by Frazzled UBM 50 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
emeth - I hope you are being facetious - what you really mean is each gives the amount they are guilted and pressured into giving surely...
blondie - I was thinking about your receipt for tax purposes and thought there may be a silver lining of getting a receipt in my name from the organisation - I could then sue them for fraud!
Putting on my therapists hat here: It sounds like you need to have a discussion with her on how much is OK. It is just a fact of life that she is going to want to donate. Better if she tells you how much so you can make compromises than if she sneaks around and gives even more.
Saying "I have told her she doesn't see any more of my money until she tells me what she is using her money for" sounds like something a controling person would say. That will never wake her up to TTATT. It will only make her did her heels in deeper.
And who knows maybe she is out buying you a big fat birtday present with the money.
mynameislame - since being exposed to the behaviour of someone controlled by this cult, including lying and deception by omission and basically being shut out of an important part of her life and not knowing what is going on in her head, I adopt any tactic I can to extract information because when I get no information my imagination becomes overactive - if this is controlling so be it but I cannot sit by happily and watch the Watchtower manipulate my wife and will fight whatever rearguard action I can. We have serious trust issues, I don't trust her cult persona and she doesn't trust my Satan-inspired UBM persona. My birthday is in December and she is not in the business of buying birthday presents. This is not a trivial amount she ahs withdrawn - you don't think I have a right to know what she is spending close to £1000 of our joint resources on? Fraz
@frazzled i dont know anyone who is pressured or guilted to give anything. Giving money does not lead to eternal life or to be forgiven for sins. People who love Jehovah and who think they belong to His organisation and who think that they are supporting the 'good cause' by making voluntary contributions love to give if they have enough resources to do so.
Sometimes with donations at a DC, CA, and SA the WT will tell the members how much the costs of the hire of the venue was and then give out the attendance figures. They will then say "we will leave that with you brothers". Many work out how much it costs per head and contribute that much. This is deceptive as the venue has already been paid for by surplus funds.
Sometime donations are solicited through different means by articles and talks at the KH. Members are encouraged to donate to a variety of projects, usually if a member cannot participate in some building project they are guilted into donating funds as a means to doing God's will and salvation. It's all about the money it's all deceptive.
Personally I agree with mynameislame, as to the controlling of funds. This will push her to being more deceptive. If this is not disposable income, lay your cards on the table and show her where the money needs to go. If it is disposable income then really it's not fair that she is assigning it to charity without discussing the use of funds with you.
Perhaps you could sit down with her and spend the money together, doing something you enjoy as a family, maybe dining out in fancy restuarants that she can get dressed up for. But appeal to her Christian nature and say it's not fair for her to assign the money with out discussion regardless whether its charitable or not.
Kate xx
emeth, I have discussed this with you before, its all about the money and your not giving fraz the full picture. JWs feel under pressure to donate at all times in the year and are asked for donations.
If you have never been asked to donate then either you weren't listening or they were solicited in a way that was too subtle for you to grasp and you donated willingly. Either way I disagree with you. JWs are expected to donate. Kate xx
I agree with Kate. They are deceptive and guilt inducing when they are asking for donations. A big cash cow for them is when a disaster strikes. They mention about helping out brothers in need which go course is human nature to help out those affected by natural disasters. They collect a pile from donations then they collect the insurance money too.
In the US $250 and over needs a receipit. Not sure of UK rules. Would she report it for taxes?
In the US, NO cash contributions are deductible any longer. You must have at least a cancelled check for any amount UP TO $250. Anything over $250 now also requires written documentation from the Charity/Church.
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In my experience in Cong Accounts and Cir/Dist Auditing, $100 was typically the most common "high end" contributions. Not uncommon for elderly members to drop in a check for $100 each month at the KHall and at each Assembly. This being your typical retired person/couple who had a dependable income and no longer having a mortgage, kids, etc (the expensive things in life).
$50 and $20 more common.
Doc
you know the JWs don't do charity work, or have ministries within their halls (kids Sunday school, nursery, seminars for specific problems - parenting, divorce, bevearement, teens, missions, etc, etc, etc) so just pitch in for rent, utilities, insurances and maintenance, I'd give $10/month, but that's me, I understand some may give less ....lol
I do think you should know where the money is going. I was just picturing the the conversation that would be going on in a JWs head. As you pointed out if you are not a JW there's no trust and everything you do is suspect.
They do preach that the wife should be even more obedient to the husband to win him over. Maybe you could use that to get the the elders to back you up. It might be worth a shot. Use the sneaking around to make them feel guilty.
It’s eye opening to see the other side of the conversation for a change. Makes me wonder what the truth was behind all those evil husband stories I used to hear when I was in. To think I actually believed that being a dub made for better families even when one was an unbeliever.
The birthday comment was more wishful thinking.
