Dist. Conv. Program (page 2)

SYN

FRIDAY
Imitate The Zeal of Our Lord, Jesus - Joel 2:17
Translation: Sell More Literature! Bethel's running outta cash!

Morning
9:30 Music
9:40 Song 193 and Prayer
9:50 Rejoice In Coming Together as Kingdom Proclaimers *cough*10:20 Hearing from Fellow Kingdom Proclaimers
10:50 Song 151 and Announcements
11:00 Take Exquisite Delight in Jehovah Himself
11:20 Show Yourselves Thankful For what, wasting 72 hours of everyone here's lives?
11:50 Keynote Address: Kingdom Proclaimers Fired with Zeal Fired With Zeal? You can't fire me, I quit!12:20 Song 31 and Intermission Thank God.

Afternoon
2:00 Music

Get your asses in those hard, uncomfortable seats!
2:05 Song 92
2:10 Be Fearless in Knowing That Jehovah is With Us
2:30 Symposium: Micah's Prophecy Strengthens Us to Walk in Jehovah's Name
* Jehovah's Servants Have True Hope
* We Will Walk in Jehovah's Name Forever!
* What Does Jehovah Expect of Us? DUH. To sell more literature.
3:30 Song 80 and Announcements The exciting bit right here!
3:40 Maintain Chastity by Safeguarding Your Heart
4:00 Guard Against Deception Reborn2002: ROFL!
4:25 Worship the Only True God No, not that God, this one!
4:55 Song 6 and Closing Prayer Yippee!

SATURDAY
Be Zealous For What Is Good - 1Pe3:13

Morning
9:30 Music
9:40 Song 133 and Prayer
9:50 Examining the Scripts Daily Builds Zeal Plus, the mind control is reinforced too!
10:00 Symposium: Kingdom Proclaimers Who Glorify Their Ministry
* Handle the Word of God Aright
* Help Others to Accept the Kingdom Message
* Focus on Starting Bible Studies
11:00 Song 161 and Announcements
11:10 Why "Pray Incessantly" So you won't have time to do zero else, that's why!
11:30 Spiritual Conversation Builds Up Uh-oh
11:50 How Dedication and Baptism Lead to Salvation They stick you under the water! All of you!
12:20 Song 55 and Intermission

Afternoon
2:00 Music
2:05 Song 158
2:10 Be Modest, and Keep Your Eye Simple How the hell do you "keep your eye, simple"?
2:40 Trust Jehovah Completely in Times of Distress
3:10 Song 47 and Announcements
3:20 Symposium: The Quality of Our Faith Tested by Various Trials
* Suffering Persecution for the Sake of Righteousness
* Meeting the Issue of Neutrality
* Faithfully Enduring Trials Brings Praise to Jehovah
4:20 Draw Close to Jehovah
4:50 Song 97 and Closing Prayer

SUNDAY
A People Zealous For Fine Works-Tit 2:14

Morning
9:90 Music
9:40 Song 30 and Prayer
9:50 Examining the Scriptures Daily Promotes Fine Works A 10-minute talk, for the more inexperienced elders!
10:00 Is Your Confidence in Jehovah? No, but my doubts are!
10:40 Youths-Build for the Future with Jehovah's Organization Sounds like one of those insurance policy salesmen to me!
11:00 Song 183 and Announcements
11:10 DRAMA: Stand Firm in Troubled Times
11:40 Be Like Jeremiah-Fearlessly Proclaim the Word of God Translation: Don't worry about the bulldogs.12:00 Song 70 and Intermission

Afternoon
1:30 Music
1:40 Song 129 and Prayer
1:50 Public Discourse: "The Scene of This World Is Changing"

Yeah, I bet the New Light is on it's way too!
2:35 Song 181 and Announcements
2:40 Summary of the Watchtower YAWN!!!!!!
3:10 Abound in Fine Works as Zealous Kingdom Proclaimers

Mommy, I want to "about in fine works"!

Every religion is the One True Religion.[/i]

herbert

But I came here for an argument, Prisca. This is the argument clinic isn't it?

Matty, I used to dream of going to HickenTwam - that is when I weren't cleaning't septic tank out with my tongue. But you try and tell that to the young 'uns. Eee, lad, many's day we we were shot to death by angry farmers when we tried to place magazines with them - and after crawling through pits of hot gravel as well.

Remember that big Int. Convention at Twickers in the 70s - forget what year? We camped close by in a wet field after driving down from Lancashire in a beat up old black Mini with a rotten subframe.

Herbert

lastcall

I'm not planning to attend but could someone who does pick me up one of those wonderful chicken sandwhiches , you know the ones that the meat was still on the bone and yet was also between the buns? I'm due for some dental work anyway.

herbert

Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium - couldn't resist http://bau2.uibk.ac.at/sg/python/Scripts/TheCheeseShopSketch

Matty

Food at the conventions is just nostalgia to us in the UK. It was called "simplification".

The real story was that in 1968 the Watch Tower Society of Great Britain bought a job lot of "Hellas" chocolate bars - about a million I think - noone else wanted them, I guess. They tasted disgusting, and they weren't even real chocolate. We only had the food service until those bars were sold out. Unsold bars were kept in storage until the next year. Finally in about 1990 they sold the last one, and so they could finally stop the food service and get all the volunteers to actually listen to the sessions - something that none of them had done for about thirty years!

expatbrit

I ate approximately 843,268 of those Hellas bars, out of sheer boredom.

Expatbrit

Matty

Did you really? They reminded me of ex-lax. Are you still on the toilet now?!

I think they also put bromide in the tea.

moman

Soooo funny, I had forgotten about those assembly programs.
What a bunch of BULL-CHIT!!!!!

Stephanus

* Meeting the Issue of Neutrality

Hmmm. I wonder if new light is about to be shed. Perhaps there'll be some watering down of the "no voting" policy, in light of recent events. Perhaps even further clarification on military service.

Maintain Chastity by Safeguarding Your Heart

That's not the bt that needs safeguarding! LOL These Bethel boys need to read the chastity belts thread.

lastcall

Hey, somebody grab me a burrito and a lemon-lime shasta too!

Dist. Conv. Program

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