"You knew what the consequences were when YOU decided to leave The Truth. This is YOUR decision and the outcome is YOUR responsibility."

by nicolaou 55 Replies latest social family

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  nicolaou

  How many of us have had to deal with a version of that retort?! It's hurtful and I suspect - for some - that's partly because of the nagging feeling that our families may have a point.

  But do they?

  I was 15 when I got baptised, is it reasonable that as the 50 year old man I'll be on my next birthday I continue to be held to a decision I made as a schoolboy?

  If the agreement I 'willingly' entered into as a child is changed by the other party without any debate or consultation with me why should I feel obliged to honour it?

  Screw 'em!
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  nugget

  When I prepared for my baptism there were few questions on disfellowshipping and none on apostacy. There were no questions on the need to cut off family members or the possibility that I may have a change in viewpoint. None of us were told about the dangers of changing our mind when we made our commitment, nor were we asked to reaffirm our baptism each time they changed the doctrines or the questions.

  To my point of view the organisation I thought I joined was not the same organistion I left behind and they have no justification to cut me off from friends and family.
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  Splash

  It isn't the same religion that I was baptised into 25 years ago.

  Splash
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  steve2

  I was told the same thing: You made a decision to be baptized and you knew what the consequences would be when you chose to leave. THis is the kind of water-tight argument beloved of those with legalistic minds and hearts.

  I have wondered the same thing, nicolaou about my age - and frame of mind at 17 - when I was baptized. Now I am nearly 60 and am still held to account for my decision to be baptized. Truth be told though: This consequence has virtually forced me to get on with my life - which I have done with vigor. I count my losses as unavoidable and I have valued the support I have received from family. For example, my now-deceased mother made it very clear to the elders in her congregation that she would not shun me nor turn me away. She was from the "old school" and refused to bow to pressure to keep away from me. She also remained a loyal witness convinced it was the truth. I treated my mother with the utmost respect because I knew that so many other young ones who had left the organization were/are shunned by their parents and others.
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  Laika

  But isn't it a bit like an abusive husband threatening his wife if she leaves him and then following through on the threat?

  'You knew the consequences' true, but it's still abusive, and the abuser is always to blame.

  Edit: cofty used the same analogy: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/251655/1/My-Parents-Reply-to-my-Letter
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  cofty

  Thanks Laika, I think the analogy is valid...

  Imagine a husband who said to his wife, " if you leave me I will find you and kill you ". Subsequently that is what happens. In court his defense is, " She knew what the consequences were and she made her choice. The responsibility is not mine ." How impressed are you with his reasoning?
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  flipper

  This is the kind of idiotic blathering that my JW ex-wife put onto our son when he decided to exit the Witnesses and stopped attending at age 18. She was and is a very judgmental , self righteous JW and instilled this dictatorial , punitive type mindset into my adult JW daughters as well. So they use that against my son and myself. We chose our course , so according to them we " deserve " the ill treatment and shunning . It's so twisted and sick it's disgusting. Fortunately we have risen above the treatment, but it still hurts, we are only human. They are truly mentally off
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  gma-tired2

  Splash I was baptised 51 years ago and very few things taught are the same. I have been told you have to be at every meeting to understand all the new lights. As my family member was saying this I think she had doubts as she expressed this thought aloud.
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  Xanthippe

  I decided to leave my religion, not my family. They chose to shun me. They decided to obey men instead of their natural human feelings toward their sister. Everyone is entitled to decide what they believe.
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  Phizzy

  I am bumping this because of the excellent replies to the accusation made above in the thread Title, we need to have them ready for when it is thrown at us.

  That way we will combat cult mind control, to borrow a phrase.