My daughter's wedding dilemma (page 5)

smiddy

My daughter will be getting married this coming August. She and her future husband are not Jehovah's Witnesses. They will have a non-religious wedding ceremony. Then,there will be dinner at a banquet hall.

What is wrong with you . Your daughter & her husband are not JW`s , cant they invite who they like ? after all it is THEIR day . If these self righteous JW`s choose not to stay at the wedding that is their perogative , and will just show up what arseholes they really are. You , your daughter and her groom will be far better off without them , good riddance to them .

And dont be fooled , your daughter and her groom are getting married , not in a kingdom Hall ? Gossip ,murmurrings ,happening already .

Will they come ? Of course they will its a free dinner and night out. JW`s love that

. On the other hand they will not be backward in coming forward to show their displeasure on something they disaprove of .

Personally I hope nothing like what I have said turns out. And that you all have a wonderful night all of you .

Please let us know how it turned out.

smiddy

You need to take a good look at yourself , are you still under the influence of the WT mind control ? If so youneed to take decisive action to rid yourself of such a delusion if you want to keep a healthy relationship with your daughter.

Just saying

smiddy

Mikado

I agree totally with Smiddy...

Mikado

heres a hypothetical

imagine that this person is black( or blue, or green)

The relatives who you know will walk out arent jw, just bigots.

Bet there wouldn't be a momenta hesitation what to do would there ?

this is the same thing, exactly..

jemba

I feel sorry for the cousin too, it must make things awkward for him, especially if theres a mass walkout because of him.

It is a nasty cult!

blondie

I was inactive when I met my non-jw husband to be. Despite pressure from my jw family, I realized he was the best thing in my life and the false friends at the KH were a bad exchange. I was not married at the KH (even when I was a faithful jw I wanted an outdoor wedding, truly where God was I thought), it was a secular event (no church, no minister). Most of my jw family came except one couple who had pressured and threatened the others not to come. It was great not having them there. The bride and groom aren't jws....let the jws chose for themselves not for others. How many people will boycott...they only punish themselves.

Scully

My suggestion would be to have a more intimate dinner with the people your daughter values the most - immediate family and her DFd cousin and his partner, and perhaps a larger reception after (which does not include a dinner, but refreshments only) which includes the JWs.

This will allow her to celebrate her day with the people she cares about, but gives you some control over the situation (you won't be paying for a bunch of dinners that JWs will walk out on) and gives them the option to decline participation without too much added expense.

I've seen it done this way a couple of times - using the same venue for the more intimate meal with close family and friends, then opening it up to more people afterward for the dance/refreshments afterward.

millie210

Good morning Rules&Regs,

I didnt make it back to post this yesterday but I looked up some etiquitte sites online concerning weddings and receptions. Topics exactly like yours (difficult people - how to balance) are covered in a variety of creative ways.

Depending on your desire, you may want to check some out!

Wishing you all the best.

JWdaughter

So, your non JW daughter is inviting JW relatives and ex JW relatives and she is supposed to be a hall monitor? Or you are?

I would not own that at all. Figuring the numbers for the reception, only count half of the acceptances of the JWs (no sense in paying for the ones who walk out before eating) and realize that you are not responsible and should not be HELD responsible for this-however, if you will be DFd for this infraction(!) then you need to consider whether you will go to your own daughters wedding. Seriously, This is so whacked. Do you really want to even open the BOX to this game?

Dear Abby would say that you don't have to interphere at all. If they want to be idiots, that's on them. Hope they leave the present!

stirred but not shaken

Having been a long time elder, I can predict what the "faithful" will do, especially if any have positions of oversight. If they are not previously informed, they will feel obliged to leave, and feel justified with an impending reward for being faithful.

JW Facts mentioned "reality"...I agree, it must be faced. It would be something like inviting orthodox Jews and serving a ham dinner disguised as lamb. When they find out, they'll be incensed. "You should know better, and you tried to pull something over on us".

The caveat here might be that it is a non-witness wedding and they can invite anyone they wish, and the excusing witness will not feel that they have to be forewarned, because it is afterall, a non witness affair. They will then expect that there will be non-witness relatives and other worldly guests. If this cousin attends, they will likely take their usual position of ignoring that individual.

I was once informed by a former CO at a rather large and rather ornate reception, that if the separated and disfellowshipped husband/father appeared, we would all have to leave. He didn't, and all went well..whew.

wannaexit

Rules:

you mentioned that your daughter and her future hubby are not Jdubs. They should sent invites to whomever they want at their wedding. If different ones want to boycott the wedding, I guess its their choice. I think it would be more of an issue if your daughter and future son- in-law were witnesses.

I had a similar situation when I got married. My SIL married out of the troof and some boycotted because she was "marked" . Some felt she should not have t been allowed to attend. I didn't care. They were the losers as they missed out on a great wedding.

My daughter's wedding dilemma

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