by FL_Panthers 67 Replies latest jw friends
Yes my daughter faded nearly a year ago. Sadly though some of her friends still shun her. But your fade might be better if you take advice from this forum. start skipping the odd meeting here and there, and tell your parents that you don't feel well and that you are taking the matter to Jehovah.
Kate xx
We tried to fade, and it's been hard. Our kids are shunning us now because we've not been to a meeting. The elders have been on a witchhunt of late. and WT seems to be putting into full force advising members not to associate with non-jw family members and those gone in-active. So the fade is harder I think, IMO, now then it was 2-4 yrs ago.
FP, are you just asking why the sister gets association, or are you wondering about yourself if you decide to fade?
princecharmant, noted. I would hate to broadly brush all Witnesses as ignorant as this one is.
You sound very young. If that is the case, just get on with your life. Your friends might seem very important to you now, but even if you stay, friendships change and end throughout your life anyway, and you make new friends throughout your life. I am no longer friends with anyone I knew when I was young. Go make new friends where your friendship is not conditional upon your being a particular religion.
If you haven't already, go back to school and get an education, you will meet lots of people.
FL_Panthers - I think some of your questions made people suspicious - if you are indeed here with an open mind and trying to decide what to believe then maybe share that with us and you will get a better response.
As to the situation with faders it seems the organisation is cracking down on 'shunning avoiders' - you are either with them or against them. But it seems the elders are over worked so it still may be possible to slip under the radar if you do it right. If you have a lot of families and friends who are Witnesses it will be much more difficult as once your non-attendeance becomes very apparent someone will call you on whether you are still loyal to Jehovah's spirit-directed organisation. Fraz
@KateWild thanks for that.
@Angus Beef I was asking those two questions. If she doesn't go the meetings anymore, why would people from the congregations still hang out with her.
The only thing that springs to my mind is that the friends I have at the hall, I have known them since I was very young so I have grown up with them. Has anyone got any experience of leaving but still hanging with people you have grown up with still?
@LisaRose I am 23.
@Frazzled this is an honest question.
Now guys what about conduct. If I am fading, what does my conduct have to be like?
FP, every situation is different. She apparently was more popular at the time and some just can't let go of those types of ppl in their lives. She may have work contacts, or does she have an elder father, grandfather etc?? I've seen the same treatment. I can miss meetings and get shunned and labeled. But it takes another family over a year or two before ppl realize they've faded. Everyone still talks to them and greets them when seen locally. Even hangs out with friends. just like your gal. I don't know the answers but it sure makes one feel that JW are very judgemental and choice and pick who they want to associate with...
Has lurking on this site opened your eyes? Or are you finding out just what fading is, how ones do it only to identify those in your congregation who might be trying to fade?? It's not hard to find on search how one fades... I just want you to be honest with us. :)
I want to fade to be honest. I would like to be in control of my own life really.
I have another question: Say if I start fading, I start to do things that you can't do as JW. Would I still get DF'd or would the elders have to talk to me first?
If you are planning to fade, move away to another city.
Why not apply for university? You will get new friends and new things to do.
FP In my opinion it's impossible to fade if you still want to be socially engaged with JWs...they will remain friendly until they figure out you no longer want to be a JW. You will end up loosing all of your friends anyway and risk of being pursued by the elders. I know the only reason any JW would befriend me would be to reactivate me and then I may be able to be part of their social life. I have made new friends who have unconditional love for me and I just want to stay away from the elders.
