Well cofty, you asked a few different questions in your OP, including is theism obsolete...
Personally I can't seperate theology from practice, and I think it has something useful to say for as long as it encourages good works and good feeling. You regularly assert that there are better reasons to do good than are offered by the religious, a subjective viewpoint anyway, but regardless, who cares if the reasons are more intellectually sound if they don't produce more action?
Theism is at its best in the modern affluent west, imo, when it provides a social support, community and feeling of acceptance to those who might otherwise be fobbed off in society. JWism may not have been a good experience for me, but for two people from my old congregation, a 90 year old lady with no family and an autistic man a few years older than me, it would be a vital social support system. I can argue they could have gotten that same deal from another Church with less baggage, but I don't see how they could have gotten it from membership in a secular group.
Secularists should rightly be proud of their support for gay rights, but they clearly still lag behind theists in many areas, and theism will not be obsolete until they find a way to catch up.