holding back the winds of discipline so you can fork over some money while still remaining in an un-disfellowshipped state.... wtf?

troubled mind

That just sickens me ! The way your parents and brother behave is inexcusable . It is time your brother acted like a man and took on some responsiblity himself . Actually you should allow him the blessing of taking over the debt for your parents ,it just might be Jehovah's purpose you know .

clarity

Confused..... geeeze! I feel such empathy for you .

>

Your brother is a useless tit ... if you don't mind me saying so,

and it is time your father came down off his high jehobers ass

and get real!

He has a conscience does he .... well let HIM take care of his

own adult responsibilities. He borrowed way too irresponsibly,

and should now stand up like a man .... if he can't pay..... then take

the hit of bankruptcy.

Don't put his lack on your shoulders!

>

I don't say this lightly ....... I am not far off your dad's age,

and NOBODY is gonna pay my bills! I would not hear of it!!!!!!

>

Take care dear boy

clarity

lost

so sad. But as they say ''the truth will out''.

Gosh, what a tough spot for you to be in. But they made their own bed.

and if you get disfellowshipped, it won't be your problem, as they have cast you out.

It always boggles my brain how 'families' can be so cruel.

hugs

Another story... possibly final story

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