one last step..Is being mentally out the same as being emotionally out? (page 6)

Naoscillator

Mentally out. Physically in. And, thanks to this thread, I realize that I am still in physically because of still being in emotionally.

New Demosthenes

I only woke up about two months ago and I feel like I'm going insane from the stress of trying to sort things out.

I always saw the corruption but it was just a wait on Jehovah situation. After learning TTATT and actually reading the Bible without any "help" it didn't take me long to remove myself mentally. My biggest hurtle is going to be the emotional attachment to my family. I have good friends that are mildly open minded but I doubt they'll stick around long when they've noticed I've stopped showing up. As I'm a freshly budded apostate I'm still very religious, time will tell what happens there.

Born a JW and my stomach cramps when I acknowledge that I'm an apostate based on the way JWs define the term...so yeah, still a bit emotional.

MissFit

Welcome New Demo &Nao,

Give it time. Everyone processes things at a different rate.

if you haven't yet, start your own intro thread& tell us about your journey.

Everyone on board loves to pop in and say welcome.

Feel free to vent if you need to.

You will meet many who you will identify with, you will read stories that will break your heart.

Take your time and enjoy the freedom here to question, to debate and to disagree.

Miss. Fit

LisaRose

Welcome New Demosthenes. I think we have all had to go through what you are going through. It does get better, but I think there will always be those felling of loss and sadness for relationships we lost. It's hard, but it's worth it to live a life of integrity and honesty. Be patient, give yourself time, it will get easier.

humbled

I was an adult who was a serious Christian and accepted a free home bible study.

22 years later I got into trouble when I let the elders know of a recurring problem I had with something that always came up in the literature. I was a good little witness who had weathered other storms (One involved intervention from Bethel with a CO who had bungled a situation so badly i almost left over it). So the elders worked on me over the next several months while I waited for my letter to Bethel to get processsed by Holy Spirit. But it was the way the elders spoke and showed how afraid they were to read and think for themselves--they were even afraid to use their own bibles with me. This showed me how frightened everyone was of being "apostate". Even the brother who was a close family friend and normally brave in standing up for decent and reasonable--even loving behavior--even he was afraid. Fear was every where: my friends couldn't talk, I couldn't talk and the elders wouldn't talk-- just had a script to follow.

I couldn't believe "truth" could be like this.

The thing took about 9 months. I was a basket case. I barely could go to work. I stopped going to meetings while Bethel worked on its long answer to me. I had to wonder all the time if I was an evil trouble maker. But I didn't talk to any one to say what was happening so --I wasn't making trouble that way.

At the end I realized the Corporation was just a Big Business and didn't care about folks like me, or the Truth, or Jehovah--nothing. It was all flim-flam. They only cared about the Corporation. It was the most disgusted I have ever been in my life. I had gone along with it, too --not just religion--but that religion.

So leaving mentally and emotionally was altogether for me. I was glad I found JWN during the last months while I waited for the announcement to be made "Maeve is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses". I posted the news on JWN and went down to a bar and bought myself a beer.

MissFit

So humbled: what was the question that bothered you?

Humbled it sounds like it started mentally with your questions and triggered you emotionally when you saw the effect of thinking for yourself then completed the journey by physically leaving.

I know from reading your posts that your journey is still on going. It will be interesting to see where you will end up.

Miss Fit

humbled

I found the OT horrifying but I reasoned that some of the dark parts might be due to human interpretation of events. But the story that damned God, in my mind, was Genesis 22 : All our literature has God demanding Abe asking for the sacrifice of Isaac. I cited the worst offender, MY Book of Bible Stories as particularly offensive.

I spent years slowly piecing together bible research and paleography and how often particular words were used in what context. And more--because it wasn't possible that the pivot point of the bible would be this rotten. My material was corroborated by Bethel. But even though there existed valid reasons to give Jehovah plausible deniability on the charge that he was a lying, sneaking s.o.b., Bethel plastered a lengthy response with such ridiculous verbage that I could only laugh. Because all I had asked for myself was not to have to say "sacrifice your son" since the text didn't use it but used another word.

It is tedious to even bother you with that much. But it was a huge concern to me--I didn't want to serve a monster, won't serve one. The WTBTS did. They could live quite nicely with it--And having been a Catholic earlier on and now dealing with this--my peasant practicality burst out and I just couldn't handle any more bullshit mystery.

I told the brothers that I couldn't believe that the Corp was the FDS. and so I was OUT. I really believed that god should be good.

Then the Epic Thread buried him.

-------------------------------------

Your own journey out from capture was gutsy and amazing , MissFit. I am really awed by your resolute clarity and bravery. Also, I enjoy your clarity and generousity in this and other threads. I find it harder to be open about my thoughts when I am still uncertain and searching for a fair evaluation of the world I live in--and the people and events close in and beyond my own door. I do value a truly hospitable nature. thanks for asking me to say my piece.

MissFit

Humbled: I will miss your input. I have enjoyed following your journey and the insights you have shared along the way.

Perhaps leaving emotionally also means becoming an ex-exJW.

Finding a new identity and expanding your horizons.

This site and others like it can become a type of chain holding some to the horrors and anger of the past, feeding on the hate and bitterness that comes from being lied to and abused by people we trusted as JWs.

Some can handle the triggers and reminders of their past and are able to turn it into a positive, using it to help guide others through the journey.

Others are chained to the anger and use it to fan the resentment and keep it alive. They realize in order to recover they need a clean break.

Everyone here is at different stages. I am glad we have a place here that we can lick our wounds and recover.

I hope this place remains a safe haven for diversity.

This site needs different voices and different viewpoints so we can learn from each other.

I hope others will post about their experiences coming out.

What came first mental, physical, or emotional?

Miss Fit

MissFit

Well I just talked to my mom the other day. I guess I'm not as emotionally out as I thought I was. She sure knows how to push those buttons.😫

LisaRose

I don't know if some of us will ever be totally free of the effects of being in this religion. It's like an old injury, we may be fine one day, but then the cold weather hits and it aches all over again.

I have been out for 15 years now, but I was a JW for thirty years. Seeing my JW family in August at my brothers memorial service made me realize that I miss them. My JW family did talk to me, but there were walls up, it was hard to see them and be confronted with the fact that they think I am less than. I also know the next time I see them will be at the next funeral.

I am happy in my life and so grateful to be free of this soul sucking cult, so I try to focus on that.

one last step..Is being mentally out the same as being emotionally out?

Share this