by Markw1509 65 Replies latest watchtower scandals
ok--markw1509---lets see who you believe.
lets say a court gives you access rights--lets say 1 weekend a month. you live 300 miles away. you travel there--by arrangement.
you find a note on the door--" weve gone to the district assembly--see you next month"
next month--you turn up--"sorry--the kid has a headcold--see you next month"
next month--" sorry--theres an R in the month"
how long till you join the army of dispossessed dads?
if i seem hard or cynical--its because i am. ive been there--times 3. now my 3 are grown up--but 1 is d/f & now is in contact with me.
only one way to play it---the money. you hand it over AFTER you get your access visit.
no visit==no money.
its all she will care about.
trust me.
You have to pay child support (I don't know about alimony or "maintenance"). You should pay child support if your daughter is a minor. Unless there are unusual circumstances you should also be allowed supervised visitation. Yes, the long distance gives her an opportunity to discourage you with cancellations, etc.
I have a son who is going through a similar situation. His commute is almost 200 miles one way. He has done very well in keeping his one hour visit appointments each week but the mother of our 3 year old grandaughter is very bitter and makes it as difficult as possible.
We have talked about the possibilty of just giving up and walking away (except for the $ support) but that is really not an option for him emotionally.
Thanks, folks, for all the replies....very interesting and informative.
Actually, I was referring specifically to the 'alimony' that my ex-wife gets, and whether it is right for her to take the money, even though she has shunned me and has absolutely nothing to do with me.
This has been going on for 10 years. My daughter is now grown up and married. I wasn't even told that she was getting married. Not allowed.
I left the religion. My punishment for life is not to know what is going on in my daughter's life. She won't allow contact. That's her perogative. I have to accept it. I have accepted it, for now. I don't even know if she has had any children.
I left my ex-wife with the house when I left. I took nothing. She had everything. And she wants the money I send every month, because the courts told me I had to pay, as my job was well-paid.
It's certain that others face the same situation. But it leaves a nasty smell that she continues to take my money, when in every other sense of the word, I must be 'shunned'.
So it's really a case of "don't have anything to do with him...don't talk to him, don't answer his letters...no contact at all....oh, but you can still take his money because Ceasar said you can"
Sorry, but it all just stinks.
And they say they don't split families up. What a joke!
Again, thank you folks for all your comments and great points. I am grateful to you all.
markw1509
yep--same here--times 3.
except i didnt pay any alimony--we agreed a clean break deal.
i now have 7 grandchildren.
4 live 8 miles away--my daughters kids. ive never met them--dont even know the youngest 2's names.
next 2--same area--i met them once--6 years ago.
last one--no idea where. or even boy or girl.
i just hope some jw lurkers are reading this thread.
You are legally bound to pay regardless of whether you see your daughter or not. You do have recourse to file a petition with the court to get visitation with your child if your wife is refusing you visits.
Most courthouses have a self-help center, even online. I would check it out in the jurisdiction your wife resides. You may be able to file a petition without having to hire a lawyer.
Good luck.
Diana
Diana, MarkW said this:
This has been going on for 10 years. My daughter is now grown up and married. I wasn't even told that she was getting married. Not allowed.
Markw said-
Actually, I was referring specifically to the 'alimony' that my ex-wife gets, and whether it is right for her to take the money, even though she has shunned me and has absolutely nothing to do with me.
There must be more to the story, since that's kinda the POINT of getting a divorce: it's a State-sponsored method for two people to shun each other, deciding they don't want anything to do with each other. Alimony is a LEGAL commitment; it has nothing to do with whether she's shunning you for religious purposes (but as I said, it's not unusual for divorced people to separately move on with their lives after a divorce).
Adam
Alimony for 10 years???
Certainly the state can't force you to maintain and ex's lifestyle in perpetuity?
Thanks again, folks.
Yes, the courts have said that I have to pay my ex-wife for life , or until she lives with someone for six months or more. (As she's still a witness, that probably won't happen).
I know I have to pay by law, and will continue to do so. I can afford to. It's just the principle that irks me.
I am not allowed contact in ANY way. No phone, no email, no letter, nothing.
But she still takes my money. In what way is that shunning? It's either all or nothing, surely?
She doesn't NEED the money. She lives on her own in our (her) 5-bedroom house, fully paid-for.
It's the principle, that's all.
Thanks again for all your comments, folks. Really grateful for you interest in thsi post.
Best wishes
Mark
You might consider contacting an attorney to see if you can have that alimony agreement modified. My cousin was able to.
