This threads don't close out but if you need to you can just stay anonymous by not posting names or places ever. I'm not going to try and encourage sneaking behind your parents (cause like I said earlier I'm a parent and I'd be sad if my kids felt they had to hide things from me) but you can be silent and avoid bring this site up to them until they approach you about it. Then be honest... tell them yes I was on this site. Limit your words and pray to God for the right words!
I'm new here...
by Demokan 52 Replies latest jw friends
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humbled
Demokan,
My youngest daughter fended off the elders who tried to crowd her into baptism. They arranged to come to our home because they felt I wasn't doing right by her--she being a bright girl who gave sharp comments at meetings and could have answered the baptismal questions right then if they had asked.
What she answered made them leave her alone even if it didn't make them happy.
She told them first that she wasn't ready. They offered to set her up with a book study (they obviously were unhappy with my results). She told them that my study with her was fine but what she lacked no body could give her--she told them that baptism was a dedication to do God's will and baptism affirmed the relationship you had with god.She was right so they couldn't "un-horse" her. She said though she knew all the answers, she had no real connection with God at that time. She thanked them and told them she would let them know when she was ready to study with someone else.
She was 13.
At 16 she asked to study with a lovely sister whom she loved. She herself terminated the study several months later feeling she was wasting both of their time--no hard feelings. then she skipped meetings(bad mom, I let her). She studied for college, got a scholarship and financial aid to a good school in Massachusetts. She will graduate next year.
She worked hard and her big sisters helped pull her through. One never got baptised, one went through hell and a sort of fade, went to college and is doing fine.
Just a side note: Being young you will have hard times. My family has certainly had them, and my children struggle in life. So I want to make it clear that even a good life, a life that will bring you satisfaction will not be easy. But remember THAT IS LIFE. Life IS a struggle--but as one of my kids says, "I shouldn't be miserable." So never believe that the troubles in life are because you left the organization or because Satan is on your tail.
Whether you have an abiding faith that a Goodness presides in the world that Jesus tried to invite us to know and share (I do), do find a way to love yourself and others without the rules that kill you and others. You will do well. that is the story that so many here will tell you. And you will do well.
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Demokan
@humbled, I'm glad everything turned out well with your daughter and she got a scholarship too! @hortensia there actually isn't really anybody I can talk to about my feelings toward the GB and the JWS because I don't actually have any "WORLDY" friends, mainly because I am not allowed to talk to any of them outside of school... I still don't even have a cellphone even though I'm going into grade 10 (so texting is out of the question) my mom worries that ill get involved with "bad association" but honestly I thank "gosh" she didnt cancel the Internet. She already canceled our cable sheesh! We haven't had cable since she got reinstated, I was 6 years old at the time, it was almost instantaneous she got reinstated and then *BAM* nothing to do. She takes the Internet out at 8:00 on most days but I have a backup cord :3. And I read that cognitive dissonance thingy on jwfacts it's pretty interesting I still need to study moar so that I can take on the elders one day jk. Last post guys I can't post anymore for 24 hours. ._. My mom actually prayed with me to open my heart and not "doubt" Jehovah at 1:00 am in the morning last night-. But seriously though its so hard to believe how humans can be so dumb.. Like if they get lied to in front of their face they will believe it more? What the heck is that.... (The alien thing in cognitive dissonance) anyways like I said this is my last allowed post for 24 hours, but I do very much enjoy reading your responses. I guess 3 things I can do to make my life easier is: 1. Go on this site. 2. Avoid FS. 3. Study nightly for my school.. Starts in September ! :D o god my sister is swearing at my mom right now... So much for getting baptized in 2 months... TTYL in 24 hours.. Are there lots of teenagers on here or just me?. Just wondering. It's kind of weird I'm confused who everyone (personality wise) because at the meetings my aunt, mom and sister act so differently, like they are extra careful like they never have broken a glass in their life. At home they act different .. And at school they act different. It's like "which one are you?!" I brought this up with my mom last night when she asked my why I was having a hard time believing in our religion, I brought that up and also the liver transplant thing. She is a hard nutt to crack. but I will defininately not speak up right now unless someone asks.. So yeah. Thank you all again! Sorry I can write as much about certain things because I'm on my iPod right now and it is hard to use the keyboard because it is lagging bad (iPods not designed for full websites like this) or else I would answer your guys questions more better...
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jgnat
Welcome, and enjoy your new studies of TTATT. A word of warning, most Witnesses do not welcome information that will threaten their beliefs. I think you have a taste of that already. You don't want to complicate your life any further until you are independent and on your own. So I am asking a fifteen year-old to show restraint, LOL.
You need trusted confidants to help work through what you are learning and feeling. That might be a school counsellor, this board, or a non-Witness relative.
I wish you all the best. The truth, though painful, is brilliant.
