Finding out Who you really are (page 2)

garybuss

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Sentinel Wrote: <I judge no one and am totally open minded to all honest expressions. >

Hi Sentinel,

I tried to be open and non-judgmental at one point. Now I have happily abandoned those.

Now, I judge others every day. I judge them by the way they treat me and by how they treat people who are important to me.

When a member of a high control group shuns or snubs me or someone important to me, I convict them and sentence them to their own behaviors.

I am skeptical of all claims of a supernatural nature and demand extraordinary proof for all extraordinary claims. Honest expressions mean nothing to me and I only respond to objective reality. I hold nothing sacred and submit to no power over me. People who try to control me are fools and are doomed.

Outside of that, we have lots in common. :-)

Welcome and thanks for being here.

gb

The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm

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scootergirl

Amen......GB....couldn't have said it better myself!

SweatPea

Welcome Sentinel! I'm new to this board also. I related to your story so much. Sounds a lot like my own, which I plan on posting. I also felt out of place. What hurt me the most was the shunning from my family. I still have a hard time dealing with that. I have come to terms that my two daughters and two grand daughters are the only family that I need. I have a abundant amount of friends that except me for who I am. When they hear how my family treats me they can't believe it. If you have never lived the JW life it is hard to comprehend.

I noticed that we are about the same age, me 55.

You hang in there........it gets better. This forum has helped me a lot.

SweatPea

lisaBObeesa

Dear Sentinel,

Mostly I just lurk around hereonly posting once in a while. I wanted to thank you for your post and all that you shared. The subject of what it is like to grow up a JW and how it affects a persons development is close to my heart and my own journey. IMO, it often takes us years longer to figure out who we are than the average joe growing up. The saddest part is how some never do find out who they are because they accept the ready made identity imposed on them by the Org.

Psychdigg,

I am guessing that being raised JW is more damaging than being raised in most orthodox religions. I just dont hear about very many other religions where you loose your whole family and all your friends, your relationship with God and your salvation because you decide to read a book by an ex member, or visit a friends church with them, or any number of other normal, healthy decisions a young person might make as they are growing up, learning about the world around them and themselves. I DO hear of this sort of things in cult-ish control groups like scientologistsbut maybe I just have not looked into Orthodox religions enough. I know a lady who is a devout Orthodox Greek and her children had the freedom to grow up normally. I feel JWs teens, taken as a whole (not ALL), do not grow up normally.

I wrote a post about this from a child development perspective quite a while ago, but I cant find it now. Does anyone know if there is an archive of older posts, so that I could link to it? If I find it hiding on my computer someplace, maybe I will repost it.

LisaBObeesa

FriendlyFellaAL

Sentinel,

I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated you sharing your story with us. I would say that I enjoyed reading it, but somehow that just doesn't feel like the right thing to say in a situation like this.

Though our circumstances are vastly different, I still can relate to and sympathize with what you have gone through. Even though I have been out for almost ten years now, I still feel as if I've yet to discover myself and find out who I really am. I do feel, though, that each day brings me a bit closer than the day before.

This board has been a great source of comfort to me over the past fifteen months or so and though I am not an incredibly active participant, I find that the opinions and comments made by the others has helped me out immensely on more than one occasion.

Welcome to the board! I look forward to reading many more posts from you in the future.

Brian

Sentinel

gb

..and everyone has a right to their opinion. By nature I am more linient towards humankind.

Obviously your experiences in life have brought you to the point where you are. Seems like you might have some really bad things happen to you, and you are "not going to take it any more", and you are going to "stand up for yourself". There is nothing wrong with that.

I do know one thing for certain, and that is, that you do care about people, or you wouldn't be on here.

It's always great to read all kinds of self expression.

Hope you will keep on posting!

Karen

Sentinel

Hi SweePea,

It's so good to see you here. Because this is a place full of comfort, hope and friendship.

And, it's great that we are the same age.

Each of us have traveled our own path to get to this place, so I will certainly look forward to your posting of your story.

I too, find it so difficult that family would total shun their own. This has been so painful for me over the years, especially during the twelve years that my dear, sweet, little mom totally turned her back on me. And, in turning her back on me, she turned her back on her oldest grandson. And, I was not DF'd then. True, I had written a letter to the congr. and to the hqrtrs in NY asking that my name be removed, but she chose to be judge and jury.

I just got done speaking with her on the phone, as she lives in FL, and I am in Northern VA. A recent incident made me try to get one point across to her, and that is, Yes, mom, your daughter is very happy. She still considers me as "the living dead", just waiting to be killed off at armegeddon--by my own choice. At 78, she will never change.

Hope to see your post on here soon. I think we'd have lots to share.

Love and Light,

Karen/Sentinel

Sentinel

LisaBObeesa,

Thanks for your post. I know that this initial "ravaging" of sites and "posting like crazy" will subside for me as well.

It's just such a great place to be. We all understand what the cult did to us, and is still doing to us--otherwise, we probably wouldn't be on here. We are wounded, and we have scars. Even if we have healed, the scars will always be with us. This is the place to soothe ourselves, to open up, to speak out, speak up, and "listen".

Peace,

Karen/Sentinel

Sentinel

Hello Brian,

Yes, it's really not easy to spill your guts. I mean, people out in the world never understood it when I'd tell them some of the awful stuff going on, especially when I was being shunned by my mom, sibblings and friends. They would sympathize, but quickly just tell me to "find another religion" that doesn't require so much from me. Problem solved. Only, they just didn't understand.

The thing is, and we all know this to be true, is that we were borg, and in being indoctrinated to the point where I was, I didn't know that I had choices. They were all made for me. It's all about control. And, that's what a cult is. Even when I doubted, it took me years to just physically "get out". Getting out "mentally" took another twenty. It took me so long because it was in my nature to internalize my situation, plus I had other major stuff going on, life the suicide of my husband, which was major, major in the guilt department.

For me, I just kept trying to control everything, and the more I tried to control things, the worse things got. One day, I just "let go". What a buzz I got. It's been great ever since.

Being a JW taught me lots of things. It taught me scripture, inside and out, at least their location. Proper understanding is something else again. I view those writings more in a historical context now, which has opened up all sorts of possibilities in other areas of my thought processes.

Just remember, that you no longer have to meet the rigid controls of "the org", and you can now enjoy your life and live it, instead of simply existing.

You have an honest heart. Everything else will fall into place. You aren't alone!

Hope to hear from you again.

Karen/Sentinel

garybuss

Hi Karen,

I am encouraged you have not heard of me. I feared I was a high profile apostate. Guess not.

My story is on the link below.

I do like people a LOT. Although there's not much call for a 58 year old ex-jw skeptic. I will most likely keep posting somewhere. This forum fit's me pretty well. I went through a I love everybody phase back in the early 90's. Didn't last too long though.

I like religious people although I am not religious myself. I enjoy exchanges with thinkers from any practical viewpoint. Everything I write is for myself. Nothing I write needs to be taken personally by any healthy person. I enjoy changing sides and write pro as well as con. If a writer can not write pro as well as con she does not understand the issue.

Again . . . Welcome! And I will look for your posts.

gb

The Way I See it http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm

Finding out Who you really are

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