You don't owe them anything....nothing. They only have as much power over you as you let them have....
Tell them you just need some alone time and you're 'in prayer with Jehovah'..... don't offer anything else.
New here and having ah ha moments!
by Angus Beef 47 Replies latest jw friends
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Perry
That's how it got for me. Going to the KH just became mentally and emotionally exhausting. With all the clicks and good 'ole boy connections, it was simply too hostile of an environment for me to personally function within.
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PaintedToeNail
Angus, Welcome! It can definitely get to the point of as you said, "I just can't do it anymore." It can become so mentally exhausting that the pressure and stress make you mentally suffer...I had so many physical symptoms from the depression of trying to force myself to believe something that was illogical, that it almost ruined my health permanently. It has done the same to many others here. We understand what you are going through.
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rmt1
From my own experiences inside the structure, from my own collection of errata with who gets to do what, and combining that with experiences I read on this website, my conclusion is that JWs in general have no intention of requiring any standard of truth among themselves. The only crime is rocking the boat. To put this more bluntly, the GB lie. The GB lie. Those who lie the lies that the GB lie also themselves lie. You cannot find any JW that is in good standing who is not lying. They lie to themselves, first and foremost. They lie to the public, which is next in egregious moral wrong. They lie to their family. They lie to their friends. The sum significance of these varieties of lies is that you need to take charge of the demon of guilt they have implanted in you or saddled on you as respects what numbers or metrics they need to be harvesting from you. They'll squeeze you in a juice press for all the numbers or metrics you've got, and will only eject you from the juice press (the KH and good standing) if you refuse to produce the last metric. SO: The metric of being able to be counted as a publisher is one number. That requires not rocking the boat, not pointing at the naked emperor, not pointing at the elephant, not making a face at the foul stench. If you can do that, you can stay in. You need to find happy places in your mind to endure this concentration camp. Other posters here recommend texts that document JW teachings from an academic or pedagogical standpoint. I would recommend Victor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning". I would also recommend falsely reporting as small a number for field service as will keep them at bay. No number related to field service matters one bit. No one is honestly accomplishing anything honest in the entire process of field service, so do not allow their guilt machine to work inside your own perswonal sense of right and wrong. It is all catastrophically comprehensive bullshit, of the highest magnitude. Put in your false 15 minutes, your false half-hour, always have a story to explain your false numbers, and savor your time. (And plan, plan, plan how to reach those you care about.) The most important thing right now is breathing fresh air, locating sources of sanity, and putting on camoflague. Then building support networks. You have a long slog if you want your loved ones.
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ABibleStudent
Welcome Angus Beef , You have a lot of options that do not involve leaving the WTBTS now. Make a plan about how you want to help yourself, your husband, your children, and your grandchildren.
Your plan should include that you independently research the WTBTS to discover whether your suspicions are factual, learning as much as possible about Steve Hassan's BITE control model and how it can help you to critically think for yourself, how to help your family to critically think for themselves, how to plan fun activities with your family members to help them meet more non-JWs who they share common interests, how to do more effective financial planning than waiting on the WTBTS's Jehovah, and venting your feelings and asking for advise on JWN to help you and your family.
The greatist gift that you can give to JWs is to help them to critically think for themselves instead of allowing the WTBTS to use BITE control techniques to victimized JWs.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
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Hortensia
You might want to stop calling it "the truth." It isn't true.
Everyone has given some good advice -- the only thing I can say is take your time, do what you can to make life easier. As for those in your family who have already left the org., it wouldn't be a slap in the face if you do too. It would be a triumph and they would welcome it. I know, as the first person out in my family, I welcomed it when each new family member quit being a JW.
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besty
24 replies and 783 page views - think about how many silent people in the same position you have helped by posting your experience?
thanks - welcome to JWN and stick around, let us know how you are going...
Cheers
besty
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LoisLane looking for Superman
Hi there Angus Beef. You have come to the right place, where we understand your situation and your pain. Welcome.
LoisLane
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cantleave
Hi there Angus Beef (love the name),
It is a shock when you realise your long held beliefs are simple a web of lies spun by a floundering group of men who have deluded themselves that they are god's special people. I was gutted, I felt that 42 years of my life had been wasted. But there are ways of overcoming this. Make some friends (on-line is a good place to start) with people who are not JW's. Start deprogramming yourself, read as much as you can, from sites like JWfacts.com, freeminds and the wonderful archive held here. Also if you haven't already, get a copy or download Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz and also Stephen Hassan's books. When you realise there are many people, not just Ex-JW's but Ex-Mormon, Scientologists, Moonies etc, who have been through what you are experiencing it reassures you that things can get better.
Just don't go from the frying pan into the fire by looking for another "true" religion.
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Black Sheep
Welcome to our nightmare, Angus Beef
The best suggestion I can come up with is to do whatever it takes to keep up the facade of Trooo Believer.
You need to have an exit plan that works for you. Outing yourself as 'weak in the faith' will cut off a lot of options and I recommend saving that for much later, especially as you have kids that may run for the safety of the 'compound' if they know where you are really at.
Shut up for now
Educate yourself
Make a plan
Softly, softly, catchee monkey