Just out of curiosity, how many elders (current & ex) do we have here?

by mrquik 186 Replies latest jw friends

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    Thanks Rawe for counting all the posts.

    I am with Magwitch. My husband was an elder for 21 of our 26 year marriage. It did huge damage to our marriage, that still hurts so much even now. I had no voice in our marriage. My feelings and needs were never considered it was the religion first, I was always second or thrid.

    It never mattered if I felt sick and wished to stay home I had to be there to set the example. Than after the meetings the long, long elders meetings and I was stuck with a bunch of elder's wives who refused to let me into their little groups so I would sit alone in the car.

    No couples time at all, no anniversarys much less of course no holidays. We only got to enjoy our first year anniversary than my husband got to busy and our second year anniversary I spent alone in the car until midnight than I went over to another elders wives home who hated me until 2:00 in the morning when my husband finally came to get me, he was ticked off by whatever happened in that meeting and made me feel like scum for wanting to have an evening to gether as husband and wife, after all the congregation came first and I should have known better than to marry an elder if I did not like it. After that I just gave up trying to have anniversarys together, it hurt too much. There were no date nights of couse, there was no bonding as marriage mates.

    If someone needed my husband it never mattered what was going on in our life together who ever needed him came first. It was like being married to a doctor on call expect there was no money and we lived on nothing so my husband could put "Jehovah" first. The only reason he is not an elder today is because I was not in subjection enough. Seems because of my stand on not wanting pedophiles around me put my husband in a bad place with the other elders.

    Yeh the good times of being an elders wife.

    LITS

  • Kool Jo
    Kool Jo

    Ex-MS and was expected to become an elder...now that I know TTATT...I'll never be an elder or an MS again.

    Kool Jo

  • jookbeard
    jookbeard

    wow , massive roll call of ex elders posting here, and just think of the hundreds that faded away from this forum since its inception , I was close to becoming an MS than found out TTATT, the BOE in our cong liked to fast track brothers who were "reaching out" it came at the right time for me.

  • Slidin Fast
    Slidin Fast

    3 Apointments, 3 removals as an elder. Never again!

  • clarity
    clarity

    WoW ........just wow!

  • ?evrything
    ?evrything

    Like a poster above I could have been one if I lied and put more hours for field service. Kicking myself now for not lol.

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    Can i ask the ex elders and current, in all honesty, is it hard to come here and have no authority, to be an equal? I understand there are positive elements to handing over or giving up authority, but still, do you find it hard to be debated, questioned and sometimes ignored, by non elders, women and 'apostates'.

    being a human, i imagine it is hard at times.... Power corrupts, it is a sweet taste to the inner alpha male, hard to give up.

  • thedog1
    thedog1

    I welcome the equality. I always thought everybody is equal. Though currently serving as an elder I always struggled with the notion of being an elder who is somehow 'in authority' over others. Always found shepherding calls hard. Feeling a bit of a fake, thinking to myself that I am talking about things with other reasoning, thinking human beings with a brain. How was I any different? I do not mind the questions so long as others are polite about it. I have the utmost respect for women. A lot of them are smarter than me. My own wife, for example, is one of the most practical people I know. She is the one who changes the plugs, assembles the flatpacks, and repairs whatever needs repairing, while I attempt to look all intellectual. But we both bring something to the party. I work as a teacher and she does the housewife bit. You may say, oh yeah so typically male and female roles. But as I have already mentioned, she is the practical one. But in the past we have done whatever is necessary to keep the show on the road, and it didn't matter who worked or who didn't so long as we paid our way. At one time we had our own business where we worked together 50/50. Later we both had different jobs where she was sometimes earning more than me. Who cares? A marriage is a love match and a partnership. Whatever it takes!

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    Nice to hear dog xxx

    ps your wife sounds like a star! Does she have a sister!?

  • thedog1
    thedog1

    She does but she is happily married

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