How did you tell your spouse you want out of the JW religion?

by leaving_quietly 61 Replies latest jw experiences

  • undercover
    undercover

    Why do some here have the courage to stand up and say "this is my last meeting" and others not? Any reasons for this?

    In my case... where I didn't force a showdown... I already knew that you couldn't force a JW to see facts and logic and come to the realization that the WTS was just another (false) religion. They, just as we were, are indoctrinated. Their real personality is stifled in order to keep the JW personality in charge.

    I had always had some doubts, but like most here, managed to keep them stuffed away, never to let them take root. But once a couple of doctrinal changes caused me to out and out question, all those doubts led to some hard research and soul searching. I realized it was bunk, and I tried to slyly introduce evidence for review, but it usually didn't take.

    Oh, we had arguments, but by the time it got to that point, the eyes had glazed over, the ears had plugged up and the brain had disengaged, and the cult personality/defense took over. Aside from those moments of disagreement, disappointment, and full on delusion on the part of the JW, the marriage is a good one and is worth fighting for. For me personally, I didn't want the WTS to win her over. I wanted to sway her from them. Still working at it. I've made progress, but the war drags on...Memorial season is usually the toughest time of the year. That's when all our other JW family 'encourage' us to return.

    Another thing I read over and over here on this site: When one mate realizes the lies of the WTS and seeks to find freedom from them, their JW mate reasons that by the one leaving the 'truth', it means their marriage is doomed, that they can't continue on without both serving Jehovah the WTS. My wife charged the same thing. I told her that I married her for her, not for our faith, our religion. And instead of just saying it, I had to, over time, and lots of it, show it to her. Just because I'm no longer a practicing JW doesn't mean I've cast her aside as well. I made it a point to keep her first in my life, over work, over other family, over everything else. That part is working. We are closer now than ever. The religion rarely comes up and over time she is now inactive, at least physically. Mentally she has yet to make the final break, but she is more critical in her thinking. She is more independant. She doesn't look to the WTS for solving problems, or choosing sides in social issues (she is in favor of gay marriage and legalizing weed, for instance). Her social life involves 'worldly' people - co-workers, neighbors, people she meets in social settings that have nothing to do with the JW religion. Except for a few sticking points that I haven't been able to break her from, she is not much different than all of us who have already broken free. Once she gets to the point of admitting she was in a cult, then she'll be truly free.

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    Why do some here have the courage to stand up and say "this is my last meeting" and others not?

    I wouldn't think of it as courage, BU2B. It's not really a matter of some people having something that others lack. Rather, there's a spectrum of personalities out there. Lots of people are assertive and lots of people are passive. Some of us are born to be peacemakers; we put others ahead of ourself to preserve peace. If you look within yourself, you'll probably find that you generally enjoy submitting to others and letting them have their way. It feels good to avoid conflict, right? The times when you let it go too far and you become stressed inside are no more frequent than the times that assertive people cause stress to themselves by being overly assertive and having it come back on them.

    There's probably a reason people like us exist, which is that if everyone were asserting themselves and trying to get ahead of others, it would be difficult to have a peaceful society. Perhaps in this case you feel it would have been better to have remained firm from the beginning, but you shouldn't cause yourself additional stress by telling yourself to be a different person. Just accept your nature, and remind yourself that you have good reasons to not back down on this particular issue, and do what you can to move forward and stay positive.

  • thedog1
    thedog1

    I agree that it is not the same for everybody. Even though I cannot agree with a lot of doctrine these days, I cannot cut the ties very easily. I have been a Witness for 34 years so it is a part of most of the things I have done in my life. My wife is still fully in though having some problems. At the moment I cannot envisage not being a part of the Witness side of things. Emotional, practical and social ties are very strong. So making the grand gesture in the cause of truth is not a simple thing. Hypocritical? Maybe. Realistic? Yes.

  • Gaje boy
    Gaje boy

    Like others I read CoC in secret. When I first decided it was all rubbish and told my spouse that I was not going to attend meetings anymore. She had a meltdown said that she would not be married to an appostate and would file for divorce. I moved out that day and got rid of a crazy spouse and crazy religion all in the same day. No regrets.