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Tylinbrando
Welcome Demokan. Excellent advice has been given to you already and I hope your journey is a smooth one. If you are using an iPod, download the Mercury App. It's a full browser that works well with this forum. ;)
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wallsofjericho
Seriously though- I need to help my sister get out before she gets baptized which she is planning to in like a few months. I must stop her!! How do I approach her in a way that she will listen.. ._.
welcome Demokan,
you've had a lot of good advice here. I would strongly recommend at 15 years of age to respect your parents and don't buck the system too hard.
Many of us here have been trying to fade and help family for years, even decades. You must face the reality that you may not be able to "help" your family as quickly as you hope.
For you, you need to back down a bit. Your parents know you "doubt" (or at least that's what they call it) BUT - If you start speaking against the WTS they will label you an apostate an then you have WAAAAAY more problems, baptized or not you will be an apostate and your fading dreams will vanish.
as for your sister, if you push her too fast her JW conditioning may kick-in and actually back fire on you.... reinforcing her conviction. You will be a "machination of Satan" at that point and nothing you say or do will ever reach her.
if you want to reach your sister, try asking her "why" she wants to get baptized. Many young people get baptized b/c freinds are or b/c of parental pressure. You can find articles that show that her dedication from the heart must happen first. The actual baptism is a symbol of that dedication she has already made in her heart.
You may be able to get her to acknowledge she is desiring baptism for the wrong reasons, for appearances sake and not b/c of a true whole hearted desire to please Jehovahthis may by you some time with her
good luck and keep us posted!!!!!!!
woj
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wallsofjericho
oh,
and another thing.... ask your mom why Jehovah created dinosaurs.
its a perfectly innocent question, but you'd be amazed how many JW's have NO IDEA how to answer it, becuase they avoid it and the WTS offers little regarding such in print.
don't go fast with it, just ask her like :"you know what I've always wondered? Why Jehovah created dinosaurs"
leave it at that. Let her think. Every WTS answer will contradict itself.
1 - dinos live prior to 65 million years ago, but WTS say dinos died in the flood, I thought the flood was 4000 years ago?
2 - dinos have never lived while man was on earth, where they in the garden of eden?
3 - animals in the garden of eden lived in peace, archeologists have found dino fossils with dino bones in their stomachs. Why did Jehovah create flesh eating, murderous monsters?
4 - aquatic dinosaur fossils have been found in mountain tops and deserts, techtonic plates move in mm's per year, how did they move thousands of miles in only a few hundred years without the earth tearing itself apart?
the dinosaur question is great!! because it will bug them for days while they try to figure out a way around some a simple question
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SAHS
“Gypsy Sam”: “Needless to say, we made the Memorial our last involvement with JW's”
“Ding”: “It's hard to know what to advise regarding your sister.
Does she believe it all or does she have serious doubts?
Depending on how close you are to her, you might consider asking her to help you clear up doubts or concerns you have about the religion, things that are holding you back from being baptized. If she agrees, you can show her things you are finding out (like contradictory statements, false prophecies, etc. in the publications). Instead of telling her your conclusions, you might ask her what she thinks, if she understands why this troubles you, gives you pause, etc.”
“Demokan,” that’s actually a good idea which “Ding” mentioned above. One thing that I find is extremely advantageous and smart is showing my long-time Jehovah’s Witness parents some full-length documentaries which I have found online (usually from YouTube). I tell my parents that I have come across a particular educational or news documentary which deals with either a general topic, such as mind control techniques or religious charlatanry, or even something specific about Jehovah’s Witnesses, especially if it is from a broadcast from an actual news network. I work it into a causal conversation, and then whet their curiosity, after which we mutually agree to view it. I’ll say something like, “I haven’t actually seen this before, but I just came across it the other day, and it looks sort of interesting. You might be interested in seeing it. See what you think of it.” Then we watch it, or as much of it as they want to see, and then they give their impression and comments about it, which usually leads to a good little discussion. The good thing about this approach is that it uses something from a more neutral origin – it is not something coming directly from you, but something you are proposing for mutual objective consideration and analysis.
“Demokan”: “So I just got back from the meeting, it was soooooooo~ boring. I just zoned out and daydreamed the whole time”
A good trick I’ve been using for many years is to use the ability to actually “play” music in my mind. I play the actual audio of the music that has already been stored in my brain through repeated listening. Of course, there are no physical sound waves involved when you are doing this, but there is an internal cognitive audio “signal” that you can summon and review/run right in your brain at will. It’s really an authentic audio daydream. The audio information already existing in your brain can be utilized in that manner to recreate the actual, literal substance of the music within the cognitive functioning of your consciousness. (There’s nothing mystical or uncanny about it – it’s just the natural ability we all have.) It works – trust me. This technique has gotten me through many meetings, assemblies, and conventions. (That, as well as the other ability I have, which is to control my brainwaves so as to bring myself into a napping state – no actual rapid eye movement (REM), but sometimes a little sudden head bobbing.) You’ll learn some of the good tricks of the trade here.
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never a jw
Be patient, even if you feel the urge to scream, be good to your parents, but the most important thing stay away from baptism. Jesus got baptized when he was 30.
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Bangalore
Welcome to JWN.
Bangalore