How did you tell your spouse you want out of the JW religion? (page 2)

Captain Obvious

I had been struggling with doubts and cog dis for a few months, hadn't been out in service for months and wife knew why. She had been very supportive the whole time.

One day we were at home, I was showing her some of the WT lies and she flat out asked me if I didn't want to be a JW anymore.. I said no.

Well.. She... Flipped out! I've never seen her look at me that way and haven't since. I've never seen her cry and sob like that. Her head was spinning with automatic cult brain nonsense, I could tell it just didn't compute. After a while she calmed down and we talked it through a bit. I agreed to take another long, hard objective look at things. She wanted me to speak with the elders, of course they could get it all cleared up cause it's the truth, right? After some talking she agreed that talking with the elders is a BAD idea.

Since then she has been great. She's still a JW, but was always kind of a badass one. She barely has a cult personality to begin with, and I honestly haven't seen it since that day. She never comments at the meetings, does max 3 hrs a month in service, misses over half the meetings.

I'm confident that she will leave the JWs with me, and I'm almost willing to wait in with her until she does. She just likes the pre packaged social life and doesn't want to mess up her relationship with her family. We don't talk about JW things often, but she does bring it up sometimes. She also still gets me to explain the JW doctrines that she doesn't understand.

If I could do it again I would have skipped that conversation altogether... The long game works better, and confronting the cult personality is almost always a sure failure.

RunAsFastAsYouCan

I think it was when she pulled the knife and solicited me to kill everyone in the house.

leaving_quietly

Thanks everyone. Useful info. Keep it coming. I don't know how I'll end up doing it quite yet.

RottenRiley

Phizzy what doubts did your wife privately hold and what was the turning point that crushed the proverbial reed in your case and Mrs Phizzy? Mrs Phizzy's reply was intriguing to me, were you in the Players Circle or did you get treated like dirt or get stumbled but kept going with your head down? Why did Mrs Phizzy initially stop?

2. I notice a spouse can be inactive and not attending Meetings (A Silent Witness, one who is not testifying to Jehovah) and they have the nerve to go nuts after you decide to stop attending. Is it not odd how they grabbed hard for Momma's Breast after you showed it was not milk she was feeding you with, it was excrement. That would be a interesting Part on the Circuit Assembly, "How I got Reactivated!" I was not attending meetings or going out in fied circus for years until my husband who was attending all the meetings with high 'frequent driver' miles decided to stop attending. I never talked the Bible with him, I was not a spiritual person and never even read the Magazines. Now out of spite and fear, I am trying to become what the Governing Body want's me to be." They all fade after you break the news, unless you are going to divorce your spouse, most will fade down to a few Meetings like their past performance. That saying in business "Past Performance does not guarantee future results" is actually the opposite with JWs, Past Attendence in the Congo and Field are indicative of Future Performance".

Captain Obvious, can you explain the feelings of C/A you were suffering from? The New Generation tore holes in many brothers and sisters who actually understood what the implications of their Nu-Lite was. That was not enough for me to lose my faith, it took the trolls and defenders of the wicked to get me to walk out mentally. When I attend Meetings, it's all hypocritical on my part, I don't enjoy being there and I don't enjoy the lack of decent people. I almost lost my faith in the 1980s after reading Walter Martins books and a few on Philosophy, I had decent faith but I could not reconcile all the lies the Organization told and how they blammed their Date Fixations on everyone but themselves.

The Watchtower is very sneaky, they never thought JWs would have access to all the Magazines and Books that showed they said that the "end of all government was coming in 1914", humans would be gone if they were not with God." The lies they speak, "Our friends had zealous expectations and drew wrong conclusions, no fault on our part".

Aunt Fancy

We came out together but I was the one who started researching first. My hubby was a born in for almost 58 years with grandparents that were in the religion in the early 1900's and I came in in my late 20's spending 30 years in. He was an elder for many years but stepped down because he didn't like some of the things that were going on.

I ended up getting very sick which most of it was because of the stress of the religion and so I missed meetings. I wanted to quit years ago but I didn't know how to get away from it because I knew I would lose all of my friends. (Not one of my family or extended family is in, that goodness). Finally I had missed so many meetings and I noticed I felt better when I was away and when I went to the KH I had panic attacks. During the last year we were in we started seeing a therapist together and she helped me get the courage to do what was right for me.

I read a couple of ex JW books and went to some meetings but I would tell my husband things I was so angry about. In our relationship I tell him everything about how I feel and if I am angry with him I tell him. I do not sugar coat things or hid things from him. If I feel something is not right at the meetings I would tell him and I would call those brothers on the carpet to him. I came from a very long line of strong woman and both parents were college educated.

we went to the DC 7/12 and the first day we left 2 hours early and never went back we were so disgusted by the talk telling us to listen to the elders and do what they say. When we got in we angry and we never went back to the rest of the convention. i started reading COC and I would read him things from it and at first her would give the canned JW answer and that would piss me off and finally I told him "that is exactly what this book said you would say to me. He said let me read the book when you are done with it. He started reading and it was in no time before he was out himself. we both read everything we could get out hands on. He willing cam out but AI know he was ready and he saw too much injustice and was do e with it.

it has been a roller coaster ride but My family has bee wonderful to us and we are slowing making new friends and we are getting involved in things and meeting new friends. I ask my hubby why he listened to me when I told him the info I uncovered and he said because he loves and respects me too much.

Our marriage, health and a number of other things have never been this good in 33 years of being together.

I think you have everything to gain if get the courage to tell your spouse. I later asked him why he listened to me and he said because I respect you.

BU2B

Thanks for these, please share more.. This will be me soon..

punkofnice

I was still deluded with religion at the time. I told the missus I thought satan had infiltrated the GB. She was furious.

Later I decided I wasn't going to the meetings(TM) anymore.......I announced it to the family.

As a result later on down the line the wife left me. She says it wasn't because of religion but I heard a different story from someone else.

The ex-missus is a JW zealot...tis truly sad to see the level of delusion and devotion to the cult.

Oh well, I have a wonderful ex JW gf now.

DATA-DOG

I explained the ludicrous GB stance on "apostasy." I read from the Walsh Trial. I explained that I was already an "apostate" by the GB's standards. I simply said that I was thinking about a lot right now, and that I would not purposely cause trouble. I also had to make it very clear, in a calm manner, thay my conscience would not allow me to teach anything or reinforce anything that was not true. If the criteria for truth was not met by a teaching, then it was a human idea. I am not required by God to believe in human ideas that are not true. Any who persecute others for not believeing their made up ideas will be help accountable.

THE END.

BU2B

Does anyone have the evidence that the WT has said simply disagreeing in your own heart with something they teach is apostasy?? I would love to have it.

DATA-DOG

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/77420/1/Letter-From-WTBTS-Evidence-of-Mind-Control-Tactics#.UuvRCj1dX0c

DD

How did you tell your spouse you want out of the JW religion?

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