  • Jon Preston
    Jon Preston

    I just fessed up to my wife....told her how hurt i was, crued a bit...and we compromised and agreed we had to move. We are now in this process and i am leaving the home i grew up in to move to a place i only know one person.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Why do some here have the courage to stand up and say "this is my last meeting" and others not? Any reasons for this?

    Because it will bring such HUGE changes to a person's life.

    Often this is the only social network that person has. Sure, maybe they have co-workers, but they have intentionally avoided become "friends" with worldly people. They may have even their worldly family members, or hounded them so much about the Truth that they are avoided by family.

    If their "standing up" means they get marked as an apostate, it means not just a gradual loss of seeing their life-long friends, it mean an immediate CUTTING OFF by all JW friends and even their JW family.

    Yes, it's often easier to "fade" and attempt to maintain some normalcy with family and perhaps even maintain some friendships, however the love-bombing is gone forever.

    Doc

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    Wow amazing stories, I was young and single and that was hard enough, much respect and thanks for sharing,

    BU2B you are the reason I am replying, I really feel for you buddy. They have designed it into the belief system, it is scary to leave. I remember, it really, really is. All I can tell you is, that bibble you live in is false, and one day you step through it, you say enough is enough and......nothing.....the world didn't end. There are consequences from other peoole making judgments on you, but soon you realise, that is their weakness,,their blindness, their ignorance, their issue snd most importantly, thir conscience.

    I have always said, I can understand staying for a loved one, but rsising a child in those lies is another matter. I think you are a very brave person for getting this far. Maybe some more research to concrete yourself into knowing you are in the right will help? I spent 5 years researching before I left and I found it easier because I simply knew they were lying, being lied to and ultimately wrong. It made hard desicions a lot easier.

    I hooe we can be supportive and helpful for you buddy, keep us informed x

    snare

  • disposable hero of hypocrisy
    disposable hero of hypocrisy

    Apognophos - thanks for writing what you wrote, it really hit me hard. I'm there, I feel weak and stupid and cowardly at times, but it's geezers like you, and snare, that help me a LOT, and I'm sure I speak for countless others that read these posts too, perhaps even lurkers. Bu2b, you're not alone dude, we're here with you. Albeit parousaically.

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    BU2B, hang in there. There is no one answer for anyone, only you can know when the time is right. Perhaps you should pursue counseling, either marriage counseling if your goal is to maintain your marriage while you leave, or individual counseling if you are not sure what to do.

    I was basically inactive for ten years by the time I realized I just didn't believe it anymore. By that time I had few friends in the religion any more and only my mother (who thought I wasn't a JW anyway) and a brother I rarely saw. So I really had nothing to loose by leaving. I was leaving my husband anyway, I was done with it, so that actually helped me make the decision.

    My one regret is that I didn't leave sooner, but not knowing TTAT, I had to get there in my own time.

  • BU2B
    BU2B

    Wow thanks for all your kind thoughts and support! I am so very aware the extent of their falshoods, lies, and decietful ways.. Its hard because Im not sure I agree with ANYTHING they teach anymore, it is all so manipulative.

    In a way I think it is good when I get really disgusted with the religion.. The more I hate going to the KH etc.. the sooner I will put my foot down in as kind a way as possible. If my wife leaves me as a result, then I wouldnt want to be with someone who loves me conditionally anyways. I cant continue to bend to what everyone else wants. People will be very dissapointed with me.. Oh well, I know that is their problem not mine. I wont waste my life in this cult and I wont support my kids being indoctrinated. It seems they will be indoctrinated anyways, if my wife sticks with it, but I must be there as an alternative way of thinking and support for them. Most kids dont really like the WT way of life anyways so I plan to help them be independent thinkers and develop their reasoning skills and share TTATT with them as time goes by in ways they can understand for how old they are. I have some turbulent times ahead, just like being in the beautiful eye of a hurricane, I know what is coming.

    I know deep down it will only make me stronger. Going through it will make me a stronger, more assertive person. I will be 26 soon and want to leave before I start to get old lol. I am not going to make a big scene, but I will be outed soon when my daughter asks me, "why dont we take blood?" or "why cant I talk to my Aunty?" or "why cant we celebrate birthdays?" I cannot give her the WT line, and will not lie to her. I will end up telling her "there is nothing wrong with birthdays" and then she will run and tell my wife and it will be over, just like that..

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