Does he already think he has a witness against you speaking as an apostate?
If so, 2 people don't have to be there at the same time; he can establish himself as the second witness of your apostate beliefs/talk.
If you don't care if you are determined to have da'd yourself or be found apostate, and you will feel better talking to him to make your position known (not to the congregation just him and the elders and whoever gets the paperwork at Bethel), do what makes you feel better.
How will your wife feel and act if you are found officially an apostate and considered having da'd or are df'd?
Good luck, Blondie. I hope whatever happens you are happier with your circumstances.