Feel free to skip the intro down to the actual purpose of the thread lol!!
A little about myself. I'm a born in, 32 years in and almost 6 out. I've been out of the JW's since October of 2008. I came out due to a variety of factors, blood, historical roots, false teachings etc... My Older sister helped me out back in 2008 and I subsequently helped my brother exit and the 3 of us became "born again" Christians.
I've been mostly lurking but occasionally posting on JWN for around 5 years. My sister is a very easy to talk to, understanding person who I can have a human conversation with and doesn't try to answer everything with a scriptural or a Christian platitude.. My brother is now a Pastor and a very fanatical Christian and is hard to talk to on a personal level due to everything being answerable by a scripture or cliche type biblical answer.
I'm struggling with my faith due to a whole slew of reasons but suffice it to say I'm tired of the worn out "pray and wait on god" answer to my doubts. I see many contradictions in the bible, such as......Love is not Jealous, but god is love and God is jealous, thou shall not kill/murder...but god can murder everyone in existance, do not covet...but god covets worship of other "gods" etc....
Basically I get the impression the typical fallback for most Christians if not GOD HIMSELF is MIGHT MAKES RIGHT or GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS, HOW DARE THE CLAY QUESTION THE POTTER, I DO WHAT I PLEASE and yadda yadda. It strikes me as a tyrant type attitude of either bow down to me or die by my hand, yet any christian I know would absolutely condemn Hitler w/ out a moments hesitation.
I want to have faith and I am in absolutely no position to make judgements against even the most wayword of people (as I have a seriously checkered background) or god if he is real. I have f#(&@) up more than anyone I know yet in spite of that I just don't understand the massive number of contradictions in scripture or any other god belief for that matter.
I want to know what is your best case for or against god and/or if god exists hypothetically speaking what is your case against him/her for or against having any devotion or contempt for him/her.