Dist. Conv. Program

by teejay 30 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  TR

  DRAMA: Stand Firm in Troubled Times

  Is the drama about how the WT lawyers fight off accusations of child abuse? LOL!

  TR

  UADNA-WA
  Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America- Washington Division
• 

  TexSham

  I may be slow, but, it's a joke, right? That's not the real convention program, is it?
• 

  Matty

  I have no reason to believe it isn't - it looks pretty similar to last year.
• 

  anewlife

  It looks like the real thing to me. Every year they take one word, like this year's "Zealous" and wrap every talk around it basically saying exactly what they said last year only with the new word of the day. I remember being a young teenager and noticing that. I mean how stupid do they really think we are/were?

  Anyway thanks Teejay for posting. And thanks to the rest of you for the laughs!! I'd like a burrito and a lemon lime Shasta as well. (Too bad we had to bring our own food the last few years...I sure do miss that Shasta! Yuk! I always said they were too cheap for Pepsi.)
• 

  LDH

  Well I've changed my mind. We WON'T be going to sunny Cabo San Lucas this summer for a little R and R.

  Instead, we'll be sitting in those rock hard chairs enjoying the sumptous spiritual feast provided by Jehovah at the Bakersfield California District Assembly.

  YEAH RIGHT.

  Lisa
• 

  SPAZnik

  LOL @ matty & expatbrit.

  Thank u both for a much needed LAFF!!!

  SPAZ
• 

  Bendrr

  FRIDAY
  Imitate The Zeal of Our Lord, Jesus - Joel 2:17

  Morning
  9:30 Music
  9:40 Song 193 and Prayer
  9:50 Sit Down, Shut Up, and Listen for the Next Three Days.
  10:20 Experiences of questionable origin
  10:50 Song 151 and Announcements
  11:00 Take Exquisite Delight in the ORGANIZATION
  11:20 Show Yourselves Thankful for the ORGANIZATION
  11:50 Keynote Address: ORGANIZATION Members Fired with Zeal
  12:20 Song 31 and Chick Scoping

  Afternoon
  2:00 Music
  2:05 Song 92
  2:10 Be Fearless in Knowing That the ORGANIZATION is With Us
  2:30 Symposium: Micah's Prophecy Strengthens Us to Walk in the ORGANIZATION's Name
  * The ORGANIZATION has Hope
  * We Will Walk in the ORGANIZATION Forever!
  * What Does the ORGANIZATION Expect of Us?
  3:30 Song 80 and Announcements
  3:40 Newest ORGANIZATION guidelines
  4:00 Guard Against Thinking
  4:25 Worship the Only True ORGANIZATION (and its God)
  4:55 Song 6 and Closing Prayer

  SATURDAY
  Be Zealous For What Is Good - 1Pe3:13

  Morning
  9:30 Music
  9:40 Song 133 and Prayer
  9:50 Not Examining the Scriptures too closely Builds Zeal
  10:00 Symposium: Recruit! Recruit! Recruit!
  * Mishandle the Word of God right
  * Convince Others to Accept the ORGANIZATION Message
  * Focus on Starting ORGANIZATION Literature Studies
  11:00 Song 161 and Announcements
  11:10 Why "Pray" When The ORGANIZATION does it for you?
  11:30 ORGANIZATION-speak Builds Up
  11:50 How Dedication to the ORGANIZATION and Baptism Lead to Salvation
  12:20 Song 55 and Chick-Scoping

  Afternoon
  2:00 Music
  2:05 Song 158
  2:10 Be Modest, and Keep Your Eye Simple, and make larger contributions to the ORGANIZATION
  2:40 Trust the ORGANIZATION Completely in Times of Scandals
  3:10 Song 47 and Announcements
  3:20 Symposium: The Quality of Our Faith in the ORGANIZATION Tested by Various Trials
  * Suffering Persecution for the Sake of the ORGANIZATION
  * Meeting the Issue of Neutrality
  * Faithfully Enduring Trials Makes the ORGANIZATION Happy
  4:20 Draw Close to the ORGANIZATION
  4:50 Song 97 and Closing Prayer

  SUNDAY
  A People Zealous For Fine Works-Tit 2:14

  Morning
  9:90 Music
  9:40 Song 30 and Prayer
  9:50 Not Examining the Scriptures Too Closely Promotes Fine Works
  10:00 Is Your Confidence in the ORGANIZATION?
  10:40 Youths-Build for the Future with the ORGANIZATION
  11:00 Song 183 and Announcements
  11:10 DRAMA: Blindly Stand Firm for the ORGANIZATION in Troubled Times
  11:40 Be Like Everyone Else-Mindlessly Proclaim the ORGANIZATION's Message
  12:00 Song 70 and Crunch-Time Chick Cruising

  Afternoon
  1:30 Music
  1:40 Song 129 and Prayer
  1:50 Public Discourse: "Be Afraid...Be VERY Afraid!"
  2:35 Song 181 and Announcements
  2:40 Summary of the Watchtower
  3:10 Put in More Time Knocking on Doors!

  whatever...
• 

  Matty

  LOL!
  So true Bendrr.

  I'm looking forward to wandering around the concourse during lunch break, round and round in circles, trying to find all my friends – but never finding any of them. There are 25,000 people there but you keep bumping into the same people all the time. And it’s always those nutty brothers you end up talking to - the ones that spit while they talk and have bad hygiene – the ones you normally want to avoid!
• 

  lastcall

  bendrr, LOL! , especially, Friday at 4:00.
• 

  teejay

  Lastcall: Hey, somebody grab me a burrito and a lemon-lime shasta too!

  Yeah!! And while y’all are down there, couldja get me one of them po’ boys and a vanilla pudding? And please... don’t forget the spoon.

  ---------
  Bendrr

  You deserve the Truth in Advertising – Telling it Like it Is award. Thanks for that updated (HONEST) program.