I have an honest question!

by FL_Panthers 67 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Angus Beef

  What a change from your first few posts. If you are serious, then I'm sure you'll get lots of support.

  It only took reading one post here last year to wake me up. Only 1 post. I never would have thought I'd be where I am now a year or two ago.

  I was struggling spiritually, but never thought I'd give up family and friends for my freedom. FP, do your research, find your reasons for leaving. Make sure cause once you start, it will be hard to go back. Esp if elders realize youre mentally out. Prepare for the questions and the witch hunt that will come. Some here have faded very easily, some like me have had elders even watching my family members at their jobs. Don't think they won't do this or that... READ READ READ, Educate yourself. Then Good Luck!

  If you are able to move, as young as you are, go for it... If you still live at home, save money, get a job... look into education. You have to make an escape plan, period.

  You'll be lucky if you can keep your friends, and by all means DONT TRUST ANYONE> You might think you could confide in your closest friend but they'll go to an elder faster than you think.

  Hope it goes well for you~
• 

  snare&racket

  I am worried about you now. Your previous posts have been very pro JW. Like you were trying to convince yourself It was the real 'truth' though it clearly is not.

  you are between a rock and a hard place and it is not a nice spot to be in. Are you doing ok? I get the sense you are quite young, do you have a plan ig it all gets serious?

  you need to ask what you want in life. Do you want to continue living a lie in a fale religion? Then simply confess, repent and move on.

  want to start living the real life? Time to grow some balls, but i guarantee it is the best desicion of your life.

  bearing in mind, that WT is just a croporation that teaches untruths, that the prople in the KH are just locals who don't dare question. What does it matTer?

  in the grand scheme of things this is all insignificant! It is just a silly.....game.

  So take yourself out the game, or let them push you out. It has the same result.
• 

  FL_Panthers

  @Angus beef I have had one my friends go to the elders about me before. When I asked him why he did that his answers was its a way of keeping the congregation clean. If that was me I wouldn't do anything. What I don't get is people like serial killers will have parents that still love them but smoke one cig, get drunk once, swear once and family and friends you have had all your life will just leave you. That really annoys me. Why is that?

  @snare&racket you know when you try to make yourself believe something that is true? That's how I am. I have many issues with the JW lifestyle which I probably will mention later on but honestly, I would like to make my own decisions in life. Just to clarify, I am not saying everything I have learned in the truth is false. Most things make sense ahd I believe it. But right now, I want to make my own decisions.
• 

  Dismissing servant

  What I don't get is people like serial killers will have parents that still love them but smoke one cig, get drunk once, swear once and family and friends you have had all your life will just leave you. That really annoys me. Why is that?"

  This is the difference betrween real love and affection compared to conditional. Conditional love is not real love..it's manipulation.

  Go get some real friends outside the Borg.......the ones inside are just conditional friends.
• 

  Angus Beef

  It's being conditioned to be conditional. I will love you if only you do this... or don't do that.

  Most parents have uncondtional love for their children, but when you are told obey obey obey, you'll serve your God without question and that would include shunnig your children if the WT tells you to do so. If your children did something that the WT has told you is wrong, you will uphold God's laws or WT interruptations of laws.

  Worldly people love their children even when they have done wrong. exJWs love their children even when they've done wrong. JWs turn their children into the elders and let the shit hit the fan. I know, I was one of them. I'd never again confide in the elders if my life depended on it. They reproved mine for things and then I'd learn others did the same or far worst and got nothing, it was swept under the rug. sweetie, youre gonna wake up to just more than "you want to do things your own way". Your life as a JW will change as you learn more.. the lies you've been taught, your views of the world will change. EVerything you've trusted will be gone. But in the long run, your life will be yours! You can control your life. You just have to learn how to not let WT, elders etc guilt or shame you.

  What do you want to do with your life?
• 

  Finkelstein

  Dont know if this is still the WTS. policy but even if you were to send in a disassociation letter and you stop going

  to meeting all together, they could still DF you if the elders see you doing things like celebrating Christmas etc. ,

  making a DF announcement at the Hall you attend. ?????

  .....and no there is no public legalization pertaining to religion with their internal operations.

  (except in acts of pedophilia being covered up, the WTS is just starting to learn that themselves)

  .

  One might think there should be since their actions can be so detrimental to individuals in policies like shunning,

  particularly when it involves immediate family members.
• 

  Frazzled UBM

  FL_Panther - Sorry if I was a bit harsh on you in my responses to your earlier posts. Good luck with the fade and listen to the advice you get on here from those who have been through what you are going through. Take care Fraz
• 

  problemaddict

  FL Panthers......

  Hey. I will echo Angus Beefs comments. READ and STUDY as much as you can. It sounds like you only have afew "doubts" about the organization, and rather that you just want the freedom of a normal 23 year old. Well i can tell you, unless you really think for yourself, you won't really be free.

  I have faded, and i have been able to keep friends. it has been a chess game I would not wish on anyone, but I realize eventually i may lose a couple. Fiortunately some of my closer friends are not super JW's.

  You can be disfellowshipped at the word of two witnesses that you have sinned. If you just stop going to meetings.....no you cannot.

  Think of it this way, it is better to be thought of as "weak" than as "evil" or a danger to congregational cleanliness.

  And seriously........you guys let steve smith go.
• 

  KateWild

  I have another question: Say if I start fading, I start to do things that you can't do as JW. Would I still get DF'd or would the elders have to talk to me first?-FP

  That depends on your body of elders, my daughter faded, she has a boyfriend and her elders pretty much just leave her alone so she can move on with her life. If she was still in the same cong in this city, the elders would likely hound her and Df her. They would have been right up in her business. So you may get left alone you may not, it just depends on the rumours going round about you and if the elders get to hear.

  Kate xx
• 

  troubled mind

  FL Panther , When you are raised in the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses most of the time it is a very sheltered way of growing up . Do yourself a favor and begin reading ,and learning all you can about life . Prepare yourself for adult hood ,for being on your own .Read self help kind of books on how to be successful in life .Get advice from respected teachers or other adults (maybe someone you work with ) in your life . Educate yourself !!

  You are a young adult looking to have your own life and making your own decisions .Thinking independently is frowned upon in the Organization ,why do you think that is ? They use to preach all the time not to listen to our own hearts because of the scripture that says "the heart is treacherous who can know it " ,but as a grown adult I can tell you that advice was WRONG ! Living a life not true to oneself is no life at all . Listen to your conscience ,follow what your gut or heart 'tells' you . Because if you repress those leanings it turns to anxiety and depression . Life is very short ,it should be lived to the fullest doing what makes you the most happy ,and brings joy to others . Now is YOUR time to find out what that means to you .

  Please don't waste so much time worrying about what the Elders will or won't do .If you are working and are outof school make a plan to move out on your own .Get a roommate if that helps with the bills . There were good things you learned as a Witness (you said) so take the good with you as you grow . So many young ones have felt so repressed that they leave and get into things that really do cause them heartache ,but that does not have to be you .

  It is not wrong to want to grow up away from your family and to stand on your own . Best Wishes to you !