I was in Federal Prison (a prisoner of "conscience" in the time of the Vietnam War) as a JW when the
wildfire got started about 1975 being the 'END' of six thousands years of human existence.'
All the brothers in Seagoville Federal Correctional Institution began parsing the implications.
If you mashed that phrase up into a meaningful communication from the Faithful Slave, what did it
really mean?
END of human existence.
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That rumor. . . that avalanche of wild speculation (cannily directed by the GB) built a sense of the inevitable in
those of us imprisoned BECAUSE WE WERE SITTING DUCKS!
We were in the belly of the so-called "Wild Beast" clearly identified as enemies of the state.
We imagined the worst, of course.
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As soon as I was paroled in 1969, I commenced Pioneering.
It is at this point a confluence of both reality and imagination and Post Traumatic Stress began visiting me demanding payment.
I now appraise this process as a kind of nervous breakdown in slow motion.
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Cut to the chase!
I moved my family (JW wife and three very tiny tots) from Fort Worth to California.
Whatever reasons I spoke aloud or internally, I think I was definitely seeking asylum from the madness of
PRESSURE from JW peers, the WTS, and the ever-increasing demands of END OF THE WORLD preaching.
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I was an artist by talent, but a JANITOR by JW exigency!
When I arrived in Los Angeles I secured my very first employment as an artist.
MY WHOLE LIFE SUDDENLY MADE CRYSTAL CLEAR SENSE!!
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The Watchtower spell was broken!
I made friends quickly with REAL PEOPLE. They were an influence for progress, development, ambition, and security of
a genuine nature. (Note: those people are still my best friends while no JW would pee on me if I were on fire.)
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From 1974 to 1978 I watched the Brothers and Sisters chasing after the ludicrous ARMAGEDDON frenzy while I was basking
in the eye of the imaginary hurricane truly enjoying my life FOR THE FIRST TIME since I had gotten involved with JW's.
This was a BORN AGAIN experience disconnected from fake spiritual discovery.
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For those of you who did not live through the extraordinary BLACK FRIDAY SALE of 1975, let me tell you about it.
This old world, this OLD SYSTEM OF THINGS was "going out of business."
JW's threw themselves headlong into an incredible delusional state of mind which cognitive dissonance has caused most
of them to pretend never happened.
It was like leaping off a high cliff for them totally trusting a soft landing.
Instead, guess what happened?
THEY ARE STILL FALLING because absolutely NOTHING happened.
The silence was eerie.
The silence was cosmic cruelty.
There was an almost unanimous unwillingness to TALK ABOUT the NON-happening!
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While everybody pretended things were just dandy--I was having the most beautiful renaissance and blossoming coming-of-age
renewal I'd ever experienced or imagined.
You see, MY LIFE suddenly disproved the LIE.
I was working at a secular job in art IN THE WORLD with Christendom's Christians as my friends and I was prospering.
So what?
Jehovah had told me through his "mouthpiece" the faithful and discreet Watchtower corporation, MY WORLD WOULD END.
Guess who was laughing?
Not the JW idiots, that's for sure.
The deer-in-the-headlights look on everybody's face told the real story.
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JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES HAD SELF-REFUTED by being stupid enough to set a FALSE DATE
which clearly exposed them as following a FALSE PROPHET: the Governing Body.
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That, my friends, is what finally made me wake up!
I had started fading almost immediately after my arrival in California, but not quite.
I attended meetings and went out door to door. I tried.
There was a sense of goofy self-delusion in telling people they had only 6 months to
study and get baptized OR ELSE!
It was flim-flam and nonsense.
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After 1975, my true blue JW wife began to change dramatically in personality.
Cognitive dissonance was not a phrase in my vocabulary at the time. I had no label for it.
She began drinking and staying out late and coming home acting weird.
All this is very personal and I won't rehash any of it here.
I separated from her. I continued working and giving her and the kids my entire paycheck.
I was sorting out what the hell any/all of this meant.
Where was my life headed?
I slept at different friend's houses while my wife and I were separated.
I was not engaging in anything sexual. I was not experimenting with drugs. I was not using profanity.
I was not forgetting to wash my hands before eating or failing to wipe my ass.
But, my wife went to the Congregation and poured out a tale of great opprobrium.
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I was called by the Overseer. Would I come in for a chat?
Sure.
I left that "chat" Disfellowshipped.
Yeah.