by MissFit 64 Replies latest jw friends
I am a born in and have been out more if my adult life then I have been in. Emotionally however as long as I have brothers and sisters and parents in, my behavior is modified at least around them, even though they all know where I stand. As far as the elders, I could give a rats behind what they say or think about me. I will never agree to any meeting with them and it has been made abundantly clear that they are not welcome at my home.
Brainfloss
Kairos, YOU are not mentally diseased! The horrible men who manipulate others in the bOrg are those mentally diseased ones.
Your comments remind me of when I was feeling so angry/stupid/ashamed/horrible that I had spent so much of my life in this ridiculous organization without realizing how crazy it was.
Hang in there and keep moving forward. The crappy feelings will go away and you'll feel better about yourself. Hey! You have real friends here on this board, and depending on where you live, you may actually get to meet them! Watch for an apostafest near you.
I am really enjoying reading everyone's posts. Thank you for sharing.
It really is different process for everyone. I really think the emotional chains are the hardest to break.
Flipper: you are right. It so important to learn the facts and research the evidence.
The emotional chains are the hardest to break for most, because they were the only chains in reality. Very very few who have left were really 100% convinced of Doctrine.
So, what is left ? the emotional reasons for being in, made stronger if emotional reasons were the thing that got you in, the fuzzy warm feeling that hearing about a Paradise Earth gave you, or the "wonderful brotherhood" etc.
The feeling that JW's were your friends can be a strong pull, yet we know it is nonsense.
I met a Bro today from a neighbouring Cong to the one I used to attend, I told him we no longer go, I bet he doesn't speak to me again.
Phizzy: good point. I think that is why there is such a strong push recently to appeal to emotions. The video about the resurrection comes to mind.
And when you are born in- those emotional chains become an accessory. You wear it with pride. You think you are proving Satan a liar and indicating God by sitting out in the hall during a birthday party.
You get patted on the head for reading a couple of highlighted sentences during the study.
I remember the only positive attention I got was when I commented at the meetings or placed magazines.
I remember as an "Elder's" daughter , the extra pressure we had to be a good example because it reflects on him. ( my dad , not Jehovah)
As an adult, I struggled with the guilt of not serving Jehovah whole souled. Of marrying " out of the truth". So even though I was physically out it was because I did not feel worthy enough. I gave up. Then I would try again until my sense of inadequacy would kick in. I felt like I was betraying Jehovah.
I was shocked here when I found out all the things I didn't know I didnt know. Once I understood that the things I thought were true, weren't, I was able to start shedding son e of those emotional shackles.
When I initially saw the thread title, my first thought was "mentally out to lunch"...
...i.e. bonkers.
x
(Come to think of it, if that were the case, then yes; mentally "out" is pretty much emotionally "out". )
Vidiot: lol... that discribed me in my active active days.
come to think about it... that discribe my mom.
My mom told me once that she felt bad that my sisters( who won't have anything to do with the JWs) might not make it thru Armageddon since its so close.
But then she tells me that even though she would like to be with them in paradise, if they dont make it, she knows there will be plenty of other children that will need a mom. She can adopt them and have a chance to be a perfect mom.
I was speechless.
I have a hard time talking to my mom. She doesnt know I am fading , she lives in another state. (Besides the obvious state of denial.)
Getting out mentally was easy for me as I had questioned the religion for most of my time in it. I tried doing more to strengthen my faith. However, the more I did the more I realized something was wrong. Once I realized it was all fake, mentally I was out fairly quickly and physically out in less then six months.
Emotionally, that's a different story. It took me a few years to be emotionally free, most likely because I was raised in the religion and have so many family members and so-called friends that are super active.
An exit that works for one person may not work for the next.
I can see that it could work either way. One can be emotionally out...and later find TTATT. One can find out TTATT and over time come out emotionally.
Vanderhoven: i agree. It seems like the important part is finding TTATT.
The trigger for looking can be either mental or emotional.
I needed more information to become mentally out.
Once processed things intellectually and logically, I was able to work on the emotional road blocks. The knee jerk responses programmed into me via countless B &M sessions (Beatings & meetings)
