When a current WT says something that doesn't make sense, don't take the lead by explaining why it doesn't. Make her take the lead in explaining why it does.
How can i continue my fade vs the rubber band theorem that pulls my wife in
by DS211 54 Replies latest jw friends
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DS211
Good advice prong.
vanderhoven:what if i go to the elders and express my doubts and when my wife sees how mistreated i am after bring open and honest...perhaps that might wake her up.
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jgnat
As much as possible, try and deal with these issues as a team. I don't know about you, but one of the chief benefits of marriage that I enjoy is having someone close at your side who also has your back. Hubby and I decide between us how much we are sharing with the elders. So if you plan on going to the elders, discuss it with her first and what you might tell them and how.
If the elders blow up no matter how carefully the two of you approach it, that should be a fine lesson for your wife.
Have a plan B if the elders instead take the soft approach. I'm a chess player, so I have a counter ready for all possible plays.
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DS211
Jgnat thanks for the links! And i am simikar..i have 8 plans really lol with each scenario playing in to how wife will react and how my life (and hers) woukd be should i take each course. And of course im working on how the elders will or coukd respond...i know the elders in my hall pretty well, on more so....and he is super strict. He somehow convinced wife and i to not go to her inactive sisters wedding and convinced us she should be treated as DF since she would be DF if she fessed up and went to the KH....buuuut my wife and i didnt feel right and went to the wedding...my wife got drunk and climbed a roof while i looked on and laughed lol maybe he was right? Haha
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DS211
Wife and i had a good day/night last night...had some jack and cokes, watched "the worlds end" (i love simon pegg and nick frost), then mortal instruments, played with the kids and had a good chat about what we were like when we furst dated. Good to open up.
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jgnat
Good stuff!
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bohm
DS: Great news, I really like Jgnats advice on the last page about telling her she can talk to you about anything that's on her mind.
I cannot find any of Stevens books as PDFs, sorry. The copy I read was from a library.
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ABibleStudent
You can buy "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs" from Amazon as a Kindle book (i.e., electronic file like a pdf). you can use the following links to download software to an Android phone/tablet and to a Pc to read Kindle books from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?docId=165849822 or http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?docId=1000426311.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
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bohm
Strike my last post, my google skills are no good..